


Greetings From Apartment 3-I

by scapegoat



Series: Buenos Noches [1]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Apartment Building, Apartment Building, Asexual Character, Bad Advice, Bets & Wagers, Bisexual Character, Bromances & Sismances, Cockblocking, Comedy, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Loves Kurosaki Ichigo, Exhibitionism, Family Drama, Friendship, Masochism, Meddling, Multi, Multiple Pairings, Multiple Partners, Neighbors, Other, Platonic Life Partners, Platonic Relationships, Polyamory Negotiations, Pornstars, Relationship Advice, Relationship Negotiation, Students, Stupidity, Undecided Relationship(s), Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-12
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2017-12-29 04:14:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 49,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1000757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scapegoat/pseuds/scapegoat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone has that obnoxious neighbor that invites himself over or borrows things without asking? Yup, that's Grimmjow. Ichigo's found an apartment close to his school but to live there he's got to endure the next six months with the neighbor from Hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Check out the new tenant

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, Carving the Ice Prince should be proof enough of that fact. Furthermore, I should add that I turn in a zero percent profit from unloading my brain onto a document in computer or even written form. My ideas keep me broke.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo may be wondering if finding this building was good luck or not; well even if he doesn't think so everyone else seems to think its great luck.

Nineteen-year-old Kurosaki Ichigo stared in awe at the apartment building before him; if it could be called that because the building in question was huge! Most buildings he'd seen were half the size and width. No building even came close to being as big as this one. There had to be at least fifteen apartments on each floor!

Ever since Ichigo started college last year he went searching for an apartment building to live in so he could be closer to his school. However, somehow every single on-campus apartment was occupied so to avoid going through the pain in the ass of commuting each day getting an apartment was his only option.

Said search actually began a few weeks before he graduated from high school two years ago. The first real estate agent he had quit after four months of no vacancies then he was redirected to his current real estate agent Shihōin Yoruichi who hadn't given up hope so easily. The purple-haired woman kept Ichigo updated weekly whether she found him an apartment or not; they became quite fond of one another working together over a year – forming a friendship of sorts, something like a sibling relationship.

Luck shone over the duo a little over nine months into searching, three months ago, when Yoruichi began hearing of apartments opening up. Probably graduating or transferring college students. Unfortunately, none of the aforementioned apartments interested the orange-haired teen and the ones that were interesting weren't near his university.

Two months after yet another dry spell of no available places, one Zaraki Kenpachi phoned Yoruichi telling her about an apartment opening up in his building – Hueco Noches. Since the building was about a ten minute bus ride away from the school it was obvious the purple-haired woman was thrilled about taking a look which led to them being here now. A day after the phone call, Ichigo found himself standing in front of the building. Ichigo had no preferences in terms of where he lived as long as it was close to school and Yoruichi kept telling him there was some kind of good deal so he should at least take a look.

"Don't tell me you're nervous Kurosaki-chan~?" The purple-haired woman teased clamping onto his shoulders. "So what if this is the first actual building you've been to? No need to get nervous. They say thirteen is a lucky number right? The thirteenth month is full of opportunities."

"I'm not nervous Shihōin-san, I'm just spellbound. How is it that this place is so big and I have never heard about it in any magazines or on the internet? Like Seireitei or The Karakura Arms?"

"That's a good question but I believe those places are a bit more... uh, how should I put this? Fancy? Expensive? _Bitchy_? They're not really suited for a university student like yourself. Wow, that sounded like I was discriminating. What I meant to say was they are completely out of your price range. No wait, that's not good either! Those buildings – particularly seireitei – aren't anywhere near Karakura University and you know Karakura House is booked."

"I don't want to live in any of those places I was just asking why I never heard of this place before."

"Oh? Hmm... maybe HN doesn't like to advertise?" Ichigo rose an eyebrow. "Alright fine. Its completely new. I'm not exactly sure _how_ new but its considered new especially compared to other places."

"What does 'hueco noches' mean anyway?"

"Its Spanish for hollow nights. Now less talky and more walky." Yoruichi urged grabbing the nineteen-year-old pulling him toward the building which got bigger and bigger with each step closer.

A tall man with absurdly, gravity defying spiky black hair was leaning against the building smoking. He saw the duo approaching and put his cigarette out in the nearby ash tray. "You Kurosaki?" He asked gruffly.

"Yup." Ichigo flinched slightly as Yoruichi released her grip on him in favor of clamping her hands on his shoulders again. "Yes sir, this is Kurosaki Ichigo-kun, second year student at Karakura University under the science department. His father is a doctor with his own clinic~" The purple-haired woman nodded to herself. "He's a cancer and yes this is his natural hair color."

The man nodded. "Good to know. Come to my office." Yoruichi beamed exchanging glances with a less happier Ichigo; nevertheless, the duo made their way to the office of the black-haired man.

Once inside, they were seated in front of the large desk. The man closed the door and blinds before sitting behind the desk. "Alright, I'll be brief. If you're really interested in living here I'll need the damage deposit as well as the key money – which, if you didn't already know, is the equivalent of two months of rent."

Yoruichi whistled. "That's a hell of a lot cheaper than when I got my apartment! What's the catch Zaraki?"

"There is no catch, Shihōin, I don't know where you got your place but that's the way its always been here."

"Fuck, I had to fucking pay six months worth!" She huffed slumping back in her seat.

"I'll need the money in full by the end of the day or, well, I'll kick you out plain and simple. Now, in regards to a different matter I'm going to strike a deal with the kid. He looks like he has a good head on his shoulders so he's perfect for the job." The purple-haired woman sat up straight then rose an eyebrow. "As you may have noticed this building is seven stories tall so I have a shitload of tenants. Your typical renter apartment is about two or three flights but that's not important. I have this 'troublesome' tenant causing others to move out." Ichigo gulped audibly. "You want me to get to the point, don't you? Alright, I need to bring in some new blood but if everyone moves out while complaining about this one guy then that's not going to happen. If you can survive six months with this 'troublesome' neighbor it might make other people want to move in thinking it isn't so bad. But you won't be doing this for nothing, if you make it through to the end I'll give you an entire rent free year."

"You're using Ichigo to be your spokesperson for this building!? Is this the supposed 'good deal' you told me about over the phone? How the hell terrible is this guy to scare away other tenants?"

"Personally, I don't think the kid is bad; but tenants of all ages live here so they're not used to his ...rituals and such. In fact the last guy in the room next to his moved to a different floor."

"So you're going to put him next to this guy?!" The black-haired man nodded. "Dammit Kenpachi, why not just have them rooming together!?"

"Its too soon." Both Ichigo and Yoruichi gaped at him. "I'm joking! Damn. I wouldn't do that – his apartment is a one bedroom." Yoruichi facepalmed, "but like I said six months."

"What happens if I can't do it?"

"Ichigo?! Y-You're actually considering it?"

"Hold on Shihōin. If you can't do it kid then you can't do it. Plain and simple. Now if you manage to do it and decide you want to leave afterwards that's fine too. I'm a man of my word so I'll pay for anywhere else you want to live for the entire year."

"So I have nothing to lose?"

"Ichigo!?" Yoruichi sighed massaging her temples. "I can't believe this! If he's such a problem why can't you get this guy to move out instead?"

"Didn't I just say I don't think he's a problem? I've had complaints and requests to ask him to leave but he pays rent and with all the modifications in his room he pays damn good rent." The purple-haired woman shook her head groaning. "You in or you out kid, your call."

"I'm in." Ichigo said almost instantly. Yoruichi repeatedly banged her head against the table in front of her.

"Good. Glad to have you aboard." The two men shook hands. "Now this is a little unorthodox so don't tell anyone about it. You'll find out there are some real nosy bastards living around here and when I say here I don't necessarily mean this building but a few of the tenants are pretty nosy too. My apartment is across the hall from here; I'm proud to be a tenant of my building and I'd hate to have to come all the way here from who knows where just to fix a problem." Ichigo nodded. Most of the apartment buildings he saw on television had their landlord/owner in their own houses but this guy lived in his building and proudly to boot. Ichigo had to think about that for a second. Kenpachi's apartment was probably like a miniature house or something.

The black-haired man produced a key from the wall behind him. "Lets take you to apartment 3-I and while I'm at it I'll give you a rundown of Hueco Noches. Follow me." Ichigo and a reluctant Yoruichi followed the man out of his office. "With the lack of tenants the first floor currently belongs to me and my daughter Yachiru – she's one of those nosy people I warned you about but I guess that's normal for a kid. The laundry room, game room, rec room and all that stuff is in the basement which is a lot bigger than you'd think. The tenants occupy the remainder of the floors but the only floors filled with tenants are the fifth and the third – at least with you moving in the third is full. What else? There's a roof – obviously – and fire escapes in the usual places. There are vending machines on your floor if I'm not mistaken; as well as the sixth and seventh. There are ice machines on the second and seventh floor. Each apartment has a back patio – deck or whatever its called. You can do whatever you want in them... just don't try and jump off killing yourself. I don't need anymore bad press. I think that's all. If you have any questions you know where to find me. If I'm not in the office I'm in my apartment which is 1-A."

As Kenpachi was explaining things they walked up the two flights of stairs to apartment 3-I. Ironically so his given name began with an _I_ but that could just be coincidental. " **There.** " Kenpachi pointed to the room on the right. "That is the apartment, 3-J, home to one Jaegerjaquez Grimmjow; I try to stay out of tenants personal life unless it affects their rent money but the kid's pretty open about everything and I mean _everything_. I suppose that's why most people have a problem but I actually welcome such boldness; it builds character. As its 4:30pm you won't have the pleasure of meeting him now because he's at work." Ichigo mentally sighed in relief. "Here's your key." After opening the door, the black-haired man dropped the key in the stunned teen's hands. "Welcome to Hueco Noches. Try to enjoy your stay and remember – don't say anything to anyone. Come on Shihōin, I'll walk you back."

"J-Just a sec." She turned to Ichigo sighing. "Are you sure about this? I heard Karakura Tech's main off-campus building will have openings soon and—"

"I'm fine Yoruichi-san, I've got nothing to lose besides..." He dangled the key in front of her. "I technically already live here, at least I will when my parents pay for the place."

"Fine, its a little ...unusual but I will be checking in on you from time to time. We've been together for over a year and I'm apart of this crazy scheme now too." Sighing again, she patted him on the back. "Whatever you do try not to get swept up in this crazy guy's pace and in case you weren't clear I was talking about Zaraki."

Ichigo nodded, then Yoruichi nodded before heading down the stairs with Kenpachi. So... this was his new home, huh? As Kenpachi already opened the door all Ichigo had to do was take his first official step inside; he toed off his shoes putting them in the genkan then ventured into the apartment. As one would expect it was completely empty but that wouldn't be for long – he'd just call his dad and tell him he finally got a place and he was ready to move his things.

If he was only going to be here for six months it made little sense to bring everything; then again, if he stuck it out for the six months he could sit pretty for twelve more months so he wouldn't bring everything but most of his necessities. It wasn't as though he had a lot of stuff at home anyway.

Still, this was a pretty big one bedroom apartment but given the building's overall size it wasn't that much of a stretch. Shrugging, he fished his cellphone out of his pocket turning around to his front door where three faces were now in the doorway. "Uh...?"

"How'd you get the apartment open? I've been trying for days." The black-haired guy on the right said stepping fully into Ichigo's line of sight. The other two faces maintained their positions on the left side of the doorway. Ichigo wordlessly held up his key and the other two guys gasped. "You're a new tenant?" Before Ichigo could respond he found himself being embraced. "I'm Ayasegawa Yumichika." He said releasing Ichigo. "Damn you're cute; I'd love to have you model for me."

"Dammit Ayasegawa-kun, don't try and scare him off." Ichigo looked at the second guy walking into the apartment. "You didn't even take your shoes off!" He said chucking his shoes off in the genkan approaching the duo. "I'm Hisagi Shūhei. Come on Kira, lets restrain Ayasegawa."

The final guy hesitantly walked into the room toeing off his shoes before bowing. "I-I'm Kira Izuru."

Yumichika reappeared next to Ichigo's side. "Senpai, isn't he adorable? Ooh is this your natural hair color? Its gorgeous! I need to take a sample."

"Restrain him!" The blond hesitantly grabbed Yumichika's arm shaking his head. "Sorry about that. Unfortunately, Ayasegawa's a tenant on this floor so you'll be dealing with him a lot. I should apologize again for that... he can get a little handsy but he's mostly harmless." The black-haired guy in question gave the victory sign. "I'm exactly one floor up in 4-I and he's in 5-D." Kira nodded. "Kira's kinda shy so he doesn't say much."

"So..." Yumichika produced a pair of scissors from behind him. "Can I have a sample of your hair?"

"Ayasegawa, get the hell out of here!"

"Well fine! I know when I'm not wanted. Come on Kira-kun. Hey, if you're interested I work down the street at Ruri'iro Kujaku; its across the street from the doughnut shop called Full of It." He winked at Ichigo before disappearing with Kira.

Shūhei sighed rubbing the towel on his head. "Sorry about that, he's got this whole 'beauty' obsession thing that's now apparently including hair." The black-haired man folded his arms over his chest. "Zaraki-san tell you about your ...neighbor?" He jerked his head to the right and Ichigo nodded slowly. "Good luck, hey, if you're interested in switching rooms the one next to mine – 4-J – is available. Oh, but at the same time that's right above him so it won't really make much of a difference. Oh shit! I almost forgot to ask your name."

"Kurosaki Ichigo."

"Nice. Anyway, Kurosaki-kun, I'd better be going. See ya around." Bidding Ichigo adieu, Shūhei disappeared. Well, even if they were a bit eccentric they certainly were friendly neighbors.

Ichigo turned back around calling his parents. Might as well get it over with as soon as possible. The longer he waited the more they'd complain about him not calling. "Moshi moshi? Dad, I found a place."

"That's great! I'm filled with mixed feelings though. I mean, I should be happy that my only son has officially moved out but— oh Masaki, what should I do!?" Ichigo sighed hearing his mother console his father; sometimes that man was too over-dramatic for his own good. "So, what do you need aside from the usual?" His mother asked. "Is there a bed?"

Ichigo looked around briefly before walking into the back where, presumably, the bedroom was – which was also blank. "Nope, I'll just get a futon."

Ichigo heard his mother sigh. "Honey, are you absolutely positive you want to do this? I mean, do you really think this is a good idea? You've been at this for over a year now – trying to find a place. The train station is within walking distance of your university and you've been managing that just fine."

"I'm fine mom, really." Ichigo furrowed his eyebrows hearing his mother sigh again. "When do you think you can bring my stuff? I sort of want to move in as soon as possible. Oh! I'll also need the damage deposit and key money."

"Our first order of business is getting you a futon to sleep on. I mean, really? Why not have a bed? You've had nineteen years sleeping on one... like you've had nineteen years in our house—" Ichigo gaped at the phone. Not that his mother didn't have her outbursts but he was more used to his father doing it while she was the more calm individual. "Okay Masaki, give me the phone." His father cleared his throat. "Son, what's your building's name and how far is it away from here?"

"Hmm.. I'm not sure how far it is. Shihōin-san said its about fifteen minutes from my school so I'd say the distance between here and you guys place is about two hours give or take. Maybe an hour by plane? Oh, the name of it is Hueco Noches and its in Kyoto."

"K-Kyoto!? Two hours?!" He heard both his parents scream simultaneously. "How are you supposed to come home for weekends?!"

"I can take a weekly flight? It'll up my frequent flier miles. Or maybe the bullet train. Besides, you two didn't complain when I had to take a two hour train to school everyday!"

"You see how he treats us Masaki? He just wants to live on his own leaving us! He's not even in the same prefecture as us! Its not even the same region! Oh Ichigo why!" He heard his mother take the phone back after consoling her husband again. That was more of the norm. "I don't care how far away you live from us you better find some way to come and see us frequently young man!"

"Y-Yes mom, of course." Ichigo gulped. Damn his mother can be terrifying sometimes. "I-I'll talk to you two later."

"Just a minute, we have the directions to your building. Hueco Noches was it? We'll be there with your things as soon as we can. Love you sweetie."

"Love you too." Ichigo facepalmed hanging up. And they wondered why he wanted to live on his own? His parents were purebred psychos – it was a miracle he didn't turn out the same way. The nineteen-year-old probably wouldn't admit it out loud but he was always something of a mama's boy growing up despite how crazy his mother could. His parents abnormalities had nothing to do with his decision to want to be on his own but he'd be lying if he said he wouldn't miss their unusual antics on a daily basis. He just wanted to see what it was like living on his own; excluding the occasional sleep over this would be the first time he was separated from his parents.

Sighing, Ichigo turned back around seeing that his front door was still open. Shrugging, he walked over to it and as he was about to close it he saw a white-haired kid walking by. The kid in question paused looking up at him. He had on a pair of dark gray and black plaid pants with a plain gray button-up shirt. "You..." He began, "you can't possibly be moving into _that_ apartment, right?" Ichigo nodded slowly and the kid shook his head. "Alright. Hope you know what you're getting yourself into." He bowed and Ichigo bowed back. "The name's Hitsugaya Tōshirō – I'm a third year at Hōgyoku high school."

Ichigo knew he was staring but he couldn't help himself – this kid was a high school student? And a third year to boot? So he was about seventeen or eighteen and that _tiny?_ The white-haired teen couldn't be any bigger than his little sisters and they were fourteen! "I'm Kurosaki Ichigo."

"Listen Kurosaki." Hitsugaya said sighing. "I'll assume you were warned about Jaegerjaquez Grimmjow?" Ichigo nodded. "Right, I'm on the other side of that idiot so I have a pretty good idea what I'm talking about. Being a resident on this floor isn't something for the faint of heart. Everyone swears up and down that Grimmjow is the sole problem when that's only about half right. His best friend is on the other side of you so you're probably in the worst position out of anyone in this entire building. The two of them talk to one another through the walls since neither of them have cellphones, not to mention both of them have irregular work hours so they'll be barreling into their apartments when you're trying to sleep or you might even be asleep already but because they're so loud you'll hear them no matter how heavy a sleeper you are."

"If its so bad why are you still on this floor?"

"I'm not perfect, I have problems too – granted they're not as weird as his. Besides, I'm not about to walk up more stairs when I won't be getting away from him anyway. Moving out isn't an option because the rent is too good to give up because I lack the spirit necessary to survive. Furthermore, I've been living here longer so I can handle most of the stuff he dishes out. Anyway, I better take care of my homework before he gets home. Its been a pleasure talking to you Kurosaki, well I did most of the talking but it was a pleasure nonetheless." He nodded to Ichigo before walking down two apartments to his opening the door and going inside.

Ichigo was about to close his door but paused. If his parents were two hours away, possibly three with his father's procrastinating, he had time to kill – he had a class in an hour so it might be a good opportunity to survey the area before settling down in his empty apartment; though, he probably should have done that before getting the apartment.

Deciding to see what else the area had in store before class, Ichigo fully stepped out of his apartment pausing as he saw a green-haired woman staring blankly at him. "C-Can I help you?"

"Oh, Kurosaki, I forgot—" Hitsugaya froze standing next to Ichigo.

"Hello Hitsugaya-kun."

"Hi Odelschwanck-san." He bowed glancing at Ichigo nodding slightly. Ichigo's eyes widened. Judging by that look this woman must be another problematic tenant. "See you around Kurosaki." Hitsugaya mechanically walked back to his apartment closing the door. Ichigo slowly turned back to the green-haired woman.

"Kurosaki, huh? Interesting. I'm Odelschwanck Nell and I'm in apartment 3-A all the way down the hall." She pointed to the left. "The apartments letter from A to N but I'm sure you already knew that." Her eyes narrowed. "Ayasegawa-kun said you were cute so I had to confirm." She leaned forward then pursed her lips still narrowing her eyes before resuming her regular upright position standing back examining him. "You know, you really shouldn't wear that whole fuck-me-now expression or people might get the wrong idea... myself included." Nell licked her lips. "By the way, are you by chance interested in AVs we could always use some new faces." She shook his hand. "Gotta go, hope to see ya around~"

Ichigo blinked staring at her retreating form disappearing into her aforementioned apartment winking at him before stepping inside. Blushing slightly, he then looked down at the apparent card the green-haired woman slipped in his hand upon their handshake. He flipped said card over reading it then his eyes widened. He knew he recognized her ...face. Odelschwanck Nelliel Tu was one of the biggest AV actresses born in Kyoto – hell she might be one of the biggest in Japan or even in the entire world! Still blushing, Ichigo stuffed the card into his pocket then closed and locked his apartment. He just shook hands with an international porn star that lives in the same building as him!? Well, living in this building might not be so bad crazy neighbors aside.

He still had to survey the area before going to class so he might as well get that over with before he met anymore neighbors. Needless to say, he couldn't brace himself for all this weirdness in one sitting. The building had three staircases in total; one at each end of the hall (near apartments A and N) then one in the middle of the building between apartment G and apartment H. Fortunately, being in apartment I meant he was close to the staircase so he didn't have to walk very far to leave or come home. He must have missed it when Kenpachi led them up the stairs because they headed up on the staircase next to the A apartments.

No one was on or around the staircase so Ichigo made a mad dash down the stairs away from the building. He looked around once more for good measure before heading down the street.

— — — —

When Ichigo returned to his apartment about five hours later he saw several large men carrying a few of his belongings into his open apartment. His class went on a bit longer than usual so his return was delayed and he didn't get the opportunity to tell his parents who took it upon themselves to fix up his place without his presence or consent.

"Nīsan! Aniki!" Ichigo barely had time to brace himself as his younger twin sisters, Karin and Yuzu, latched onto each side as if they hadn't seen him in years instead of a few hours ago. "Nīsan, don't leave us!" Yuzu, the brunette twin, said gripping his left side.

"Yeah aniki, you were our only means of sanity!" Karin, the black-haired twin, said gripping the right. "I can't survive with just her!" The twins exclaimed pointing to one another briefly before returning their arms around their older brother's legs.

"And I can't walk with you two wrapped around my legs."

"Don't do it aniki." Karin pleaded. "Its four years, _four years_ , we have left in that house... with them and that's a minimum! Can't you go to a college in Tokyo?"

"It'll be hard to just transfer mid semester, besides think of it as payback for the six years you two left me alone with them and compared to then they are a lot tamer." The twins exchanged glances grimacing.

"But you can't blame us for not being born earlier!" Yuzu wailed.

"And you can't blame me for wanting to get the hell out of there."

"Hi sweetie." Masaki greeted patting her son on the head. "Make sure everything is to your liking, okay? Your father asked some of his patients for help, they don't mind moving things around since they think of it as physical therapy. So, we spoke to your landlord and paid for everything before setting the place up. All that's left is the last of your things." Ichigo watched in awe as his mother walked into the apartment somehow managing to drag her daughters along.

The nineteen-year-old didn't think he'd ever be able to figure out how she was able to do that constantly without breaking a sweat; they were latched on pretty tight – they might have broken skin with how deep their nails were dug into his legs. Though if Ichigo had to guess he'd say she probably had several years of experience dealing with her husband because Kurosaki Isshin was perhaps the most theatrical, overly dramatic creature in the world and he often got clingy. Any theatrics the Kurosaki children unleashed were purely paternally hereditary.

"Oh!" Ichigo glanced to his left seeing Yumichika – if he wasn't mistaken – pause before going into his apartment two doors down from the other side of the staircase. "Hello." He greeted approaching the group bowing. Masaki, who Ichigo swore was just inside the apartment, bowed back. Karin and Yuzu were beside their mother bowing as well. That woman was a magician – she had to be there was no other explanation for it! How else could anyone move as swiftly as she did without making a sound?! "I'm Ayasegawa Yumichika. Your hair is really beautiful." He held up his hand shaking slightly. "M-May I?" Masaki nodded allowing the black-haired male to caress her long caramel locks; he then knelt down in front of the twins caressing their hair as well before abruptly standing.

"I'm Kurosaki Masaki and these are my daughters Karin and Yuzu." She pointed to the twins as she called them. "Your hair is beautiful too Ayasegawa-kun, are you a hair stylist?"

Chuckling, Yumichika rubbed the back of his neck. "W-Wow... your aura is kind of overwhelming Kurosaki-san and I am a part-time hair stylist." Yumichika paused then looked around before clasping his hands around Masaki's. "May I have a sample of your hair?"

"Ayasegawa!" Swearing under his breath, the man in question flinched releasing Masaki's hands. "Stop obsessing over everyone's hair!" He grabbed Yumichika by the collar forcing him to bow. "Sorry about that; I'm Hisagi Shūhei, unfortunately I cannot protect your ...relative from this guy's recent obsession. His boss won't let him do much because he's a bit unbalanced."

"I see my son is in good hands with you around Hisagi-kun."

Shūhei blushed slightly nodding then paused before exchanging glances with an even more bewildered upright Yumichika. " _S-Son_?!" They squeaked and an unflinching Masaki nodded. "The Kurosaki living here is your kid?!"

Masaki nodded again, "yeah. I know, I'm often told I look far too young to have a son almost twenty." She chuckled oblivious to Shūhei and Yumichika gaping at her. "I guess I stay looking so young with all the love my family gives me~"

"Masaki~" Everyone looked around at the voice before the brunette chuckled excusing herself bringing her children inside of the apartment.

"Damn..." Yumichika whistled, "I tell ya sempai, if that woman isn't a milf then I don't know who is anymore." He nodded to himself.

"What are you thinking Ayasegawa? If you 'help' you might get closer to their hair?" Shūhei shook his head. "We really need to kick that creepy habit of yours."

"Oh come on sempai, you know you want to help because after seeing his mom you definitely want to know how the father looks." Shūhei paused for a second before shrugging then nodding. "Kurosaki-san?" Masaki turned to Yumichika and Shūhei bowing again. "Is it alright if we help your son get settled into his place? Some of my friends helped me move in and I had way more stuff."

"I'd appreciate that Ayasegawa-kun." She smiled and Shūhei slapped Yumichika's hand away so he wouldn't touch the brunette's hair again. So with that deceptively beautiful smile, Kurosaki Masaki put every willing and available individual in the vicinity to work having them finish setting up her son's place to his liking in less than an hour which included getting various heavy objects up two flights of stairs.

"That was great." She said with a smile turning to Yumichika and Shūhei. "I wish there was a way I could pay the two of you for all your help."

"N-No, that's alright." Shūhei said waving her off. "It was our good deed for the day, you know. Take care Kurosaki-san."

The brunette waved as the two of them walked off. Everyone else blushed saying their goodbyes to Masaki before disappearing. "You still got it honey~" Isshin cooed kissing his wife on the cheek. "To think we'd get so much work done for free in such a short amount of time! I'm so lucky you wanted to marry me."

"No, I'm the lucky one. Without your connections we wouldn't have anyone to help us."

"But I only have connections because of you."

"Oh honey, we really need to stop thinking of ways to outdoing ourselves and just be happy!" Isshin nodded and Yuzu couldn't help but gag as their parents embraced. Fortunately, they restrained themselves from making out like a couple of high schoolers.

Eager for some kind of distraction, Yuzu sat on her brother's futon watching the him put things into his draw. "Hey nīsan, can we sleep over here some time?" He made some kind of noncommittal, monosyllabic grunt. "How come you didn't get a normal bed?"

"Your kitchen has tatami mats!" Karin said running into the room. "I know I'm getting too excited but I only saw these in dojos never in a house. Aniki, you gotta let us sleep over some time!"

"I think you should take them home." Ichigo said looking at the clock above his draw that read 11:58pm. "I'll stop by home this weekend, alright?"

"Why are you in such a rush to kick us out son, have plans?"

"Yeah, there are these things called classes which I have early. In. The. Morning?" Isshin's eyes narrowed and Ichigo sighed. "I couldn't make plans when I was barely home."

The black-haired man sniffled. "He—he's a man now... I don't know what I'm supposed to do!" He sobbed. Yuzu patted him on the back and Karin rolled her eyes dragging him out of the house.

"Bye nīsan! Aniki!" The twins said waving before walking out.

Ichigo sighed turning to his mother. "You look sadder than me and you're the one moving out." The brunette patted her son on the shoulder. "I understand your need to be independent and live on your own but know that you will always be my baby, okay?" Ichigo nodded hugging his mother. "Have a good night sweetie, I'll buy your plane ticket for this weekend okay?" Ichigo nodded.

As Masaki left, closing the door behind her, she paused staring at her family frozen in the hall staring to the right. "D-Did I miss something?" Shaking out of their stupor, the trio walked over to her. Isshin wrapped an arm around her shoulder and the twins were at her sides. "Okay, what did I do to warrant this kind of affection?"

"Masaki, I just saw perhaps the most attractive male next to myself!" The brunette rose an eyebrow. "He had long bright blue hair and blue eyes; his smirk made me a little flustered..." He whispered something into his wife's ear that made her blush.

"He went into the apartment next to aniki's." Karin stated as if she read her mother's mind.

"Do you think we can visit him this weekend instead of him coming home? Better yet can we visit him sooner?" Yuzu asked.

Masaki glanced at her husband who nodded slowly, then Karin who nodded as well, finally her attention was redirected at Yuzu. "Um, tomorrow is Thursday right? I'll see if we can stop by on Friday if you want to so badly." The twins cheered and Isshin kissed his wife on the cheek. Chuckling, Masaki led her family down the stairs.

Meanwhile, on the other side of apartment 3-I. Ichigo walked around his newly renovated living area. The nineteen-year-old had to admit, this wouldn't be possible without his mother – it was a good thing everything was to his liking or he'd be screwed because the helpers in question couldn't leave fast enough after flirting with his mother.

Yawning, Ichigo headed to his bathroom for the first time since he got the apartment. Whoever was the last person to own this place was either suffering from extreme depression or really, really loved dark colors; the bathroom walls were dark gray – in fact the entire apartment had various shades of gray until his mother got color happy making all the walls different colors. Seriously, was she shooting for a magazine spread or something?

Ichigo wasn't even sure if colors were allowed but he'd let his parents figure that part out since they painted the walls in the first place. Plus, the walls were painted before he moved in unless they came that way. Kenpachi did say he didn't give a shit about what went on in the apartments unless it involved rent money so painting or any kind of remodeling would be fine, plus the landlord did say that 3-J's tenant had remodeling done.

If this was the first night he would be sleeping in his apartment it might as well be the first night he used his own bathroom too. Walking to his bathroom, a loud thud startled the nineteen-year-old. Ichigo glanced to the right staring at the wall. The thud was followed by a swear which probably came from his neighbor. Another thud was heard only this time it came from the left wall.

Ichigo paused looking back and forth between his walls. Just as quickly as they appeared the noise were gone. So far so good he guessed so he went to the bathroom to shower before retiring for the night.

— — — —

Chocolate eyes snapped open at the incessant knocking on his door – at least he thought it was his door. It could have been next door like last night... these walls seemed paper thing; anyway, didn't this apartment have a doorbell? When the knocking didn't cease, Ichigo sighed kicking the sheets off from his futon then slowly rising to his feet. This wasn't exactly the way he anticipated waking up in his apartment for the first time.

He slowly trudged to the front door cursing the lack of a peephole but the apartment did have a chain which was almost as good; there was also a window beside the door but that wouldn't really help right now. He opened the door as much as the chain would allow glancing at whoever was on the other side. Ichigo sighed seeing a black-haired creature looking to the left.

"Uryū?" Ichigo closed the door then opened it fully. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I was on my way to school when I remembered that text I got last night about you moving closer so I decided to stop by." Ichigo frowned, "does my presence not please you? Perhaps you'd prefer Kuchiki-chan coming over with her brother?" Ichigo scowled opening the door allowing the bespectacled teen access inside. "Damn Kurosaki, did Masaki-san fix the place up for you?" He asked toeing off his shoes.

"Yeah, the whole Kurosaki clan was over arranging things." The bespectacled teen walked around taking in the overall appearance. "So... you couldn't use the doorbell?"

"I distinctly remember you telling me you'd rather be woken up by the sound of knocking than the ringing of a doorbell." Ichigo sighed; only the bespectacled teen would remember something so trivial but that was probably to be expected for a best friend. Of course Ichigo was half-joking when he said that but Ishida Uryū wasn't exactly known for his sense of humor or basic understanding of humorous things. "By the way, you have some rather ...interesting neighbors in this building. As I was making my way here a really pretty guy asked if he could touch my hair. He said something about the texture and proportion size..." Ichigo sighed, he couldn't possibly be too familiar with the neighbors yet not even living here for an entire day but there was no other person but Yumichika that fit that description – unless someone else in the building had an irrational hair fetish.

"I'm going to get ready so just continue doing what you're doing." Ichigo paused briefly before disappearing in what Uryū assumed to be his bathroom. A few of their friends asked the bespectacled teen to be a guinea pig of sorts – his mission was to scope out Ichigo's new place on their behalf. Uryū was the first person Ichigo told so it was his sole, civic duty as the orange-haired male's best friend for the past fourteen years. Uryū had every intention on doing this anyway but at least now he had an excuse (or someone to blame) for his being here which was currently from a curious and unbiased standpoint.

He was more concerned than anyone about Ichigo's apartment. Well, not more concerned than his parents but more concerned than their friends. Again, civic duty of the best friend. Uryū continued to survey the area. The Kurosaki family went all out decorating this place; while it had a certain essence of Ichigo, this apartment looked like it was something out of a magazine. No one could really believe a nineteen-year-old, specifically a nineteen-year-old like Ichigo, lived in this place by themselves without some kind of housekeeper.

Suddenly the doorbell rang jarring Uryū out of his thoughts. He approached the door opening it startling the man on the other side. "H-Hello!" He bowed. "I-I have a package for Cifer Ulquiorra-san. The landlord told me to 'deliver it to him myself and not to disturb him with meaningless shit.'" The mailman chuckled awkwardly then cleared his throat. "I-Is Cifer-san in?"

"Oi!" Both Uryū and the mailman stuck their heads out the door seeing a grinning black-haired man stop in front of the door. "So sorry man, Cifer-san relocated to a different apartment but I'm inclined to stamp that bad boy for ya~"

"I-Its against company policy to—"

The mailman gasped as the tall black-haired male leaned closer pulling him down to his eye level. "I know you have a job to do and I respect that, really, but in all seriousness you do not want to meet Cifer under any circumstances. Trust me on this one ...he is one scary S.O.B.. The last mail carrier to give him a package was set on fire." The mailman gulped. "True story; there are scorch marks on the railing to prove it." The mailman slowly turned around and his eyes widened considerably at the scorched railing right in front of the apartment. How did he miss that before...? "I promise that Cifer-san will get this package at his earliest convenience." He pulled a stamp out of his pocket pressing it against the clipboard then slowly taking the package out of the stunned man's hands. "Have a good day~" He turned the man around gently pushing him in the direction of the middle staircase. "Oh..." The man looked up, "by the way... in the future if you have any packages for Kira, Hisagi, Hitsugaya, Granz, Starrk, Ayasegawa, Arisawa, Asano, Gilga, Vega or Jaegerjaquez I will gladly stamp for those too. Ill tempered, hostile bastards those guys are. Some of them even worse than Cifer if you can believe it." Nodding the man slowly walked down the stairs.

The black-haired man sighed in relief as the mailman completely disappeared from his line of sight. The man put the box under his arm then glanced up at Uryū. "Oh ho, what do we have here? You new? I haven't seen you around before and I'm good with faces. I heard Cifer's apartment was up for grabs but I didn't think it would get filled up so quickly especially with Jaegerjaquez being next door. Anyway but I'm babbling, the name's Redder Abirama."

"This isn't my apartment, I'm visiting a friend who moved in yesterday."

"Ah ha, even better. I just love new blood." Abirama grinned, "I bet you're interested in what's inside aren't ya? I won't tell if you won't~" He put an arm around Uryū, leaning down to the bespectacled teen's height, then opened the top of his stamp revealing a tiny pocket knife; with the knife he cut the tape and his and Uryū's eyes widened at the contents of the box.

Inside the box was a twin set of purple vibrators. "That Cifer guy must have some interesting taste..."

"This isn't Cifer's." He closed the box again, "I guess its a good thing I opened it before someone else did. Dammit, those fucking idiots... I bet they ordered shit under Cifer's name or somehow got him to order stuff for them again."

"Neither of those are correct, _Redder_ , but that's to be expected by someone with such a low IQ." Gold eyes narrowed at the pink-haired and blond men sauntering toward him. "We'll be taking that box now if you don't mind. Cifer-san can be quite scary when upset."

"I hate when you two talk in sync!"

Amber and rose colored eyes glanced in the direction of the bespectacled teen. "New blood? In Cifer-san's old apartment? How sad."

"He isn't the newbie." Abirama replied folding his arms over his chest still keeping a hand on the box.

"Oh? That's a relief, we're the Granz twins Yylfordt and Szayel." They bowed and Uryū bowed back.

"I'm Ishida Uryū."

"Ishida? Like the hospital?" Abirama asked and Uryū nodded slowly.

"That's fascinating. I went there when I cut my leg, the service there is excellent." The pink-haired twin said nodding. "Oh ...in case you were wondering I'm Szayel and he's Yylfordt."

"Stop trying to take my identity Yylfordt-nī. **I** am Szayel, the younger twin by eight and a half minutes. That poor sap is always trying to be me forcing me to adopt his sorry, bland personality." The blond sighed shaking his head, "its sad really. Hey, what's that?" The twins and Abirama started in the apartment at a towel clad Ichigo staring back at them.

"Please tell me he's our new tenant." Abirama said getting a nod of agreement from the twins.

Ichigo wasn't sure he was okay with whoever the hell those people were standing outside his door staring at him so intently but there was nothing he could do about it short of shutting the door in their faces but that wouldn't be very neighborly. He walked over to his dresser grabbing a pair of boxer-briefs. Slipping the undergarment under his towel, Ichigo picked up a discarded pair of pants and put them on too before taking his towel off and folding it placing it on the dresser before heading to the front door. "Hey." He said. The blond and pink-haired men just stared while the black-haired man shook his head then sighed.

"Hey yourself. It goes without saying that is it a personal pleasure to welcome you to our humble not so little building. I am Redder Abirama." He bowed and Ichigo bowed back. "I am not fortune enough to be on this floor, I am the resident of apartment 4-M at the end of the hall one floor up. These idiots are the Granz twins Szayel and Yylfordt." He pointed to them as he spoke. "They live in 3-D." He beckoned Ichigo closer yet. "Have you ...met Jaegerjaquez yet?" Ichigo shook his head. "Good. As a friendly neighbor or what have you let me give you a little piece of advice; you look like you've got a good head on your shoulders so you should steer clear of him but if you can't make sure you're packing peanuts with you at all times because he's got a serious allergy to them. I'm talking bulbous face swelling serious." He slid Ichigo a pack of mixed nuts. "You'll thank me later... but don't tell him I gave them to you because he's fucking scary. Lets go you idiot twins." Abirama grabbed each of them with both hands dragging them away.

Now he met more eccentric albeit friendly neighbors and most of them close by. "Oh, I almost forgot." The black-haired man emerged from the doorway. "I was so busy warning you I didn't catch your name."

"Kurosaki Ichigo."

"Ichigo, hm? That's pretty sexy man. See ya around Ic-hi-go-san~" With a wink, Abirama disappeared.

Uryū had fully come into the apartment halfway through Abirama's monologue and he closed the door as Ichigo was staring down at a small single serving size bag of mixed nuts. The black-haired man must have been serious about carrying them around at all times if he just spontaneously produced one out of thin air. Who would have thought a seemingly harmless snack to some could do so much damage to others?

"By the way Ichigo..." He stared at the bespectacled teen adjusting his glasses. "Kojima and Kuchiki-chan wanted to stop by."

Ichigo sighed, "of course they did." He trudged to his wardrobe grabbing a random shirt and putting it on. "Lets head out." Nodding, Uryū exited the apartment first then Ichigo closing the door behind him. As the school was closer to his new home, Ichigo was allowed more time to sleep which was great because he needed at least six hours of slumber to function at an eighty percent level – he was told he was unapproachable before but those people never saw him without any sleep. That was unapproachable, maybe even severely unapproachable. The campus was as overcrowded as usual but Ichigo was in a far better mood now because some pervert wasn't trying to cop a feel from him on the train.

— — — —

"Ichigo~" The aforementioned teen glanced at one of his friends staring at him. "Ishida-kun told me your place is amazing. You really lucked out getting a place so close by and to be living on your own too? My folks will probably never let me leave which is odd because most parents can't wait for their kids to leave the house. I think ours are the only antithesis to that statement. How did you manage to win them over?"

"That's a good question. I guess the money coming out for commuting helped me out."

"So, is your place all set up? Kuchiki-chan's been asking about coming over and I can't help but be curious myself. I know Ishida-kun had to go first since he's your best friend and whatever but what about the rest of us?"

"Don't start Kojima." Uryū began adjusting his glasses approaching the duo. "Just because Ichigo has two little sisters doesn't mean he'll cave to your demands so pitifully."

"What you need is a woman's touch~" A black-haired girl said popping up from behind Ichigo. "Kurosaki-kun is quite chivalrous after all. Who says chivalry is dead?"

Sighing, Ichigo shook his head. "Not you too Rukia?" Beaming, the black-haired girl nodded. "Why are you all so obsessed with my apartment? You live in a place with your brother and Uryū's had his own place since junior high."

"Yeah... but this is you Ichigo, the _proud_ product of two successful individuals. You're a parent's wet dream my friend, we thought you'd be coasting along that ride until it was over."

"Mizuiro's right." Rukia added. "My father only let me leave if Byakuya-nī came with me and even now he still checks up on me; I'm thinking of moving back in to save him the trouble." She sighed.

"Hey! We're getting off topic." Mizuiro interrupted, "are you going to show us your place or not man? I kind of have plans later."

"Argh! Fine, you guys can come over today but that's it! I have homework and I'm still not all that used to my place yet." Rukia and Mizuiro high-fived one another. "Lets go before I change my mind."

"Wait a minute Ichigo, I need to tell Byakuya-nī so he can come along too because I know he's curious~" Ichigo gaped watching Rukia walk off with her cellphone in her hand.

"You know, I never pegged Byakuya as the _curious_ type." Ichigo said frowning and Uryū and Mizuiro nodded in agreement.

"So, do we need the train or are we hoofing it?"

"Uh, we're ...hoofing it I guess. Whatever. Its about twenty minutes away anyway." He glanced at Mizuiro, "if you're going to bitch about walking you can take the train home."

"Bitch? Me? I wasn't going to!" Mizuiro shook his arms defensively. "A nice brisk walk in this lovely late spring weather is exactly what we need." He nodded to himself.

"Lets get this over with..."

— — — —

After a twenty five minute walk with minimal complaints, the group made it to the Hueco Noches apartment building. "This place is beautiful Ichigo." Rukia said looking around, "does your apartment look as good as the building does on the outside?"

"I'll leave that up to your opinion." Mizuiro glanced at the bespectacled teen who shrugged nonchalantly. Two flights of stairs later had them walking down the third floor bypassing apartment 3-H before going to their destination.

"Hey, its 3-I, what a coincidence right?" Ichigo's eyes narrowed at the black-haired teen. As he was putting the key into the door he heard someone call out to him.

"Kurosaki-kun~" Everyone glanced to the right seeing nothing, then they glanced to the left which was also empty. Eyebrows furrowing, Ichigo unlocked the door before heading to the middle staircase pausing when he saw Nelliel panting in front of him. "Ah! Oh?" The green-haired woman tilted her body to the left seeing Ichigo's friends staring at her wide-eyed. "You have visitors. Allow me to introduce myself, I'm—"

"O-Odelschwanck-san." Rukia croaked out. "I-I love your films!" Mizuiro could only nod his agreement.

"Well its always nice to meet fans." Smiling she leaned forward kissing both Rukia and Mizuiro on the cheek. She then kissed Uryū on the cheek too. "Ah, and—"

"I'm fine, thank you." Byakuya said earning a shrug from Nelliel.

"I-I'm Kuchiki Rukia." The teen in question began, "t-that's my brother Byakuya and—"

"I'm Kojima Mizuiro." The black-haired teen squeaked out.

"And I'm Ishida Uryū."

It wasn't often he saw his friends get starstruck, especially considering this was the first star they were introduced to. Ichigo was honestly surprised Mizuiro didn't turn up the charm on Nelliel but his shock must have been controlling him because he was still frozen in place. "So, Kurosaki-kun, did you meet Jaegerjaquez yet?" Ichigo shook his head not entirely sure if he even wanted to since everyone kept asking; however, he had to eventually if he was supposed to survive six months as his neighbor in order to get his free rent – then again not meeting him could be consider a cop out as he would be his neighbor and surviving not to mention it won't be violating the agreement chalking it up to their schedules not meeting up or some bull like that. But no, Ichigo didn't do anything half-assed and he was an honest guy so he'd put his big boy pants on and meet his neighbor whether he wanted to or not. "Well, I sort of have to ask him something so you're welcome to join me if you want?"

"Sure!" Rukia and Mizuiro said each grabbing one of Nelliel's arms. They both turned to Ichigo, "lets get a move on Kurosaki." They said in unison. Sighing, Ichigo nodded. It was due or die now. He didn't really have anything to lose anyway, aside from his sanity, so why the hell not?


	2. What the hell is with this place!?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its a good thing Ichigo embraces the thought of expecting the unexpected...

Rukia, Mizuiro, Byakuya, Uryū and a reluctant Ichigo all followed Nelliel to Grimmjow's apartment which wasn't far considering it was next door. As soon as the green-haired woman knocked on the door it opened. A brunet came out of the door staring at the group as he closed the door behind him. "Uh, Grimmjow's not in if you're looking for him."

"Damn, really?" Nelliel asked with a sigh. She turned to the group. "Sorry. Guess his scheduling is crazier than I thought."

"Hey, I don't mean to be rude but are you by chance living in 3-I?" The brunet asked and Ichigo nodded. "Oh! I am so sorry... I mean—  _no!_  That didn't come out right. Crap! I'm Asano Keigo." He said bowing. "I figured I should introduce myself first. It may not seem like it but I'm one of Grimmjow's friends. I live on the second floor; apartment 2-C to be precise. To be honest I was actually gunning for apartment 3-I when I first moved in but it was occupied by Cifer-san."

"You're babbling Asano-kun."

"W-Was I really?"

"This guy is Kurosaki Ichigo and these are his friends Kuchiki Rukia, Kuchiki Byakuya, Ishida Uryū and Kojima—"

"Mizuiro." The black-haired teen in question replied. "Its nice meeting you Asano-kun." Oh, now Mizuiro began flirting? His initial shock with meeting Nelliel must have worn off. Then again, he might have been more interested in this guy than Nelliel to turn on the charm during their first meeting.

"So, what did you guys want with Grimmjow?"

"Kurosaki-kun hasn't met him yet." Eyes widening, Keigo glanced at Ichigo. "Yup. So I figured I'd save him the trouble and help out but I guess I can't. Now I gotta get to work. Always a pleasure Kurosaki-kun, later Asano-kun. Nice meeting the rest of you~" The group watched Nelliel walk down the stairs.

"So... Asano-kun, are you busy? We were gonna hang out in Ichigo's place."

"I—"

"Oh! I almost forgot!" Nelliel began reappearing, "Ayasegawa said if anyone entered Kurosaki-kun's apartment before he officially got invited in he'd gut them like a fish. Bye~" She merrily left.

"Uh, I'm afraid I'm going to have to decline your invitation this time but lets take a rain check. I'll see you guys around, nice meeting all of you." Keigo waved as he walked off down the stairs.

"He was nice." Ichigo shook his head, "apartment 2-C huh? I think I need to visit you more often Ichigo."

"You always were into the scrawny type." Uryū said adjusting his glasses.

"And you were always into the unobtainable types." Mizuiro countered smirking as Uryū glared at him. "What? An eye for an eye Ishida-kun."

"I didn't bring you two here to argue." They both sighed staring at Ichigo. "You saw my place now kindly go the hell home so I can study and do some homework."

"Are you sure that's what you want to do Ichigo? Your neighbors seem really friendly~" Rukia grinned at him. "And you were always getting friendly with the neighbors." Ichigo stared at the black-haired teen waggling her eyebrows.

"Now now Rukia-chan, we shouldn't tease Ichigo." Uryū said adjusting his glasses once more. "Besides, I bet he won't even do anything no matter how hard they come onto him." The bespectacled teen shrugged, "lets just focus on studying now."

"What? I never said anything about a group study session. Go to your own homes!"

"But Ichigo... we're already here." Mizuiro, Rukia and Uryū said in unison as they walked into apartment 3-I.

Ichigo sighed watching Byakuya enter the apartment next, "fine!" Ichigo walked inside closing the door behind him. "We'll study together then once we're done get the hell out and go to your own places of residency."

"Damn Ichigo, you sound like a broken record." Rukia said sighing. "So, exactly how much did you say a room costs? I might think about moving here, huh nīsan?"

"Out of the question." Was the reply the otherwise silent Byakuya gave her. Rukia couldn't help but pout at that response. She expected him to say no but 'out of the question?'

"Well my lease is almost up." Uryū said, "but I'm not sure I want to live in the same building as Ichigo... again."

"That's right." Mizuiro stated nodding. "You lived in that fancy apartment building when you were three... before the clinic opened. You know, I may not live on my own but I'm lucky to have three friends with places of their own~"

"Yeah, well you're about to be banned from one."

"Oh come on Ichigo, don't be like that." Mizuiro chuckled, "say what time is it? I'm hungry."

"Oh shit!" Uryū exclaimed. "I promised my grandfather I'd come home for dinner tonight."

"Ah!" Rukia gasped. "We told dad we'd have dinner at the house too!"

"How did you manage to promise the same thing for the same night... again?" Rukia and Uryū exchanged glances before turning to Ichigo shrugging. "Well I'd hate to interrupt family time so don't mind me. I'll get by somehow." The group dispersed going to their homes leaving Ichigo to enjoy the emptiness of his new apartment. He thought of visiting his parents but by the time he would get there dinner would be over as it was 6pm now. Maybe he'd visit them in the morning or the afternoon? Ah what the hell. Knowing them they would be expecting him to come over then they would somehow convince him to stay the night.

— — — —

So approximately two hours and thirty-seven minutes later, Ichigo found himself standing in front of the Kurosaki clinic – his former place of residence before moving out yesterday afternoon. There was no point in getting sentimental since he hadn't been gone for long; it was about twenty five hours or so. As soon as Ichigo put one foot into the house his sisters tackled him against the doorway. "Aniki! Nīsan!" They greeted simultaneously.

"Is that Ichigo?" An apron clad Isshin asked coming into the hall. "Masaki, you owe me ¥2300~. You're just in time for dinner son. Yuzu, Karin let go of your brother and wash your hands." Dejectedly, the twins complied releasing their brother and walking off.

"Why are you so calm dad?" Ichigo asked toeing off his shoes and fully stepping into the house. "You're usually the first to greet me." And by greet Ichigo meant attack. His father had this unusual and annoying habit of attacking him whenever he stepped foot into the house.

"I'm busy in the kitchen, not that I'm not happy to see my growing boy who lives by himself." Ichigo sighed. "How was school?"

"Good I guess."

"Ichigo." Masaki walked into the hall putting an arm around her husband's shoulder. "You're just in time for dinner honey; your father cooked today. I told him you probably wouldn't stop by but he assured me that you would and here you are." She kissed her husband on the cheek. "I'll get the money after dinner."

"You two seriously bet if I'd show up or not?" They nodded hugging one another. Ichigo remained expressionless as his parents cooed at one another. Even after twenty-four years his parents were still madly and openly in love/affectionate with one another. The orange-haired male supposed that was good since most married couples couldn't stand one another mere weeks into their commitment but not his parents – they went on as if they were dating and not married for about half their lives; in fact, most said their PDA was often nauseating at times. Ichigo had no idea how many years they were truly together but his mother told him they were married four years before he was born.

"Hey nīsan." Yuzu said coming out of the kitchen, "can we go to your place again? You know, now that you've settled in?"

Karin locked her hands behind her head coming out of the kitchen as well. "Basically we all, well all of us except mom, saw this hot blue-haired guy and we kinda want to see him again."

"Karin!" Yuzu exclaimed blushing furiously.

"What? Don't get all embarrassed now, its the truth. Just ask the old man if you don't believe us aniki." Ichigo turned to his father who was nodding. "So, long story short, when is it?"

Ichigo frowned slightly. "What apartment did he come out of?"

"The one next to yours... on the right. I think it was 3-J if I'm not mistaken." Isshin replied nodding once more. Resisting the urge to facepalm, Ichigo's frown deepened. So they saw Grimmjow before he did. Ichigo wasn't certain if it was a good or bad thing. Everyone only warned him about his neighbor's odd quirks but not one person spoke of his appearance but his family seemed to be smitten with it if they were raring to go and see him again. But he couldn't bring them over to see him if they never met before, that would just be weird.

"Alright, alright." Masaki said clapping her hands together. "We can ask Ichigo all about this man I've never seen after we eat."

"Don't feel too bad mom, I haven't seen him yet either." The twins gasped.

"I hope we're not going to be eating dinner with Ichigo every night. It would defeat the purpose of him leaving."

"Of course not." Masaki exclaimed slapping her husband on the back. "You were the one that knew he'd come over tonight. Besides, Ichigo might be busy with classes but dinner at least once every week is a must." Ichigo sighed. "Oh! I'm guessing tonight is that 'once a week.'"

"Honey, even once a week might be too much." Isshin straightened up as Masaki glared at him. "I-I mean, he is going to be twenty in a month."

"What are you implying Isshin?" Masaki asked folding her arms over her chest. It was one of those rare times that the brunette called her husband by his given name and not one of their many adorable pet names, in short it meant she was on the verge of being pissed at him.

"I-I'm not implying anything but we don't want to butt in on—"

"On what? Are you filling my baby's head with strange ideas just because he lives alone?!"

"O-Of course not pudding! I'm just saying he's almost legal and—" Masaki fixed him with a glare that effectively shut him up. Ichigo sighed. He understood what his father was trying to do but the poor man was just digging a deeper hole he couldn't possibly get out of, plus the man was virtually powerless against his wife. Despite their intense physical altercations, Ichigo was quite close to his father. Sure, growing up he was closer to his mother being known as a mama's boy but the older he got the closer he and his father became. As the only other male in the vicinity Isshin and Ichigo spoke about things that Ichigo couldn't possibly talk to his mother about. They had the sex talk and Ichigo told his father of the his first time and while Isshin did freak out and even cry a little the incident brought them closer together. Masaki would undoubtedly flip her lid knowing her son was sexually active and bisexually active to boot. Though Ichigo had to wonder if she truly didn't know or if she was feigning innocence – denial appeared to be a parent's best defense after all.

"Enough with this subject, lets enjoy some dessert that your father made." The twins cheered. After every dinner in the Kurosaki home, with this one being no exception, they played a few games then watched a little television while talking about their days. All in all, it was fun just like always – the only difference being Ichigo left instead of heading to his room. While his mother told him he could just sleep over whenever he figured that would defeat the purpose of him moving out in the first place and just what was that purpose exactly? Ichigo loved his family dearly and as much as he didn't want to be away from them and all their craziness and extreme doting he had to assert his independence not only because he was almost twenty but because he had two successful parents. Everyone automatically assumed he was riding the coattails of his parents success and was practically incapable of doing a damn thing for himself. Well Ichigo wasn't just some well-off borderline rich kid that couldn't fend for himself. He got into his school based on his intellect and not his parents influence.

The train ride back to his apartment seemed longer than usual with its emptiness. It was around midnight when Ichigo tiredly slunk into his apartment. While inside he kicked his shoes off then hastily undressed down to his boxers before falling weightlessly onto his futon.

— — — —

Ichigo awoke to a loud explosion that had him bolt upright and look around in mild delirium. This was the second day in a row he received a less than normal and quite frankly unwelcome awakening – what was the purpose of having an alarm if he kept waking up before it?! Furrowing his eyebrows he took off his alarm that was set to go off in a half hour.

The clock read six thirty so Ichigo stretched and yawned intent on starting with his day but froze when he heard the door of the apartment next to his open then slam shut. Before he could try to figure out which side the noise came from he heard several more doors open then close.

For fuck's sake the walls in this place couldn't be that thin, could they? Ichigo frowned; perhaps the neighbors were just too damn loud? "What the fuck was that noise!?" He heard someone yell followed by several heavy footsteps that signaled multiple people in the area.

"Oh shit, you blew up your apartment again and another one!?" Another voice called out and Ichigo's eyes widened. This happened before? And another apartment blew up too?

"I think you startled the entire third floor with that explosion." A third, unfamiliar voice said.

"Fuck the floor, the entire building heard that shit!"

"Would you lot shut up!" Another voice, a bit angrier than the rest, yelled as yet another door opened then closed. "Shit, ya alright Grimm?"

"Super-fucking-duper."

"How are you going to pay for damaging my wall Jaegerjaquez?" Ichigo's eyebrows furrowed as he finally recognized someone's voice. It was too much to try and keep up with everyone just by the sound of their voice especially when he only recognized one voice so far. There was a window beside the door in his apartment so Ichigo crawled over to the windowsill and looked up trying to see what the hell was going on out there. He couldn't help but feel like some kind of prowler staring at all these people hanging outside his apartment but he couldn't think of any other way to see them without exposing his half-dressed body on such short notice. Besides, what the hell were they doing hanging out directly in front of his apartment anyway!?

Ichigo peered up seeing nothing but pants covered legs except for one pair of short-clad tanned legs. "I'll figure somethin' out... lets just crash with Gilga until then?"

"Did he even hear anything? His door didn't open."

"Let me stay with you."

"Fuck no, just stay at Cifer's old place—"

"Uh, that's not possible I'm afraid." That sounded like Yumichika's voice. Ichigo saw the black-haired man leaning against the scorched railing frowning. "I don't even want to know how you got in there before but someone lives there now."

"What?! Someone lives in 3-I?!" Was the collective question at least four separate people asked.

"So you mean to tell me that fucker had the nerve to apartment block me then he just up and leaves? I'll break his fucking neck next time I see him."

"Why wait, he lives three floors up." Abirama said coming into Ichigo's line of sight. "But on the subject of the newbie, he's pretty easy on the eyes. Saw him briefly a few days ago. Got one hell of a body too."

There was a brief, unsettling silence before someone chimed in. "Ah, that's right! He was half naked when we saw him."

"Is this guy another Grimmjow, answering the door half naked?"

"Hey, I don't mind. Clothes are overrated anyway."

"I'm staying with Asano until you fix my shit." Ichigo saw the tiny white-haired teen, who was perfectly visible at that angle due to his height, walk past a couple of people still standing in front of his apartment.

"Are you gonna tell Zaraki-san about this?" Yumichika asked pushing himself off the railing.

"Before you do that let me see what happened in there." Abirama said then he and apparently everyone else standing in the hall entered the apartment briefly then came out. "Damn! How the fuck did that happen!?"

Ichigo saw several people disperse in front of his apartment when suddenly a plaid pants covered ass leaned against his window. He recognized those pants – they were the same ones Hitsugaya had one when they first met but the white-haired teen left, probably, so perhaps they belonged to someone else who attended Hōgyoku High School? No matter, Ichigo never refused looking at an ass so graciously placed before him and he wasn't about to start now so he stared eying its shifting along with its owner's legs. A pair of legs were coming closer to the window and another ass rested itself on his window. Two for the price of one. Damn, Ichigo was more of a pervert than he would ever care to admit. His father had more of an influence on him than he realized. "Its not even seven, should we be bothering Zaraki-san so early? Last time I knocked on his door before eight he pointed a sword at my throat. I mean, is that even legal?"

"Hell yeah, its legit and everything. Even if it wasn't he's the fucking owner so what could you do about it? Now I don't wanna get a sword in my gut so I'll take care of it after school, get Gilga's ass over here. I need to crash with him until everything is fixed."

"What? I'm not your fucking secretary, get Gilga yourself. I'm heading back to bed although there is no fucking point now so thank you very much Jaegerjaquez."

"Anytime Redder~" Ichigo saw Abirama walking off as a different pair of legs appeared approaching the two pairs on the window. "Sup."

"You tell me." Ichigo's eyebrows furrowed. He recognized Nelliel's voice easily now that not that many people were around, also he was used to hearing it but that was neither here nor there. "Blowing up apartments and whatnot."

"Don't start with me Odelschwanck. I'm technically homeless and I need that shitdick to let me stay with him."

"Who? If you need help convincing them I'll help. I'm very good at it."

"I'll bet you are, the moron's at the end of the hall in 3-N."

"Aye aye." Nelliel's legs disappeared to the right.

"If for whatever reason he says no, you'll let me crash at your place for a few days right? Damn dude, don't glare! Its only a few days."

"I can't believe you resorted to having pretty girls ask me for favors Jaegerjaquez, that's low." Ichigo saw more plaid legs approaching his window. "How many days?"

"Don't act all high and mighty, you would have done the same thing." One of the asses slid over so the third one could sit on the window. "I'll let you assess the damage later but it shouldn't be more than a week. Beansprout's crashing with Asano in the meantime."

"Shit, you destroyed  _his_ apartment too? You know you're gonna get one hell of a fee for this right? I'll let you stay for as long as you need, after all that's what friends do and I can't ask you for any favors since I owed you a bunch. You're fucking lucky. I'm heading off first, later." Then the third ass got off the window.

"Later Gilga."

"Yeah, see ya."

"Hey, you didn't say no because you knew he'd say yes did you?"

"No, I don't want you crashing at my apartment."

"Fuck you dude. That's no way to treat a friend in need."

"Speaking of friends... why didn't you just stay with your best friend?"

"Don't you think I would have asked him if he were here? And he took my key so I can't get in. You know, he even said if I damage my apartment don't expect to stay in his."

"He foreshadowed you fucking up your apartment?"

"Sooo..." Nelliel's legs reappeared. "You're staying with him? He seems nice."

"This is a joke, right? I know you're a porn star but ya gotta have better standards than that Superstar."

"S-Shut up!" Nelliel sat on the window moving the other pairs over. "Will you introduce me to him?"

"Uh... you just met? Why didn't you introduce yourself then?"

"It would be in bad taste asshole! We're all concerned about your stupid apartment and whatever to socialize. Shit. Learn to read the mood!"

"Alright, alright. You're lucky I like you so much Duchess—"

"Stop using my AV names!"

"I'll use what I want. I will  _properly_  introduce you to Gilga so he can fuck your brains out for free, happy?"

"Yup!" Nelliel's legs, at the left of the window, sprang up. "Thanks Grimm. If your friend kicks you out you can stay with me for a few days. Later guys~"

"Bye bye. Hey, if I can't stay can I at least use your shower?"

"Whatever." The two asses got off the window and started walking toward the left. Once everything was silent, Ichigo slumped down below the window sighing. He couldn't see anything clearly and he was even more confused about what the hell was going on. Because he couldn't see any faces he couldn't match anyone's voices. Oh well, he had to worry about getting to school now.

— — — —

As Ichigo was returning to his apartment his eyes widened, walking down the stairs was a familiar face. "Ichigo?" Before he had time to react, Ichigo got a gym bag to the gut. Yup. It was definitely who he thought it was. "You must be out of practice if a few measly weights leave you winded." The black-haired teen said patting him on the back.

"Tatsuki..." He wheezed. What kind of maniac slung something so damn heavy over their shoulder like it was nothing? Oh right,  _this_  maniac! While trying to regain his composure, Ichigo looked up at his childhood friend that he hadn't seen in a good eight years – or almost eight years. She hadn't changed that much but she definitely got taller and Ichigo didn't think it was possible but she seemed a bit more muscular as well. Tatsuki also got curvier but that wasn't a productive area to think about right now. Arisawa Tatsuki was one of Ichigo's best friends growing up and she was the only person who could effortlessly kick his ass. Ichigo had countless pictures of the two of them together making stupid faces with Uryū who would look as miserable as usual and their other friend Chad who Ichigo also hadn't seen in a while.

Ichigo met Tatsuki in karate class when they were four-years-old; she beat him up during their first match then subsequently and consistently beat him every match after that for the next three years. Ichigo had no problem fighting a girl but he kept losing because she didn't fight like a girl – she fought like a machine; a highly precise,  _deadly_ machine. In the four years they were together taking karate Ichigo never measured up to the slightly younger girl but he could say with each match they had he got closer and closer to defeating her... he could say it though he wasn't entirely sure if it were true or not. After all, Tatsuki turned out to be the only six-year-old that could beat up students twice her age and then some; the fact that she was a girl made the situation far worse.

Halfway through their first year of junior high Tatsuki's family moved away and Ichigo never saw her again until now. He glanced up once again at her signature grin. "Your head looks like a spiky pumpkin from this angle." She tilted her head and Ichigo finally stood rubbing his stomach which was sure to be sore a little later. "Don't tell me  _you_  are the new tenant everyone is losing their pants over." It was refreshing to know she was still as frank as ever too.

"Good to see you too." They shared a brief, friendly hug until Tatsuki punched him in the arm. "What the hell did you to that for?"

"I feel like I should punch you in the face! Did you even try to contact me for the last eight years?"

"Of course I did!" Blushing, Ichigo cleared his throat. There was really no reason to tell her how badly he missed her, in fact there wasn't even a reason to think about it. "W-What about you?"

"I tried but after I couldn't get through I just stopped." She huffed, "well I did get that free hit in so I feel a little better." She said with a shrug, "what's up with you? Still training?"

"Not as much as you are apparently. What's with the uniform?" Ichigo looked over the plaid skirt she was wearing and the partially buttoned up shirt. But he managed to keep his eyes on her chest for a second or two before moving them to somewhere else that wouldn't get him punched... again.

"I go to Hōgyoku University, everyone wears uniforms." She sighed, "what about you? Following your parents alum into Karakura?" Ichigo nodded. "You always were a parents wet dream." She shook her head. "I was on my way to the batting cages to get in a few swings  _but_  I feel the need to fight seeing you." A hand came to rest on Tatsuki's shoulder and Ichigo's eyes widened. Tatsuki looked up somewhat annoyed at—

"Chad? You live here too?"

"Ichigo? Long time no see." Ichigo grinned. He'd seen Chad around campus last year but their schedules never matched up so there wasn't any way for them to hang out. "Well, I guess it hasn't been that long. Considering you haven't seen Tatsuki-kun in eight years." The black-haired teen folded her arms over her chest. The only person who would know about Chad and Tatsuki would be Uryū and Ichigo had the feeling the bespectacled teen wouldn't really care all that much. He was fond of Chad but he was terrified of Tatsuki... but most rational minded people, Ichigo included, were terrified of Tatsuki's raw power and hair-trigger temper. Chad glanced at Tatsuki rearranging the bag putting it on her other shoulder. "Were you heading to the batting cages?"

"I was but I bumped into a road block." She looked Ichigo over with an unreadable expression. "You look good Kurosaki, if it weren't for your bright ass hair I wouldn't have recognized you. I think I'll head to the batting cages now. Catch you later."

"Yeah..." Ichigo frowned watching her walk down the stairs.

"Ichigo." He glanced at the brunet. "You're not just going to let her go... are you? You were kicking yourself last time she left and you didn't get to say goodbye."

Ichigo had to tear his eyes away from the scene. The sight of Tatsuki leaving had become something of a reoccurring nightmare for him but if she lived around here – or even in this building – she wouldn't be leaving and not coming back. "Must you bring that up now?" He groaned. "She's obviously still pissed, if I try and talk to her I'll end up with something broken. I...I'll give her time to cool down." Said cool down time would also be good for Ichigo to but for a different reason. He wasn't satisfied with one punch and a weak, half-assed hug when the two of them had constant physical interactions over the years.

"Well, in case you're interested. The batting cages are a block down the street from here." Ichigo gaped at him. "Zaraki-san said this place was accessible to almost everything a person might need."

"I just need to lie down. Class was exhausting." Chad patted him on the back before walking down the stairs. With a sigh, Ichigo reached the third floor and froze when he saw the landlord coming out of an apartment.

"Kid, I don't even  _want_  to know what you did in there." Ichigo remained immobile as a blue-haired guy came out of the apartment as well scratching the back of his neck. "I can get someone to fix it tomorrow but it still won't be livable for a few days. It all depends on the drying time, I suggest you take out anything valuable you might have." The blue-haired guy nodded. "You can always get a temporary apartment that you will not be destroying or just share a room with someone."

"Gilga's already given me the okay to stay with him." He put both arms behind his head, "how much is the damage?"

"A lot." There was a heavy sigh as a response but Kenpachi continued, "I'll get the estimate." He glanced over at Ichigo. "Good to see you kid, adjusting okay?"

The blue-haired guy's equally blue eyes focused on him. If they were standing outside the apartment next to his this must be the troublesome tenant of 3-J. Ichigo nodded seeing no other option then to head to his apartment. "Allow me to introduce you two. This is Kurosaki Ichigo, he moved in here – what – three days ago? Ichigo, this is Jaegerjaquez Grimmjow." The blue-haired male saluted. Okay, so he didn't seem as bad as everyone said but this was only their first meeting. Ichigo noticed Grimmjow was also wearing those damn plaid pants everyone else seemed to be wearing – but it was probably Grimmjow hanging outside of his door this morning but who was he with? Oh right, a bunch of other people Ichigo didn't know.

"Ichi—oh!" Ichigo suddenly felt a weight on his shoulders and he saw Nelliel's beaming face as her chin was rested on his clavicle and her hands on his shoulders. "Hi Zaraki-san!" She chirped. "I got a new movie out for ya~" One of her hands removed its self from Ichigo's shoulder and she produced a DVD case swinging it in her hands. Kenpachi nodded taking it from her. "Boss says its on the house since you house one of her best employees. She said she's stopping by to see you."

"Good. I need to talk to her about something. Take care of yourselves."

"How are you Ichigo?" He couldn't help but blush feeling Nelliel's breasts pressed against his back. He was all for friendliness but for him to get an erection in the middle of the hall was not something he wished to experience.

"I'm good." He squeaked cursing himself. Ichigo glanced at Grimmjow who was smirking.

"So three days, huh? I haven't been around much so I didn't notice." He nodded to himself. At this point, Nelliel had wrapped her arms around Ichigo's shoulders. "I thought you wanted Gilga?"

"I can want more than one person at once!" She swore lowly, "that didn't come out the way I meant! Dammit, stop leering like that! Hey Ichigo, wanna see a movie with me? I promise everyone is fully clothed and I am not one of the actors." Nelliel looked Grimmjow over with a frown, "you can come too if you want."

"Love to but I gotta work." He closed the door to his apartment twirling the key between his fingers. "Nice meeting ya Ichigo." Then he stared walking until he reached the end of the hall banging on the door.

As he heard Nelliel make some kind of noise he turned to her, "so... about the movie?"

"I'm actually kinda tired but we can see one tomorrow."

"Hell yeah!" She cheered releasing him. "I am so looking forward to it." The green-haired woman merrily walked off to her apartment; she blew a kiss at Ichigo before walking inside. Chuckling, Ichigo went in his apartment too.

— — — —

_[Countdown begins]_

_Days until free rent: 184..._

Chocolate eyes snapped open at the incessant chiming of his doorbell. It was Saturday so he didn't have his alarm on. Ichigo looked around spotting the clock that red 1:37pm. At least there weren't any more explosions or doors slamming. Yesterday, his history class was redirected three times within the span of its forty five minute class time; if that wasn't enough everyone had to stay after an extra half hour high school detention style to make sure their daily lesson was learned. To top all that off, Ichigo had to go to five different labs to submit an assignment since the first four labs he visited were either filled up or broken. It wasn't any surprise he was too tired to see a movie with a porn star who not so subtly had a thing for him. But he'd make it up to her, she sounded so damn happy.

With a tired groan, he sluggishly got out of bed and opened the door. "O-Oh! You're not Cifer-san. I'm so so sorry." The brunette twiddled her thumbs. "I— this is awkward; I'm Inoue Orihime." She bowed timidly. "I have a delivery for Cifer-san who I guess no longer lives here?" Ichigo kept hearing about this Cifer person but he had no idea where he was now. The only thing he did know was that he used to live here but moved to another apartment.

"I'll take that Inoue~" The woman gasped as the package in her hands was taken. She blushed as a short black-haired man tip-toed to kiss her on the cheek. "You look good in that uniform by the way. I heard Cifer relocated so I'll make sure this bad boy gets in his pretty little hands."

"Vega-kun." Regaining her composure, Orihime snatched the package back smiling seemingly innocently at him. "I don't know what other delivery companies you or Redder-kun have conned but I won't be tricked so easily." The black-haired man chuckled.

"Damn, that defiant attitude of yours is such a fucking turn on." Orihime's blush deepened as the black-haired man kissed her on the mouth. "Cifer's a lucky fucker; I'll be seeing ya around Ori-hi-me-chan~"

Ichigo and a blushing Orihime watched the man walk off. "S-So..." The brunette turned to him clearing her throat. "I'm guessing you don't know where or rather  _who_  Cifer-san is? Well..."

"Inoue." Orihime straightened up slowly turning to her left. Ichigo saw a black-haired guy walk up to the brunette extending his hand. Chuckling, Orihime gave him the package. Instead of stamping it he kissed her on the cheek. Ichigo wasn't too familiar with the brunette's delivery company so perhaps that was acceptable since two people now kissed her on the cheek. Or maybe that was the norm since they seemed so familiar with her? "I thought you should know I'm in apartment 6-L now." Orihime blushed nodding. "Who is this?"

"Huh? Uh, I don't know. I did all the talking."

Realizing both of them were now looking at him, Ichigo pointed to himself then bowed. "I'm Kurosaki Ichigo."

"R-Right, I'm Inoue Orihime." She bowed. "Wait... I already introduced myself, didn't I? This is my boyfriend Cifer Ulquiorra-kun. He used to live here but I'm sure someone already told you that." Ulquiorra bowed.

"So... you live next door to Jaegerjaquez?" He shook his head tsking, "My apologies but I wouldn't worry too much you'll be out of there soon enough."

"Are you implying that I can't handle it?"

Ulquiorra blinked – if he was surprised by Ichigo's comment he sure as hell didn't look like it, "are you implying that you  _can_?" Orihime looked between the two men frowning. "Let me tell you something, Kurosaki-kun, you can act tough all you want but when it comes to Jaegerjaquez the only sensible resolution is to ignore him. If you try and confront him you'll only get swept in his pace. How long have you been living here?"

"This'll be the fourth day."

"Hmmm and have you met Jaegerjaquez?"

"Yesterday but it was brief."

Ichigo's eyes narrowed as Ulquiorra looked him over. "If you think you can handle him by all means but just don't say I didn't warn you." He pulled a card out of thin air giving it to Orihime. "This is my address change form." Orihime fumbled with the card in her hands. "Kurosaki, in case you wise up the sixth and seventh floors have several rooms available. Also, if you're in a bind without an escape throw peanuts in his face."

"B-But Ulquiorra-kun—" Orihime yelped as Ulquiorra dragged her off. "Bye Kurosaki-san! Nice meeting you!" That was quite an unusual couple if Ichigo ever saw one. Poor Orihime seemed a bit too submissive but perhaps there was more to her boyfriend than what was on the surface? Whatever. Who the hell did that guy think he was just assuming Ichigo couldn't handle it? Then again he was the former tenant so he probably knew what he was talking about. Still, Ichigo would prove this was nothing. A year of free rent was riding on this! Ichigo closed the door glancing at the bag of peanuts on the dresser. Ulquiorra was the second person to mention peanuts and Grimmjow in the same sentence – neither he nor Redder seemed all that fond of him but Redder was talking to him yesterday morning. Ichigo shrugged, he'd worry more about this whole thing later.

— — — —

At the obnoxious blaring of his alarm, Ichigo slowly opened his eyes then frowned. He had no idea when he fell asleep but he was a bit surprised that it was his alarm waking him up today. Wait, why would he need an alarm on a Sunday? Ichigo reached for the phone under his pillow and his eyebrows furrowed. "Today's Monday?"

_Days until free rent: 182..._

Ichigo sat up searching through the long list of missed calls from yesterday and Saturday afternoon; most of them, as expected were from his family, and the rest were from his friends. After meeting Ulquiorra and Orihime he didn't remember doing anything else except showering and eating; aside from going to the movies with Nelliel and that was pretty fun. But after he got back he didn't remember doing anything else. Perhaps he fell asleep early... but to sleep through an entire day? He couldn't have been that tired, could he?The last time he did that was his last year of high school during their senior cut day. Nevertheless, he was grateful for the sleep because he had this nagging feeling that he was going to need to be well rested today.

Upon realizing he didn't have any class today, he shut the alarm off with a frustrated sigh but he really didn't need to get any more sleep anytime soon. Yawning, Ichigo stretched climbing out of his tangled futon sheets popping various joints back into place. Since the post office took several days to fix an address with the whole address change forms any letters he would receive would probably be at home. Putting his cellphone on the futon, he ventured to the bathroom to begin his daily hygienic routine. Once he finished, a towel clad Ichigo came out of the bathroom refreshed. Grabbing a water out of the fridge the doorbell rang.

Ichigo went to the door opening it. Yumichika was on the other side blushing furiously attempting to keep his eyes above waist length. "S-So you're okay?" He said clearing his throat. "Your family came yesterday as well as some other neighbors trying to welcome you."

That must have been the reason for all the missed calls. "Sorry, I was asleep."

"For a whole day?" Ichigo nodded rubbing the back of his neck then using the same hand to catch the top of the towel that was sliding down. Yumichika's eyes widened and he gulped loudly. If it was physically possible for someone to spontaneously catch a nosebleed for wayward and perverted thoughts he would have. Instead he felt the confines of his pants becoming too tight for his liking. At least he no longer had to question whether Ichigo's hair color was natural. "Y-Yeah, so I-I just came to check up on you... now that I did I'll be going." Nodding to Ichigo, Yumichika mechanically turned to his left walking away.

Shrugging, Ichigo closed his door. But didn't get the chance to move as someone knocked on his door. "Hey kid, you alright in there?" Recognizing Kenpachi's voice, Ichigo opened the door slightly.

"Is this him?" He looked down at the pink-haired girl beaming at him. "This is the new guy? Hiya. Zaraki Yachiru-chin at your service desu." She bowed.

Ichigo blinked at the small girl smiling before he bowed. "Sorry 'bout that." Kenpachi patted the now pouting girl's head. "Anyway, got a lot of concern over you yesterday; a bunch of tenants thought you moved out, a few even figured you died in your apartment but I'm glad to see you're alright. I stopped by yesterday after way too many requests but you weren't moving so I called a doctor to take a look. Once he confirmed you were still alive I figured you just needed a flop day or something."

"Uh, thanks?"

"No problem. By the way, you're a student – like a college student right?" Ichigo nodded slowly. "At Hōgyoku University?"

"Hōgyoku! Hōgyoku!" Yachiru squealed jumping up and down. "Mayurin works there!"

Ichigo didn't even want to know who this 'Mayurin' person was. "A-Actually, I go to Karakura University." Yachiru ceased jumping and stared at him. "Why?"

"Just curious; I was a Hōgyoku student myself. I remember Shihōin saying something about you being a university student but I couldn't remember what school. Anyway, Karakura isn't too far from here just a train ride away – same for Hōgyoku only its in the opposite direction. Now, not that I'm not enjoying the fanservice why are you in a towel?"

Ichigo looked down at Yachiru poking his bare leg. "I just came out of the shower..."

"So, what's your name?" She asked while she still poked him. "Did I tell ya my name is Yachiru?"

"Yeah, I'm Ichigo."

The orange-haired male flinched as pink eyes widened. "Ichi~! Or better yet, Strawberry~" Ichigo's jaw dropped. His junior high nickname was strawberry not only because that's what his name meant but because of his unusual hair color.

"More like an orange berry than strawberry Yachiru." The pink-haired girl tapped her chin briefly before nodding.

"Uh, I thought Hōgyoku was a high school?" No, Tatsuki did say something about Hōgyoku being a university too but truthfully he really wasn't paying attention to what Tatsuki was saying because he was overcome just seeing here.

"Its both. Their university is in conjunction with their senior and junior high school but you can transfer in at anytime. Now, due to your comatose state yesterday your parents contacted me requesting a key. I wasn't around when they came by so I couldn't let them in. Anyway, I figured I should run that by you first before I distribute access into your apartment. I may own the joint but like I said I respect my tenants privacy and shit. So, is it okay to give them a key?"

"Yeah, you can give them a key."

"Singular?" Ichigo nodded. There was no discussion of a key when he visited them but if they came over and was unable to enter then they would obviously want a key. "Right. Actually, I believe I'll let you take care of that." The black-haired man dug into his pocket and pulled out a duplicate key to this apartment putting it in the teen's hand. "Hate to get involved in family squabbles. Come on Yachiru."

"Bye Orangeberry!" Ichigo's right eye twitched yet he waved at the little girl following Kenpachi out of the apartment. Great, he could just feel that nickname sticking.

"That reminds me..." Kenpachi looked over his shoulder at Ichigo standing in the doorway. "How are things? You know, with our terms? I was there when you two met so... anything since? Oh, of course not with you being unresponsive yesterday." He was so going to get chewed out by his parents, particularly his father.

"Ken-chan, what are you talking about over there?"

"Nothing, go downstairs." Sighing heavily, Yachiru reluctantly complied stomping down the middle staircase. Ichigo gulped as Kenpachi returned his attention to him. "If memory serves you've been living here six days if we include when you moved in, right?" Ichigo nodded slowly. "Yeah and your six months started two days ago since that was when you met. Now, I don't wanna push anything but you gotta interact with him more." Ichigo paled slightly. Grimmjow didn't seem that bad but he wasn't going to push his luck here. "You're the first new tenant since Grimmjow arrived. As I said before some people left but no one has even attempted to move in. You know how they have those apartment tours?" Ichigo nodded. "Well, I've had a few but no one wanted to live here after meeting him or hearing about him. He's been here for almost three weeks and that's about when the complaints started." So this guy wasn't even here a full month and he caused so many people to move out? But that, in turn, explained why everyone was so surprised to have someone move in then subsequently wanted to meet/greet this brave individual to move next door. They probably wanted to meet him before he moved out. Ichigo definitely had his work cut out for him. "Whenever you wanna bail just let me know."

"Trust me, Zaraki-san, I'm not going anywhere." The black-haired man smirked nodding.

"I knew I saw something in you kid. Good luck." As Kenpachi left Ichigo closed the front door. It was easy to  _say_  he would stay but it was an entirely different thing to do it. Ichigo sighed glancing at the key in his hands. He probably had to give this to his parents but he really didn't want to take another trip on the damn train. Maybe he could mail it to them? No, his mother would throw a fit. Sighing, Ichigo resigned to his fate knowing he  _had_  to personally deliver the key. Fuck it all, he really was a parents wet dream.

The doorbell rang and he scowled opening it taken aback seeing his father smiling and waving. "Dad?"

"Why are you only in a towel?" Before he could answer his father pushed him inside closing the door behind him. "You are so lucky your mother isn't here right now!"

"Dad, calm down. I finished showering – that's all." The black-haired man sighed in relief.

"So you haven't had any dates or brought any friends over?" Ichigo shook his head. "Well what are you waiting for? You're a man living on your own! This is the perfect time to sow your wild oats."

"I don't even know what that means..."

"You know, as I was coming in here I saw Tatsuki-chan." Isshin sighed breathlessly, "she was always a cutie but she's grown into a damn fine looking woman."

"You realize you are married with three children and that she's  _at least_  half your age, right?" Isshin waved him off, "do... do you even check other people out? With you and mom being so damn lovey-dovey all the time."

"I have eyes son, I glance at whatever I'm able to but I'm not going to leave your mother for a hot piece of ass."

"Ewww... dad, really?" Ichigo groaned. He did not need to hear those words coming out of his father's mouth, ever.

"What? I'm sure your mother deals with attractive people all the time. She even tells me." Ichigo frowned. His mother was stupidly oblivious when it came to other people's advances. "Back to you, you haven't had a single tussle in the sheets in six days?"

"Okay, unlike you I don't need to have sex daily." Isshin shook his head. As much as Ichigo did not want to know this – as any child – but his parents had an insane sex life. Ichigo mentally shuddered violently. That... he didn't even want to go there.

"You're a Kurosaki, aren't you? Your sex drive was built in!" Ichigo grimaced. "Make all the faces you want." Isshin sighed as Ichigo's grimace deepened. "You mean to tell me there wasn't a single individual you found attractive moving in here?"

"I never said that!" Ichigo snapped. "You're exhausting. I've seen several attractive people but I'm not just gonna proposition them!"

"Well why not?" Ichigo facepalmed. "Fine. Don't tell me." He handed several letters to his son, "your mail." Ichigo wordlessly handed the key over to him. "I'll keep this, no reason to have your mother wandering over..." He looked Ichigo over, "especially if you walk around in only a towel." Groaning, Ichigo walked over to his drawer pulling out a pair of boxers then slipped them on under his towel. "You don't have anything I haven't already seen being a doctor and your father." Ichigo glared at his old man as he was putting pants on. "Besides, you used to do this at home I see no reason to change it. You have a great body too why bother hiding it."

Ichigo eyed his father suspiciously, "did you get yourself in trouble again?"

"No. Your sisters and mother are doing...  _things_ and I have no idea where I would fit in. I feel so left out! I'm the odd man out now with you living on your own..." Ichigo sighed as his father teared up. "Sorry. I don't know whether I should be happy or sad!"

"Uh... neither? Considering I'm not that far and you have a key."

"But I'm not just gonna show up whenever the hell I feel like. You could be doing anything or anyone." Ichigo blushed, "and I'm sure as hell not going to let your mother catch you in a predicament like that. I mean,  _I_ don't want to catch you in bed... or on the floor with someone." Ichigo's blush deepened. You get caught thrusting into a girl on your bedroom floor and suddenly you're scarred for life! It wasn't Ichigo's fault his father was nosy and enjoyed bursting into his room! Imagine getting caught having sex  _and_  getting caught masturbating by the same person on two separate occasions.

"But I—"

"Shhh! Your mother might hear you!"

"How is that even possible?!"

"I don't know Ichigo." As an added safety precaution, Isshin checked his phone then sighed in relief when he saw no new messages. "I think your mother has a tracking device on me or something." He said offhandedly putting the phone away.

"Or maybe she's a mind reader." Ichigo scoffed. He sighed as his father frowned slightly. "Are you—  _I was joking!_ " Ichigo sighed though his father had every right to be afraid of his wife; Ichigo was a little afraid of his mother at times. As sweet as she was she could be just as deadly. "Mom's gonna find out sooner or later.."

"Are you out of your mind?! You were there when she snapped at me!" Isshin sighed then checked his phone again. "Think about it this way Ichigo... your mother is a bit old fashioned, you've never brought anyone home excluding that lovely lady you introduced me to a few years ago." Ichigo slumped his shoulders, "so... the way she sees it if you're not in a relationship you're not having sex. Plain and simple."

"That's not a bit old fashioned that's  _way_  old fashioned. Didn't you date or have sex with other people before mom?"

"Of course I did..." Isshin cleared his throat. "I'm not on trial here! I mean, I did but that's not important. Your mother and I didn't meet until we were in our early twenties so before then I did have sort of a ...how should I put this? An exploratory phase? Of course I was never in a relationship outside of fuck buddy status. Anyway, from what Masaki's parents told me it was quite the opposite of me – they said she was in several relationships and brought a bunch of other boyfriends home. I actually didn't think we were dating but just hanging out..." Ichigo stared at his father incredulously. "What?"

"Dad, are you trying to tell me that you only agreed to date mom to sleep with her?"

"W-What? Did I say that? N-No, your mom is the one who..." As Ichigo's eyes narrowed Isshin sighed. "Alright fine I did! So what? I never claimed to be perfect. Somehow your mother knew this already which was why we didn't have sex until we got married which she also asked..."

"Mom proposed to you? I thought you said she was old fashioned?"

"She is. But she realized I was never going to ask so she took the initiative. Truthfully, I didn't really want to 'settle down' in my mid twenties but at the same time I didn't want to – as cheesy as it sounds – lose your mother so I just agreed. I don't regret it or anything. What was the point of this conversation?"

Ichigo sighed, "the point was mom was or is expecting me and the twins to follow in her footsteps and remain abstinent until marriage rather than follow in your footsteps and sleep around." Ichigo rose an eyebrow, "did she know you were so promiscuous growing up?"

Isshin shook his head. "No and she  _won_ _'_ _t_  know, understand?"

"I got it but you just said she knew you wanted to sleep with her."

"She did but ...while she knew she wasn't my first she didn't know I had so much experience in that particular field –but I don't really want to delve further into this subject of unwittingly deceiving my wife."

"Are you kidding me? Don't leave me hanging this is really interesting. So... did you and mom ever break up?" Sighing heavily Isshin nodded. "How many times?" The black-haired man held up one finger. "In twenty three years, give or take, you only broke up once? I guess that's good – why? I bet it was your fault, wasn't it?"

"Lets talk about something else, shall we? Or better yet, I'll get you a belated housewarming gift!" Isshin nodded desperate to take the attention off himself as he quickly checked the phone again.

"Alright fine, since you're obviously desperate to not go home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 8:01pm; 9-21-13: ¥2300 = $23.15. It most certainly changed since then but this was when I wrote it.


	3. The Orange Strawberry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not quite an orange and not quite a strawberry either so why not an orangeberry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 46kg = 101. 2lbs  
> Nnoitra is 215cm which is 7ft and a half an inch; 160cm is 5ft, 3inches.

_Days until free rent: 178_

Ichigo exited his apartment locking it when he glanced out of the corner of his eye seeing Tatsuki exiting an apartment on the other side of the stairs. He didn't really see which one and didn't really have much time to think about it as Tatsuki glanced in his direction, narrowed her eyes, then walked down the hall going down the end staircase. A loud whistle caught Ichigo's attention and an arm draped itself over his shoulder. "What did you do to piss  _her_  off?" Ichigo stared at the tall man frowning, "Oh right! We haven't been introduced yet. I'm Gilga Nnoitra, I'm sure you've heard of me; I'm kind of a big deal around here." He removed his arm, "now back to Arisawa. She glared at you and even took the stairs down the hall just to get away from you! I haven't seen her this pissed since Grimmjow slapped her ass but she kicked him in the jaw afterwards. That shut him up quick, for a week actually. I don't think I ever saw anyone's leg move that high so easily..."

He gave her a few days and intended on speaking to her today but that thought was shot to hell. Ichigo sighed as this guy stared skeptically at him. "I didn't do anything."

"Maybe that's the problem? Chicks like Arisawa are fiery, ya know? She ain't gonna be wooed with fancy chocolates or love poems. Sometimes ya just gotta beat it into people – I ain't promoting domestic violence or anything! She needs to get beaten at something she loves, knock her pride down a peg. She kills at those batting cages." Nnoitra whistled, "she goes there almost daily after school."

At that, Ichigo glanced at the tall guy who was wearing those damn plaid pants! "What's with the pants? It seems like everyone around wears them."

"Duh! The school's the shit. The landlord is a Hōgyoku graduate." Ichigo heard Kenpachi say something like that a few days ago. "When I moved in I actually thought it was an off-campus building but I noticed some people from Karakura U lived here too but a good amount of tenants are students at either Hōgyoku High or Hōgyoku University – but the schools are one in the same so it doesn't really matter. The only bad thing is we have to wear these tacky ass outfits daily. Lucky we can change into our summer uniforms soon~" Nnoitra licked his lips, "I'm itching to see some skin. Oh right!" He glanced at Ichigo, "was that your old man leaving here yesterday?" Ichigo nodded slowly. "Know if he's seeing anyone?"

"Uh... just my mom?"

"Really? Fuck. I should have figured. My parents split up years ago so I'm always assuming everyone else's did the same. Anyway, nice to meet your acquaintance. Patch things up with Arisawa quick okay? If a floor war starts people are gonna be gunning for ya." Before Ichigo could ask anything the tall man happily trotted down the stairs.

Ichigo was a tenant here for over a week and he was still referred to as the new guy or, as he feared, Orangeberry. Damn Yachiru... though it was her father that gave her the idea. Speaking of fathers,  _his_ father visited yesterday at his wife's (possible) request because she had work. She made him bring over some home cooked meals in case he missed them. Isshin called ahead of time to make sure Ichigo was fully clothed and alone in his apartment. When he came over along with the food he gave Ichigo some condoms, lube and even a vibrator all in a neat little parcel. It wasn't really much of a gift considering the condoms and lube were already his but Isshin said he had to get them out of the house before Masaki found them though he did buy Ichigo more and said it was 'just in case' he needed them. Ichigo scowled, if someone came into his apartment and snooped around they'd find dozens of condoms and some containers of lubrication in his drawers! Yeah... until he found a better place for them he wasn't inviting anyone over any time soon.

— — — —

Yawning, Ichigo trotted to the apartment building. Class wasn't too bad today so he wasn't tired. So he went up to his apartment but upon remembering the week's worth of trash he accumulated he decided to bag them and take them out – if only he knew where the trash was supposed to go. As he got to the first floor he saw a redhead walking around then she paused and stared vacantly at him. "Ah! The orange hair! You're the not so new new tenant!" She yelled pointing. "I'm Honshō Chizuru-sama." She retracted her hand in favor of bowing and Ichigo returned the bow. "I'm moving here too!" Kenpachi said no one moved in since Grimmjow, excluding himself, then lo and behold a week after he comes in there's another new tenant. "Well, I haven't moved in yet. I'm touring the building though since this place is kinda close to Karakura U and I'm going to attend there too soon. My parents kinda eagerly kicked me out of the house after my late graduation ceremony from high school. Ah, but I'm babbling. I've heard a lot about you but there was no real name given though some people told me to call you Orangeberry."

"Yeah..." Ichigo sighed, "but my name is Ichigo."

"Ichigo..." Chizuru glanced at his hair, "I get the reference, its kinda cute." She rubbed the back of her neck as Ichigo glared at her. "Sorry. So you must be used to this building by now right? Mind accompanying me on this tour?"

Ichigo shrugged; he was nothing if not chivalrous – besides all in all Chizuru seemed pretty harmless. "I just gotta take out my trash."

Chizuru tapped her chin, "know what? I think I saw a dumpster out back." Ichigo stared as she bonked herself on the head sticking her tongue out. "Don't mind the exercise, lets go."

So they ventured through the staircase to the back of the building depositing Ichigo's trash into the large gray dumpster behind the building. "Didn't know the building had a pool." Ichigo said wiping his hands. There was a gate behind the the area were the dumpsters were and there was a decent size pool.

"And its summertime too!" Chizuru interrupted walking over to the gate leaning against it sighing heavily, "which means swimsuits." Ichigo glanced at the panting bespectacled girl wipe the forming drool from her mouth. "Sorry." Chizuru looked the nineteen-year-old up and down. "I don't mean to be... presumptions but you don't come off as the swim trunk type; you definitely look like a bikini kind of guy and I'm not talking thong but bikini that has your junk jutting out in the front but completely covers the back."

Blushing, Ichigo waved his arms in defense. "N-No!" He gulped at the leer he was receiving. That was the main reason he never went swimming with his friends anymore; he couldn't help that it felt more comfortable than swim trunks! It was better, although merely slightly, than going commando on the beach.

"Oh, Ichigo-kun, no need to be coy~" Chizuru waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "I personally prefer a string bikini top and a skirted or short bottom."

"That... was really specific."

"I'm a really specific kinda girl." Adjusting her glasses Chizuru beamed. "I'm not really into the whole painfully small bottom that women always have to pull down; plus, I kinda like the appeal of seeing the underneath instead of just putting it out there. Incidentally, I'm partial to men in tight bikinis especially those with huge bulges." Ichigo's jaw dropped. Still beaming, Chizuru merrily headed to the second floor with Ichigo following suit. "Say~" She turned around walking backwards looking at him. "A friend of mine told me it was a mistake checking out this place. He told me it was nice but there was a scary exhibitionist tenant with a hair-trigger temper." Ichigo paled slightly. "I'm all for exhibitionism but I guess the TPO comes into effect. I also heard the third and fifth floors are the only ones filled up but I kinda hope my apartment isn't too far from yours. I'd like to hang out with you again and stuff; I'd have to say you are pretty badical Ichigo-kun."

"You're kinda  _badical_  yourself Chizuru-sama." The redhead chuckled, "and even if your apartment isn't close it'll still be in the same building plus I got to Karakura University too."

"Really? What luck? I kept getting recommendations to go to Hōgyoku but I heard that school was full of perverts! So I said there was no way I was enrolling!" Ichigo shook his head sighing. If the school truly was like that there was no question why she got recommendations. This girl was as perverted as perverts came – hell she might even edge out Mizuiro. Wait... if Hōgyoku was full of perverts and about a third of the tenants were students what did that say about the building? Tatsuki went to Hōgyoku as well but – as far as Ichigo knew – she wasn't a pervert.

"There. You. Are~!" Ichigo and Chizuru glanced at the staircase by apartment 2-A. Yachiru was there, well at least her head as, then her arm came from around the corner and beckoned Chizuru over. "Sorry about running off, Ken-chan had a lot of calls."

"Its fine Zaraki-chan, Ichigo-kun is helping me out."

Yachiru stared at Ichigo who kept his facial expression as neutral as possible. "Orangeberry is helping you? But he just moved in himself! Well I guess its a good idea. If I leave Ken-chan alone for too long he gets lost and a bit cranky. Oh but don't tell him I told you that or he'll get  _real_  cranky. Bye Chichi, bye Berry-chin~!" Whistling loudly, Yachiru went back down the stairs. Great, was he Berry or Orangeberry? Seriously, was his name that hard to say? It was Ic-hi-go for crying out loud! Meh, it was said that nicknames were usually terms of endearment.

"Well, shall we continue the tour?" Next stop on the 'tour' was the third floor at least it was on the way to the fourth which was their true next destination. "Hey, can we go to one of the vending machines?" Shrugging, Ichigo allowed Chizuru to run over to a vending machine that was next to the middle staircase. It was a the same time that Ichigo saw someone out of the corner of his eye heading up the stairs. He barely had enough time to react as he got another bag in the stomach.

"Stop doing that!"

"Sorry." Tatsuki shrugged, "I'm so careless..." She swung the bag in her hands. "Who is your friend?"

"I-I'm Chizuru. I'm moving here... please tell me you're a tenant.  _Please_! Y-You're really pretty and I like your spiky hair. I'm digging the outfit too. By the way, how old are you? I just turned nineteen two months ago. Wow you smell really nice."

"Whoa, settle down tiger. Uh... thanks. I'm nineteen too but I'll be twenty in a month and, yeah, I am a tenant but I'm hesitant to tell you which apartment I live in." Tatsuki eyed the bespectacled teen. "You're drooling." Still staring at the taller girl, Chizuru wiped her mouth. With a sigh, Tatsuki turned to Ichigo. "A mere 46kg can take you down? You're worse off than I thought."

"That's heavier than the last bag." Tatsuki put it over her shoulder as Ichigo stood up rubbing his stomach.

Tatsuki shrugged. "You can lift 46kgs in one hand? Damn you're amazing. I love strong girls. I'm a jūdan in karate; had to be able to defend myself against perverts and stuff. Your calves tell me you dabble in ...six different kinds of martial arts."

"You could tell just by looking at my legs?"

"I was looking at your ass too but that was solely for pleasure."

Tatsuki smirked, "I like this kid Ichigo, her obnoxious level of boldness is quite refreshing." Chizuru blushed and Ichigo sighed. Of course she liked it – Tatsuki also possessed an obnoxious level of boldness herself though it wasn't as perverse as Chizuru's. "You were close its not six but seven: karate, judo, vale tudo, aikido, kendo, zui quan and t'ai chi ch'uan." Chizuru whistled.

"I do t'ai chi ch'uan too though I use it more to relax than fight. Some of the positions feel so good. Don't know what zui quan is though."

"Zui quan is also known as the drunken fist fighting style." Ichigo replied cutting Tatsuki off before she got into a long winded speech about fighting. As if she sensed what Ichigo was doing/thinking Tatsuki frowned. "Anyway, I wanted to talk to you. Is that okay?"

"Aren't you doing something?"

Chizuru looked around. "You two can talk. I'll be here waiting." Tatsuki glanced at the beaming girl before sighing. Chizuru walked to the A staircase waving at them.

Tatsuki dropped the bag on the floor folding her arms over her chest. "Make it quick."

"I want to apologize for never contacting you. I wanted to but it hurt too much. Then I realized too late it hurt more not trying."

"That is so cheesy but just like you." Tatsuki punched him in the arm. "I forgive you and in some weird way I understand. It was painful for me too. I thought you didn't care anymore so I dedicated countless hours to beating the shit out of you in case our paths every crossed again." Ichigo gulped. "It provided adequate motivation to get stronger but..." She put her arms behind her head. "I found something else to get motivated about." She smiled and Ichigo blushed slightly. "Last time we saw one another, before a few days ago, we were the same height but you shot up there didn't you?" Tatsuki picked up her bag. "You should probably finish whatever you're doing with your friend. I'll see you around."

"Hey." As she started walking off Tatsuki looked over her shoulder. "I saw a dojo on my way in... they teach capoeira and taekwondo, maybe we could check it out together sometime?"

"I'd like that. Can't learn too many fighting styles, right?"

Chizuru saw Tatsuki walking off then sprinted to her side. "You're leaving already!? But we didn't get to hang out."

"Well if you're moving into the building we can hang out whenever." Chizuru's eyes lit up and she nearly squealed when Tatsuki patted her on the face. "Later Ichigo."

"Later." Ichigo sighed in relief. So he no longer had to worry about getting glares from Tatsuki or dealing with weights being wedged into him; though he had a sinking suspicion he'd still get the latter. He glanced at Chizuru standing there in a stupor. Come to think of it... even at a young age Tatsuki always seemed to be somewhat of a pervert magnet which probably explained why she was so damn deadly. And if Tatsuki attended that pervert school she must kick ass on a regular basis or kicked so much ass when she first got there that no one knew to mess with her again. Even Nnoitra said she kicked Grimmjow for groping her.

It would be interesting to see how she incorporated seven different fighting styles into her... body. Ichigo gulped so not ready to go down  _that_  route. Sure he was a bit sexually frustrated but Tatsuki would do more than just break his jaw if she found out he thought of her in a sexual way. It was the same disheveled little girl that used to kick his ass and share her candy with him; only now she was a disheveled woman. Ichigo shook his head. He was no a masochist and he would not put himself through this shit. He walked over to Chizuru tapping her on the shoulder. "Huh? W-Wha—?" She shook her head. "Right! I almost forgot about the tour." She linked arms with Ichigo. "Sorry, I got distracted by your friend. She's so pretty. You think she's seeing anyone?"

"I don't think so..."

Chizuru eyed him, "don't tell me you're interested in her? Damn! That makes us rivals. I won't lose though." With a sigh, Ichigo nodded. "By the way, how do you know her?"

"We're childhood friends."

"Ah, having a crush on a childhood friend. I've gone down that route. Though my childhood friend has a boyfriend so I wouldn't dare go there." Chizuru sighed, "I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I was a home-wrecker for my precious Hime. But I have to say Tatsuki-chan is just as cute~"

"You're starting to drool."

Chizuru wiped her mouth, "lets continue!"

The tour continued without a hitch, several tenants were either leaving or coming in and they greeted Ichigo and, as per the probable norm, warned Chizuru about Grimmjow – only he'd been reduced to just the tenant of 3-J. It made Ichigo wonder, maybe the people that warned him using the blue-haired guy's name knew him a bit better or at least didn't obviously hate him. Though no one seemed to outright  _hate_  the guy a lot of people appeared terrified simply mentioning his name – which might be why people didn't say it.

"I don't know Ichigo-kun, I really like the building but this guy sounds pretty awful. What do you think about him?" Ichigo's left eye twitched. How was he supposed to answer that? He barely even spoke to the guy! This was probably what the landlord meant when he said they had to interact more. "I mean, I'd love to be in the same building as Tatsuki-chan and you of course. Plus I know Hime makes deliveries in this general area so I'd be able to see her a lot—"

"Wait a minute. This Hime girl you keep talking about... she's the delivery girl with the orange-brownish hair?" Chizuru nodded enthusiastically.

"That's my Hime. Well she's not really  _my_  Hime but you know. I call her Hime because her name is Orihime and she's practically like a princess in every way." Ichigo was tempted to take a few steps back with the way her eyes sparkled. "But enough about that! I want to live here  _so bad_  but all the warnings and whatnot! What made you want to move in?"

"Huh... well I never went on an apartment tour."

Chizuru facepalmed. "Of course!"

"But, even so, I... this place is close to Karakura and—" Ichigo sighed looking around, "I heard that the students at Hōgyoku are going to start wearing summer uniforms soon." Chizuru's eyes widened. "And that school is pretty close too, not to mention a couple of tenants – Tatsuki included – attend there."

"T-Tatsuki-chan attends Hōgyoku?" The black-haired teen was wearing a karate gi earlier so she must not have been coming from the school; the outfit wasn't as baggy as the ones Chizuru usually saw because she was able to make out her musculature quite easily. Chizuru wondered if it was too late to change schools? But she had to go to Karakura because her parents already paid for it and told her if she transferred without a damn good reason she was on her own besides couples from different schools were a hot rarity. Seeing Tatsuki in a short skirt and a barely buttoned up shirt that showcased her assets was definitely well worth any harassment from a hot neighbor  _plus_  Orihime's delivery company had shorts for warmer months too. Not to mention the pool and the landlord said something about a back patio where said pool was perfectly visible. "I'll do it!"

"Huh?"

"I wanna move in!" She cleared her throat. "But I'll give it a trial run."

— — — —

"Not bad kid, not bad at all. You already convinced someone to move in solely with the promise of half-naked tenants." Kenpachi laughed, "good thing its summer or that might not have worked out for you." Ichigo shrugged smiling awkwardly. "Still... I gotta hand it to you kid, your method was amazing. I never saw anyone  _that_  enthusiastic to move in anywhere and if this keeps up you won't even need to bother with Grimmjow." Ichigo rubbed the back of his neck. "Anyway, I just wanted to thank you in person but I won't take up more of your time. College students are real busy and stuff. Thanks again kid, I'll be looking to you for help in the future."

"Yeah, me too. " Nodding, the landlord left and Ichigo closed the door. Truthfully, the whole idea with Chizuru had been spur of the moment – he wasn't completely sure it would work but he had to try something. He didn't even need to tell her about Nelliel who did several films with other women – but that was neither here nor there. It became his duty to get new tenants in; new tenants that wouldn't be scared of the rumors swirling around Grimmjow. Even if the were scared there had to be something to goad them into wanting to take the risk of living here anyway despite Grimmjow's presence. In theory, it didn't seem like a bad strategy but these things had weird ways of working themselves out.

"Oh! Boss! I was looking for you." Ichigo furrowed his eyebrows as he heard someone outside his door. "I've been here about a month, right?" Ichigo heard some kind of grunt in reply. "Well, I gotta pay my rent a little early is that cool?"

"Early, late. Doesn't really matter as long as I get the rent. Though if it is late I'd have to charge. You paying for both?"

"Yeah. I mean no. He gave me the money beforehand so in a way I am but I'm also not, ya know?"

"I get ya. Come on."

Before Ichigo could process what the hell just happened outside his door the doorbell rang. He looked up then remembered there was no peephole so he slowly opened the door with the chain on it. "Hi Ichigo!" Nelliel greeted. "I wanted to thank you for the movie." She held up a basket. "My boss told me to give fruits as a thank you present!"

Ichigo took the chain off the door opening it fully allowing Nelliel access into his apartment. "Wow, this is the first time I've been in here. Its nice."

"I'll say." Ichigo gaped at Yumichika walking in toeing off his shoes. "I'll forgive you for taking her to the movies since she asked you first." Nelliel toed off her shoes then walked around. As they somewhat invited themselves in Ichigo closed the door before someone else came by. "This is the first time I've been here since your mom fixed it up."

"Your mom helped you fix up your apartment? Damn! I wish I could have been there." Nelliel snapped her fingers in disappointment. "But I did see your dad when the other tenants started hitting on him. He soaked up the attention like a sponge but he kindly rejected everyone saying he was happily married to your mom. It was kinda cute. Oh!" Nelliel handed him the basket. "Enjoy, okay? All the stuff in there is super healthy and really yummy. One more thing, you don't have any food allergies do you? I brought Grimmjow a basket when he first came into the building and it had peanuts – needless to say it didn't really end well."

"His face swelled up like a balloon and all he did was touch it!" Nelliel nudged Yumichika. "What?"

"I don't have any food allergies."

Nelliel sighed, "that's a relief. You'd be the first in a while; Hitsugaya-kun, Kei-kun, Tatsuki-chan... they all had food allergies; incidentally they were all the most recent tenants to move in. Well not Hitsugaya-kun since he was here before but—"

"I guess she's trying to officially welcome you into the building—"

" _And_  congratulate you on sticking with living next to Grimmjow for a week or so—"

"Though you'd need to be here two more weeks to beat Cifer-san's record. He lasted eighteen days before he had enough then moved to another floor and that was just Grimmjow... mostly." Ichigo suppressed the urge to gulp. What did he mean by  _just_  Grimmjow? "I heard Grimmjow's best friend, who lives in 3-H, is even worse than him... or at least just as bad."

Nelliel nodded. "I heard that too from Hitsugaya-kun but I don't think he technically ever moved in." The green-haired woman tapped her chin. "Grimmjow bought the apartment then moved his best friend's things in there when he moved in. Grimmjow's been in and out of the apartment though but the day before his apartment exploded his best friend took the key back. At least that's what Starrk-san told me but any friend of Grimmjow's gotta be hot right? Birds of a feather flock together, most of my friends are hot." Nelliel nodded to herself.

"R-Right..." Yumichika looked the green-haired woman over before turning to Ichigo. "Listen, Ichigo, I was wondering—"

"He's not going to model for you!"

"I wasn't going to ask him that!" Yumichika snapped then sighed. "Shit, you made me forget!" The black-haired man growled in frustration and started pacing before he stopped. "Now I remember! At the end of every month we usually through a party for the building... last month wasn't that great but I'm sure this month will be amazing since you're around."

"Oh yeah! Grimmjow and Cifer fought at the last one, right?" Yumichika nodded. "Hey, wait the end of the month is in less than a week right? Are you going to come? Well you would since you live here but if you're like okay with actually being  _at the party_  you'll have to get a red sticker and put it on your door. I'm sure Zaraki-san will be handing them out before the week is over. Ooh, I'm so excited!"

"These things are like perfect opportunities for the tenants to get to know one another—"

"But I still don't know who lives next door to me." Nelliel mused frowning. "I've never seen a sticker on their door. Sometimes tenants with the red stickers leave their doors open. I'm going to make it a personal mission to find out my neighbor's identity."

"Speaking of neighbors I heard you had some kind of trouble with Arisawa-san."

"Where did you hear that from?"

"Gilga." Ichigo sighed. Of course. He witnessed it after all so of course he'd relay the message. "Listen. She's tough as shit, she'll beat all our asses if we side with you so you'd better fix whatever is going on. You don't wanna create a floor war like Cifer-san did." Yumichika shuddered.

"There isn't going to be a floor war. I handled it." Nelliel and Yumichika exchanged glances. "Ask her if you don't believe me."

"I  _would_  but I just said she'd beat our asses." Yumichika huffed.

"I'll ask her. Its no problem but if you really did do something then there's going to be hell to pay Ichigo, no matter how cute you are." Nelliel stood and Ichigo wondered just when the hell did they got on his futon. The green-haired woman calmly walked to the door opened it then started yelling. "Tatsuki-chan! You home!?"

Ichigo sighed putting his head down then his head snapped up, " _wait_! Tatsuki lives on this floor?!" He did see her come out of an apartment on this floor but it never registered to him that it was  _her_  apartment. Then again, a few hours ago his head wasn't screwed on right.

"Duh! Why else would I say we were going to have a floor war? Oh right!" Yumichika facepalmed. "I sort of forgot you wouldn't know what a floor war is considering you haven't seen one. Its, as its name suggests, a war in which two or more tenants of a particular floor engage in a battle of sorts then the remaining members of said floor choose sides in the aforementioned battle – like Grimmjow and Cifer-san last month; though that qualified more as a building war as opposed to a floor war...  _but_  the tenants of the fourth floor had a crazy floor war a few days before you moved in."

"Why are you yelling? And what are you doing in this apartment?" Tatsuki yelped as she was pulled inside then Nelliel closed the door. "Oh... so this is Ichigo's place."

"Okay, so I had to ask you in person if you two are starting a floor war."

"What? Not with him." Nelliel and Yumichika both sighed in relief. "With all the love  _Orangeberry_  is getting, it wouldn't be fair for me."

"You know I'll side with you. Girls gotta stick together and you're the only female friend I have outside of work so I can't afford to mess with that!" Tatsuki laughed as Nelliel hugged her.

"So... no other women live in this building?"

"Of course there are!" Nelliel replied still hugging Tatsuki. "There's a whole bunch but none of them are as friendly as Tatsuki;  _plus_ , all the women I've interacted in this building are cranky old ladies that don't condone my choice of profession. When I told Tatsuki what I did she said it was cool."

"And she hugged me like she's doing now."

Nelliel released her, "I can't help it! I never had that many female friends to start with and everyone I told that to looked at me in disgust and disappointment even some guys looked freaked out!"

"But porn fans get starstruck, right? Poor Kira collapsed when you met." Nelliel chuckled, "but enough about that. If everything is cool between you two we'll alert the tenants that there will be no floor war." Yumichika stood, "come on Odelschwanck."

"But I'm not done—"

"Oh yes you are. Buh-bye." Nelliel protested as she was dragged from the apartment.

"What apartment do you live in?" Tatsuki looked Ichigo up and down. "S-Stop starting at me like that! I just want to know so I can hang out."

"You want to hang out do you? Well, I'm in the third one on the other side of this floor." Third on the other side? Did she mean 3-C or 3-E? Nelliel lived in 3-A and she said she had no idea who lived next door to her, those twins were in 3-D and Yumichika was 3-F; Ichigo didn't know who was in 3-G, he never saw the tenant of 3-H but heard it was Grimmjow's best friend supposedly, he was in 3-I, Grimmjow was 3-J, Hitsugaya was 3-K and he heard someone say the Gilga guy lived in 3-N which made 3-L and 3-M's tenants mysteries too. But if Nelliel was loud enough for Tatsuki to hear her she must be the tenant of 3-E. "You're trying to figure it out, aren't you?"

"Well it would be easy if you just told me."

Tatsuki chuckled, "you're right but what fun would that be?" Ichigo sighed. "By the way, don't tell your friend I live on this floor okay?"

"I just might if you don't tell me the apartment." Tatsuki stared at him. "Anyway, you... you've... you must have seen a floor war, right?"

"I got here before Grimmjow moved in so yeah I saw one, two actually. Though the first one wouldn't really be considered just a floor war; I wasn't apart of it if that's what you're asking."

"I'm not ...but speaking of Grimmjow, I heard you kicked him in the jaw."

"Gilga tell you that?" Ichigo nodded. "Yeah, I kicked him. He caught me off guard and my hands were full." Tatsuki shrugged. "When he was able to talk again we laughed it off. I didn't break his jaw or anything though I did crack it." Ichigo had no comment for that, she was even scarier than he remembered and it was strangely alluring. Man or woman, Ichigo was always fond of strong people. "So..." Ichigo was a little taken aback with how close Tatsuki got not to mention the grin she was sporting. "Be honest with me, how is it living next door to Grimmjow?"

Ichigo shrugged, "its okay I guess. I don't really see him too much."

"Awww... I was expecting  _something_ , especially considering how many weirdos you befriended in your lifetime." Ichigo had to stifle his laughter at that; she had no idea she qualified as one of said weirdos he befriended. She was probably at the top of the list – she wasn't the weirdest weirdo but she was definitely in the top three. "Anyway, if that's all you need me for I'm gonna go and don't try and walk me out expecting to see where my apartment is."

"Fine. I won't look or ask around, satisfied?"

"Immensely." She smirked as Ichigo narrowed his eyes. "Don't look so glum Kurosaki, all will be revealed in due time. You're going to the party thing right?" Ichigo shrugged. "Well you should, there are lot of... interesting tenants in this building."

Ichigo sighed, "interesting?" Tatsuki nodded. "That's another way of saying weird, right?"

"Pretty much."

— — — —

_Days until free rent: 177_

He spent most of the morning cleaning his apartment; apparently he suffered from closet obsessive-compulsive behavior because he just cleaned up several days ago. But when your apartment fucking exploded (though it was more like some kind of implosion) you'd want to keep it clean to make sure it didn't happen again; though he wasn't even sure how it happened the first time. Grimmjow sighed closing the door with his foot, the first few times he did it his foot got stuck and he swore for several minutes before people generally avoided not only his direction but the entire floor. It felt fucking great being back in his apartment, a rush job cost him an arm and a leg but it was definitely worth it. Not to knock Gilga but he had no idea how he could stay in that tiny ass apartment being so damn tall!

The blue-haired male contemplated chucking his garbage over the railing and letting gravity take care of them but that pink-haired daughter of the landlord gave him quite the long-winded scolding last time he did it and he wasn't really in the mood to get another earful. Groaning, he started walking bypassing apartment 3-I then 3-H glaring at the closed door of the latter. That idiot was supposed to be back but he called saying the trip back was going to be delayed for a few more days. How the fuck was Grimmjow supposed to get his shit if his supplier wasn't around? Not only that but, as mushy as it sounded, Grimmjow missed the fuck out of his buddy – the last time he saw him was about ...whenever the hell he moved in. That asshole owed him big time, paying for his fucking apartment and not fully living in it?

He trotted down the stairs ignoring the hushed whispers of the tenants outside the second floor poorly masking their stares at him. He really wasn't in the mood to fuck with them today so he left it alone. Grimmjow tossed the garbage in the dumpster, opened the sanitizer on the hook thing on his pants then used it before rubbing it in his hands. Not only was he closet obsessive-compulsive but mysophobic too. Once that was done, he trotted back up to his floor. He had to pay rent early because if he didn't he'd more than likely forget and end up paying late,  _plus_ he had other non rent related things to take care of. The landlord was surprisingly mellow about him getting so many damn apartments and having no one living in them. If it weren't for that assclown Cifer the four of them would be fucking shit up but  _no_  that emotionless tool apartment blocked him then someone else took apartment 3-K before anyone realized. Grimmjow sighed and as he reached the floor he saw the bright orange hair of his neighbor.

Despite the rumors he must have heard (and Grimmjow was certain there were rumors), the orange-haired guy decided to stick around in this apartment which was fine by Grimmjow. He was definitely easy on the eyes so living next door to that wasn't going to warrant any complaints. He couldn't remember his name though... what did Gilga call him? Was it a color? No, it was definitely a food, maybe some kind of fruit...? "Hey Berry!"

Grimmjow saw the orange-haired male visibly flinch before he turned around scowling. He saw Nelliel sitting on the rail. "Hey!" She chirped waving. Someone seemed quite fond of the new guy. "Think you can convince Ichi-kun to come to the end of the month party?"

"Fuck no. I'm not even going to that shit and the next time I see Cifer I'm gonna fucking deck him."

Nelliel waved him off, " _every time_  you see Cifer you deck him and he reciprocates." The green-haired woman rolled her eyes. "I think you're both masochists that get off on that." Grimmjow had to scoff at that. "So... back to what I was saying, everyone wants to meet the tenant brave enough to be your next door neighbor and what better way to do that then go to the party! When you moved in and the rumors started to swirl Hitsugaya-kun was relentlessly harassed by tenants asking if he was okay and stuff."

"Yeah, because I'm far worse than being next to a porn star." Nelliel huffed; if she weren't sitting on the already unstable rail she would have folded her arms over her chest. "Don't force him into anything, if he doesn't wanna go then he doesn't wanna go."

"Yeah ...but it'll be fun! I wouldn't force him if I didn't think it would be a good idea! Oh and speaking of going..." Grimmjow rose an eyebrow. "Ask your tall friend if he wants to go to the party with me?"

Grimmjow sighed, "is this junior high? Why not ask him yourself?"

"I don't know him that well!" Nelliel cleared her throat. "Just ask him then tell me, okay?" With a sigh, the blue-haired male nodded. "Good." Grimmjow shook his head then opened his apartment walking inside. "Ichi-kun, you should definitely come. If you don't want to stay..." She leaned over glaring at Grimmjow's closed apartment door, "then you should just drop by for a few."

"I'll think about it."

"Yay!" Nelliel hopped off the railing landing in front of Ichigo. "Be weary of the older tenants, some of them live on the second floor but most of them moved to the higher levels to avoid Grimmjow. Cifer wasn't the only person to relocate to a different apartment due to Grimmjow's influence." Ichigo wasn't surprised to hear that but he personally didn't feel the need to shy away or avoid Grimmjow at least not yet though he couldn't help but wonder when these feelings would pass. There had to be a reason why people went through great lengths to avoid this guy while telling others to do the same. "Anyway..." Nelliel stretched, "gotta get to work, my  _other_  job."

"You work two jobs?"

"Of course! I can't survive on sex all the time, I mean, well  _I could_  but you know..." She shrugged, "if I only had one job I'd be bored out of my mind when I wasn't at work then I'd harass other tenants to occupy my time. Come to think of it I did that before..." No wonder Hitsugaya told him she was a problem – or at least tried to – when he first moved in. "Anyway, bye. See ya around." Ichigo nodded as Nelliel blew a kiss at him before leaving. It took him a few days to get over the fact that he was conversing with an adult film star as if it were second nature but he was grateful to get used to it though her leaning on him and rubbing up against him weren't going to be as easy to get used to.

On the subject of rubbing... Ichigo sighed. If Grimmjow were around there was no way he could even  _think_ of relieving himself. With all the shit he heard outside his walls someone could just as easily hear what was going on inside. Ichigo hadn't taken care of himself or even had sex since he moved in – in fact it was a few weeks before he moved in; the sex part anyway.

Ichigo sighed again walking into his apartment hitting his head against the door. What the fuck was he going to do? It wasn't as though he could just invite himself over to a friend's house and jack off there nor was there even a remote possibility of him doing it at his parent's house. Grimacing, Ichigo looked up – whenever he couldn't get the opportunity to... take care of himself he did strenuous activity to exhaust him physically so sex would be the furthest thing from his mind.

After showering Ichigo all but ran to Chad's apartment; the brunet told him via text the other day to give him a place to hide in case murderous thoughts concerning Grimmjow ever surfaced. Despite not knowing of the little whatever it was called going on with the landlord, Chad knew Ichigo wasn't going to move out of his apartment but like any rational minded individual he'd need some time to clear his head and that's what his friend's apartment, on another floor, was for.

Once they chatted for a while, Ichigo got the directions to the batting cages where he proceeded to fuck shit up with little remorse. Chad even accompanied him just for the hell of it. The brunet watched in awe as Ichigo hit the tenth ball in a row on the fastest setting the machine allowed. After seeing Ichigo hit the eleventh ball sending it flying Chad deduced that his friend was either inexplicably pissed or uncharacteristically suffering from a serious bout of sexual frustration. It was uncharacteristic because Ichigo was pretty damn capable of getting anyone at any time – even though he was a bit dense when it came to that particular subject.

Chad had to admit if he didn't view Ichigo as a little brother he wouldn't mind pursuing him; though most of Ichigo's admirers kept their distance due to his temper. Pretty soon, after Ichigo hit ball fifteen a crowd emerged seemingly out of nowhere but the orange-haired teen kept his focus on the machine. People were leaning on the gates just staring; one person was allowed in the cage at a time so Chad was standing by the door surrounded by dozens of oglers.

"Chad?" The brunet turned to the familiar voice. Tatsuki locked her hands behind her heads, "hell of a crowd." She gasped, "shit. Is that  _Ichigo_?" Tatsuki moved closer to the gate watching Ichigo swing and connect. "Fuck he's good!" Chad glanced at the black-haired teen grip the gate with a smirk; Tatsuki always had a bit of a sadistic streak and it seemed to come out full force when it came to Ichigo. Whether it was beating him up in fight or challenging him to some sort of competition. "How long has he been in there?" Tatsuki asked not taking her eye off the slightly older teen as he once again hit the ball.

"A few minutes; he's hit every one." Tatsuki whistled. Damn, even she wasn't that good.

"By the way..." She glanced up at Chad, "remember that kid with the glasses we used to hang out with? The one who always claimed to be Ichigo's  _best friend_?" Chad nodded. "He still around?"

"Yeah. He goes to Karakura as well."

Tatsuki sighed returning her attention to the cage, "I figured as much. That fucker was joined to Ichi's hip." The crowd cheering caught Tatsuki's attention as Ichigo took his helmet off. "Way to go!" She cheered leaning against the cage.

Ichigo smiled waving then exited the cage blushing slightly at the applause he received. "Oh! Kurosaki-kun." Ichigo glanced at the blond man walking toward them. He remembered seeing him the first day but could not remember his name. "May I take a picture for the wall? I-Its my boss' order." Ichigo nodded then put his helmet back on and put the bat over his shoulder. The blond nodded then took the picture. "Thank you." He bowed. "W-Who are your friends?"

"Right, this is Chad." The brunet bowed, "and Tatsuki." Tatsuki bowed. "They live in the building too."

"Really? How interesting." The blond bowed again, "I should get going. Nice meeting you two, hope to see you again." They waved as the blond walked off.

"I've been coming here for weeks and I've never seen that guy." Tatsuki rubbed the back of her neck. Ichigo glanced at the black-haired slightly younger teen. Gilga did say she frequented the batting cages and she 'killed' at them – he also said to beat her at them to knock her pride down a peg but there was no real reason for Ichigo to do so now, or ever. "You wanna square off in the cages?" Until she said that. Tatsuki was practically beaming at him so with a sigh he nodded. Pumping her fist in the air, Tatsuki trotted off whistling.

"You sure you can take another round of  _that_?" Chad asked raising an eyebrow. Ichigo always had a high level of stamina but taking a crack at the batting cages twice back to back might be too much,  _especially_  if he was doing it in a competition against Tatsuki and their competitions always showed little sign of anyone coming out without injuries (including bystanders!).

"Hey, what can go wrong?" Chad simply shook his head as Ichigo grinned. The orange-haired male was either a closet masochist or so used to this sort of thing that he was barely even registered it!

"You... you're sexually frustrated, aren't you?"

Ichigo's grin completely faded and was replaced by his trademark scowl. He looked around noting most of the people who were standing here had left. "Dude! Don't say shit like that." He sighed then folded his arms over his chest furrowing his eyebrows. "So what if I am?"

"I was just curious." Ichigo eyed the brunet. "Its either when you're really upset or sexually tense that you develop this sort of... focus." Ichigo's eyes narrowed. "I've seen it happen before, in case you were wondering."

"I really wasn't." He ran a hand through his hair, "shit... is it that obvious?"

"Only for someone who's known you for eleven years." He looked up as Tatsuki was coming their way, "or more." Ichigo gulped. He knew Tatsuki for sixteen years of his life! It was basically three-fourths considering he was almost twenty. Even excluding the eight years they hadn't been in contact she still would know if something were wrong, right?

Tatsuki tilted her head at Ichigo looking up furrowing his eyebrows. "Hey!" She snapped and he looked down. "Ready?" A nod was her response as Ichigo put his helmet on. "See ya on the other side." She said walking into the cage beside the one he was in.

As Ichigo went to walk inside Chad grabbed his arm. "You're not ...frustrated because of  _her_ , are you?" Ichigo sputtered earning a uneasy glance from Tatsuki.

"Don't be crazy!" He hissed turning back to Chad neither confirming nor denying the accusation just like the brunet thought he would. "What makes you even think that!?"

"Why not? I'm not blind Ichigo." The orange-haired male's shoulders slumped, "nor am I deaf." Ichigo's eyes widened briefly before he regained his composure. "You've had an unnatural obsession with her since you two met." Chad might not have known either of them as long as they knew one another but he knew them long and well enough. And it didn't help matters that Ichigo told him everything that happened in great detail. Plus, the brunet wasn't the type to bullshit and shoot his mouth off. He was one observant fellow; too damn observant. "Just be careful."

Ichigo sighed, "got it." He glanced at Tatsuki taking several swings just to test the waters. "Right..." He said with a sigh before walking into the gate he was previously in. Ichigo had nineteen years and eleven months of soluble proof that he was the furthest thing from a masochist; if anything he occasionally exhibited sadistic qualities but that was neither here nor there.  _However,_  Tatsuki's inner ( _and_  outer) sadist clearly whipped his into a state of whimpering submission. He could almost picture the black-haired teen in full on dominatrix gear cracking a leather whip against his naked ass.

Ichigo shuddered. Why was he getting turned on by that?

He almost yelped when Tatsuki's scowling face was in front of his – through the gate fortunately. "Are we going to do this thing or not?" The only response he could give was a nod so they deposited their coins in the machine waiting for it to start up. On the other side of the gate, Chad sighed shaking his head. He didn't know how this would turn out but it would not be beneficial for either party.

— — — —

Twenty-three minutes and fifteen seconds, a crowd of cheering fans and two burnt out machines later Tatsuki and Ichigo reached a stalemate hitting fastballs until their arms were sore. Kira, the blond from earlier, came back after both machines stopped working simultaneously along with his manager who claimed nothing like this ever happened before.

Chad leaned against the gate checking his phone. At least no one received an injury but those poor machines got jacked up real bad.

Tatsuki took her helmet off as the two men attempted to fix the machine. She walked out the gate glancing at Chad who was looking at his phone, then she looked at Ichigo. He seemed to change only slightly in eight years. Tatsuki's lips pursed into a thin line. It was definitely weird for her to check out one of her best friends but she wasn't blind and Ichigo was hella attractive – even when they were kids but he was more cute then. The orange-haired teen scowled wiping some sweat from his forehead. The two men were in Ichigo's gate near the pitching machine tinkering with it. Some of the other people's machines stopped working as well so the three men were the only people still in the gates. "Ichigo, get your ass out here." Tatsuki said with a sigh.

"They told me to stay in case it started working again." He said without turning to her practice swinging.

Tatsuki scowled at the orange-haired teen's back fully intending on cursing him out when a loud whistle caught her attention. "Damn, you fucked up those machines  _again_?" Tatsuki's eyes narrowed as Nnoitra walked up to her leaning down smirking. He nodded at Chad who nodded back. "Now you dragged poor little Berry into your twisted shit Arisawa?"

Tatsuki felt her right eye twitch but before she played into his hand she matched his smirk with one of her own, "jealous that little Berry can handle it and you can't?"

"Girl, I doubt anyone could handle you but if you break the building's new toy no one's gonna be happy about it. I mean our old source of entertainment was watching Grimm and Ulqui go at it like oil and vinegar or something but then Ulqui decides to be the big guy bowing out and shit gets boring then lo and behold an orange-haired piece of eye candy graces our unworthy eyes with his beauty." Tatsuki rolled her eyes. "Admit it, you're so hot for him that... that... damn I can't think of a good analogy but you understand what I'm trying to say!"

"Whatever. Are you done making no sense?" She held up a finger silencing the black-haired male. "Let me clear some things up for you, mmkay? Interpret this however you'd like but what I do to Ichigo is none of your damn business and as far as being 'hot for him' or whatever as much as it would satisfy you its not the truth."

"Yeah right and while we're on the subject of spouting bullshit I'm 160cm and a natural redhead." Nnoitra shook his head rubbing the eye patch over his left eye. "Look. I won't tell a soul...  _if_  you tell me the nature of your relationship to our darling Orangeberry."

Tatsuki huffed. For some inexplicable reason or another, Gilga was like a lanky walking diary – everyone told him their business because he seemed to know just about everything only relaying the overflowing amounts of information he retained when it wasn't some kind of breech in terms of security. She'd only been here about a month and a half and she was sure the black-haired male interacted with damn near every tenant in the building for however long he lived here which, according to Yumichika, wasn't too long (maybe two months or so).

"I'm not telling you a damn thing! And if you're so concerned about the nature of my 'relationship' with Ichigo why not just ask him?" Nnoitra rolled his non concealed eye.

"I was trying to make things easy for you Arisawa but you've forced my hand, you're tampering with forces you cannot control." The black-haired male jerked his head toward the gate where Ichigo swung at a ball nearly hitting the two men near the machine. The orange-haired teen rubbed the back of his neck apologizing while chuckling. "I can tell you want him but its not gonna be easy for you to actually get him... setting aside the fact that Orangeberry seems as thick as a brick you got some steady competition. That porn star beauty is always puttering around him plus there's Yumichika who will not go down without a fight and lets not forget Grimmjow likes his face too." Tatsuki glowered at him, "the truth hurts  _darling_ , I'll let that soak in for a while." Giving her the two-fingered salute, Nnoitra walked off laughing. Tatsuki's eyes narrowed at the lanky man's retreating form.

Chad glanced at the seething teen. Yeah, this definitely was not going to be good. Just as he thought Tatsuki was going to break something she uncurled her fists and took a deep breath. Either Nnoitra didn't give two shits about being discreet or he purposely wanted someone to hear him get Tatsuki riled up. Chad was there when she kicked Grimmjow in the jaw – he was just as shocked as everyone else in the area but as soon as that leg made contact he remembered his short-tempered childhood friend that he hadn't seen in a good eight years; Nnoitra was around too and ever since he seemed to make it a personal mission to piss her off without getting hit and he did it well. He was either an extreme masochist or one superb asshole – hell, he was more than likely a sick combination of both.

The sound of cheering caught Chad's ears and he turned back to the cages while Ichigo attack the balls being hurled at him. It seemed as though the machines went crazy with the two men tinkering with them because every machine was spitting out balls at a rapid, dizzying pace. Chad could do nothing but stare – the orange-haired man always said if he couldn't become a doctor like his old man then he'd become a baseball player and his third option was a chef but that was a well-kept secret between the two of them.

"Sado-kun?" Uryū adjusted his glasses as he approached the brunet but paused when he saw Tatsuki. "A-Arisawa?" At the sound of her name being called, Tatsuki turned to the bespectacled teen who gulped as she grinned at him.

"Ishida, long time no see." She walked over to him patting him on the shoulder. For as long as she could remember he didn't seem to like her that much and it was all because she knew Ichigo better than he did but that could have changed with the eight years of no contact. When they were younger all they did was compete for Ichigo's attention and as Gilga suggested the idiot was thick as a brick so he never really understood. Then again, they were a couple of dumb as shit six-year-olds and Ichigo was too weird to not want to constantly be around.

"Right." The bespectacled teen rotated his shoulder frowning slightly. "I see you're looking well."

"Likewise." They smiled at one another and Chad was thoroughly confused. The brunet didn't know whether or not Uryū just didn't like her or he didn't like her because Ichigo always seemed to prefer her... either way the two didn't seem to get along without Ichigo or himself as a buffer.

"Did you need something Uryū?"

"Hm? Oh yeah. I was looking for Ichigo when some guy from the building told me he was down here."

Tatsuki and Chad exchanged glances before turning to Uryū. "Some guy?"

"Yeah. Didn't catch his name but he had bright blue hair and blue eyes."

"Grimmjow..." There really wasn't anyone else who fit that description and no doubt Gilga was the one that told him.

"You mean that tenant everyone's afraid of?"

"Shit they're even telling people who don't live at Hueco Noches about him?"

"Actually I heard about it when I was visiting Ichigo. Wait..." He glanced between the two older teens. He knew Chad lived there, courtesy of Ichigo a few nights ago telling him upon finding out himself (presumably) but there was no fucking way Arisawa lived here too!? It had to be close to (if not more than) eight years since they last saw one another. Ichigo was still torn up about it sometimes but a  _real_  best friend wouldn't just leave without a proper goodbye hence Uryū being the true best friend despite her having met him two years prior than he did. "You live in Hueco Noches?"

There was that damn smirk again. Good to know she hadn't changed in eight years. They used to be a couple of dumb as shit six-year-olds seeing which was the better best friend for Ichigo but now it seemed as though they were smarter nineteen-year-olds still after the same fucking thing. The black-haired teen tilted her head, folded her arms over her chest, and nodded. "Yup. I live in Hueco Noches. Same floor as Ichigo apparently."

That was something Ichigo failed to tell him – then again Ichigo didn't exactly tell him they were in contact either and judging by the smugness in her voice they were definitely in contact.

Chad sensed the foreboding doom between Tatsuki and Uryū. If this got physical Uryū didn't stand a chance – the bespectacled black-haired teen was not made for fighting. Tatsuki could, and probably  _would_ , snap him like a twig without provocation... and she looked just about ready to.

As if one cue from some divinity above, Ichigo stepped out of the batting cage with the bat against his left shoulder. For once he didn't have on his trademark scowl, his expression seemed sorta blank. "Hey Uryū."

"Hey..." He glanced at Tatsuki rolling her eyes, "how come you didn't tell me she lived in your building?"

"Hm? I didn't?"

Ah, ever the oblivious one. Uryū sighed shaking his head, "its fine. I was just a bit surprised is all."

Ichigo tapped his lips with his free hand. "Wait a minute. I told you." Uryū rose both eyebrows. "I know I did because Chad was with me when I did it." Both Tatsuki and Uryū turned to Chad who was looking at Ichigo. "I sent you a text about it."

That wasn't possible, was it? Whenever Ichigo sent him a message he usually responded with great fervor though if he did receive anything pertaining to Tatsuki he probably would have ignored it. Uryū shrugged, "maybe you did. I don't remember."

"Uryū, you still can't stand her can you?" And here he thought Ichigo was a bit slow on the uptake. The orange-haired teen shifted on his legs turning to Tatsuki, "and you feel the same way right?" She huffed with a shrug. "You two are two of my best friends, is it  _possible_  that you can get along for my sake?"

"That's low!" Tatsuki hissed. Uryū agreed, clearly, but didn't voice it.

Ichigo shrugged with a smirk, "by the way. I won the competition." Tatsuki's eyes narrowed at him. "Just in case you were wondering."

"You bastard, that's why you stayed in there?"

"Hell no. The score thing lit up when the machines went fucking crazy and I hit more." Tatsuki glared at him.

"You two still compete against one another over trivial things?" Ichigo, Uryū and Tatsuki stared at Chad and the brunet was staring back at them as if he didn't say anything. Though this particular question could mean Ichigo and Tatsuki's endless battles everyone knew he was talking to Uryū and Tatsuki.

"How could we? We haven't seen one another in eight years." She glanced at the bespectacled teen who had his arms over his chest. "And besides... that was ancient history." Uryū couldn't help but roll his eyes – he was always a bit on the chivalrous side but never when it came to Tatsuki but lets face it she wasn't exactly the type of person who seemed to be in need of rescuing... ever.

"Right." Ichigo glanced at Chad who nodded. "If that's the case you two wouldn't mind hanging out." At their dumbfounded expressions he took off his helmet. "There's that end of the month party thing, right? You should check it out Uryū."

The bespectacled teen schooled his features then nodded. "I think I'll take you up on that offer Kurosaki."

— — — —

_Days until free rent: 176_

"Its amazing how you could know everyone's personal business but not know that a porn star wants to get into your pants." Nnoitra rose an eyebrow at the white-haired teen calmly sipping his drink through the straw. Was it that obvious that Nelliel lady wanted him? Not that he had to question how hot he was but every time he saw her she was bopping around Orangeberry. Grimmjow told him yesterday though it was hard to understand that asshole who was talking through a laughing fit. He tried to figure it out on his own but it was going nowhere, a day later he managed to snag Hitsugaya and ask him which led to their current conversation.

"Well shit, excuse me then." Huffing, the black-haired man leaned back in his seat. "And I don't know  _everyone's_  business." Green eyes merely glanced at him. "I think you pal around Jaegerjaquez too fucking much, his personality is starting to rub off on you." The white-haired teen shrugged. "So... I didn't get the opportunity to talk to you with your apartment being split and shit but it got fixed right?"

Hitsugaya put his drink down, "no. Jaegerjaquez was in a rush to fix  _his_  apartment not mine." Nnoitra whistled. "It'll be finished before the end of the month thing, or so he says."

"Right... that. Anyway, what should I do?"

"You're not seriously asking me for dating advice, are you?" As the black-haired man nodded the teen sighed. "You're impossible. I don't know what to do. Ask her out, or go to the damn thing with her. You're less likely to get rejected if she likes you."

"Wait, what do you mean less likely!? You mean I could still be rejected!?" Hitsugaya simply put the cup back to his lips sipping through the straw. "You're worse than Grimmjow!"

At the sneeze, they looked up at the aforementioned blue-haired male rubbing his nose. "Gilga~" He said with a grin, "still can't handle your problems alone?"

"Fuck off." Nnoitra was about to stand when he leaned back. "Is that really any way to talk to someone who lent you their apartment?"

"Is that any way to talk to someone who is going out of their way to get you laid?" Nnoitra glanced at Hitsugaya who shrugged still sipping through his straw.

"Fuck, I hate you sometimes."

Humming, Grimmjow slid in the booth next to Hitsugaya wrapping an arm around the short male's shoulder. "I figured you'd say that. Listen... you –did he call you?"

"About the apartment? Uh, no? Last I heard, he was still out of town in the amazon or wherever the fuck benefiting research on behalf of mankind or what the hell a goody two shoes numbnuts like that does." Frowning slightly, Grimmjow nodded. "You should have just given me 3-H."

"I offered but you said you didn't want it."

"Only since I didn't want to live next to Cifer's crazy ass. Besides, wasn't he in and out of it for a while?" Grimmjow shrugged, "then how did you get the key back?"

"I never did. The landlord kept letting me in."

Hitsugaya stared between Grimmjow and Nnoitra trying to follow their conversation; it was difficult being the smart one around a couple of idiots that made no sense. "Okay, I'm lost. Who or what the hell are you two talking about? I thought someone was living in 3-H. Are there more people in your dysfunctional little clique?"

Nnoitra tsked him, "someone  _is_  living in 3-H – just not at the moment." Hitsugaya frowned. "And clique is so passe; I prefer posse or brigade or roll dogs." Grimmjow nodded.

"I never pegged the two of you as 'roll dogs' or even friends." At the twin grins he received he figured out the answer. Birds of a feather do flock together after all and Grimmjow did stay with Gilga for a few days with no complaints – other than the fact that the black-haired male's apartment was too fucking small. "So, who is this supposed tenant that lives here yet doesn't?"

"You'll meet him at the end of the month thing, don't you worry."

Hitsugaya sighed, "that's making me worry a lot more than I was before."

"Hold on! Forget about this, we're talking about me getting laid remember? How do I approach the subject? I mean, she's a porn star for crying out loud! And I'm not the most experienced guy around."

Grimmjow held up two fingers, "the way I see it is you either wing it or practice until you're as good as she is."

"What the fuck!? That's terrible advice!" Nnoitra cradled his face in his hands. "She's gonna fucking laugh at me!"

"Then don't sleep with her!" Nnoitra's head snapped up at the two of them frowning shaking their heads.

"If its making you this nervous just  _thinking_ about it, it'll be impossible to actually do." Hitsugaya sighed. "Or are you too stupid to comprehend?"

"No, I'm pretty stupid but I get that. But... what if  _she_  wants to?" Grimmjow and Hitsugaya exchanged glances before shrugging. "Don't look at me like that! Girls wanna fuck just as badly as guys do they're just better at hiding it." All he got were a pair of blank stares. "Sometimes I swear I don't know why I bother..."

Grimmjow stood, "me either but you'd better do something quick before she snatches up Berry. As I left my apartment this morning I saw the two of them all over one another laughing and whatnot, yesterday too." Nnoitra paled. "Anyway, I did my public service for the day. I'm out. Later."

Hitsugaya glanced at Grimmjow walking away before staring at Nnoitra slumped back in his chair. The white-haired teen picked up his drink sipping it. It seemed as though one person was going to make this an interesting end of the month party even if the person in question wasn't aware yet. Then again, Grimmjow and Ulquiorra succeeding in making last month's one to remember and neither of them knew what they were getting into either.

— — — —

After deeming the white-haired teen no help of any kind, Nnoitra made his way back to the building. It was Sunday so he didn't have to worry about school or anything; thankfully. While walking he saw the orange-haired somewhat new tenant talking to Arisawa. Yumichika told him there wasn't going to be a floor war, at least not between them and that they were childhood friends so most of the tenants moodily backed off. It would be interesting seeing a floor war and not be apart of it – that shit with Grimmjow was exhausting and amusing so it would solely be amusing from an outsider's perspective. Floor war or not Nnoitra now knew why Tatsuki seemed so much more...  _intense_  around Orangeberry – they had history,  _that_  and Arisawa was one possessive bitch. She didn't want anyone playing with what was already hers. Why not fucking share? If they had history there was no reason not to let others get to know Berry better. Oh well, no time like the present to fuck with some neighbors~

"Arisawa~" At the scowl, Nnoitra couldn't help but grin. "Ah baby you don't seem happy to see me. What's going on Orangeberry?" Ichigo merely sighed mumbling a hello. It was nice he resigned to his fate so quickly; Yachiru had nicknames for everyone in the building: some were humors, a few were cute and others were just plain weird.

"Did you need something Gilga?"

"Hm? Nope. Just saying hello... hope I wasn't interrupting anything?" Tatsuki rolled her eyes. "I don't really get to chat with Orangeberry since you're hogging him all to yourself."

"Oh fuck off. I'm not hogging him. _"_

"Whatever you say sweetheart but our neighbors beg to differ." Giving them the two-fingered salute, Nnoitra walked off whistling.

The black-haired male couldn't conceal his grin if he tried. He didn't even need to look back to know Tatsuki was glaring at his retreating form.

As he was walking to his apartment he saw Nelliel walking up the staircase by said apartment. Her apartment was on the other side of the building near the A staircase. "Hey..." The green-haired woman waved awkwardly. You wouldn't think a porn star would be this cute but you'd be sadly mistaken.

"Hey..." Nnoitra replied with a grin. "You going to the end of the month thing?" Nelliel nodded slowly. "Cool. Cool, hey, maybe we can hang out together?"

"That sounds like a great idea!" Nelliel cleared her throat. "I mean, yeah. I'm totally okay with that." Nodding, she started walking down the hall.

"I'll see you Wednesday?"

"Wednesday!"


	4. The "Controversial Sex Talk"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The relationship between Nelliel and Nnoitra takes an unusual turn. Wait, what relationship?

Whistling loudly and slightly off-key, Nelliel happily walked down the hall knocking on the door of apartment 3-J. When her knocking was met with silence she rang the doorbell, repeatedly. When she was met with silence again she rang the doorbell  _and_ knocked on the door. Just as she was about to start screaming the door opened revealing Grimmjow's half-asleep face with some kind of pastry stuff in his partially opened mouth. "Guess who has a date today?"

The pastry dropped from his mouth.

_Days until free rent... 173_

"Why do you keep saying Gilga's gonna be crushed?! The one I have a date with  _is_  Gilga!" Nelliel watched the blue-haired male pace his floor. It was the first time she actually been inside Grimmjow's apartment but this was hardly the time to admire it. She was fucking  _desperate_! All she did in the last three days was awkwardly kiss the tall black-haired man  **once** _ **— once!**_ _,_ and she was so damn nervous she ended up laughing halfway through! Who the fuck does that?!

Grimmjow stopped pacing to stare at Nelliel. "Say wha—?"

"Nnoitra-kun,  _I can even call him by his given name!_ " She giggled then cleared her throat, "Nnoitra-kun and myself have a date today... sort of. I mean, its Wednesday and we're both going to the party thing today."

"So its not really a date?"

"I don't know! I mean, it could be?"

"And this is after the kiss which made you laugh?"

"I— _He told you about that?!_ "

"Bros don't keep secrets and Gilga and I are bros, or roll dogs if you prefer." Nelliel facepalmed. "Just be happy you didn't laugh while he was fucking ya."

Nelliel lifted her face from her hands. "I did not mean to laugh! He rubbed my neck while I tilted my head, it felt good. I didn't laugh because it was funny! I laughed because I was happy!  _Everyone_  does it!" The green-haired woman groaned. "I'm a shame to porn stars everywhere! I mean I kiss behind the camera all the time without even moving and when it comes to a guy I like I  _laugh!_ And if I laughed during sex then I'd really be a disgrace to adult film stars everywhere."

"Yeah, this is all well and good Sugarplum but what does it have to do with me? I mean, why are you telling me this?"

"Who the fuck else can I tell!? I don't know Nnoitra-kun that well but I know you two hang around and I mean its not like you have a whole bunch of friends! Hitsugaya-kun doesn't give a shit, I can never find Kei-chan and your buddy, Starrk-san, seems to take great pleasure in avoiding me!"

"Starrk just doesn't do shit that's too much trouble."

" _I'm_  too much trouble?!" Grimmjow shrugged. "Argh! I think Berry would give me good advice."

"His apartment is right next door." Nelliel's eyes narrowed. "Speaking of which, with you – I'm sorry, between you and Arisawa smothering him the rest of us don't get to enjoy his exotic hair color—"

"You of all people should not be talking about hair color Jaegerjaquez!"

"Says you green hair." Nelliel pouted, "my point is I can't extend a neighborly welcome with you glomping him and crushing him with your twin weapons of mass destruction."

"Grimmjow,  _no!_  I like Ichigo! Don't scare him off!"

"When have I ever scared anyone off?" Nelliel rolled her eyes with a sigh. What kind of bullshit question was that? Why else would everyone spread all sorts of rumors?! "Relax, would ya? He doesn't seem like the type to break with the smallest provocation so you don't have to worry your pretty little head."

"I don't like your tone. You have this sick notion that anyone who moves in has to be able to tolerate your bullshit." Grimmjow shrugged half-heartedly. "And the shit about you 'saving' apartment 3-I for someone doesn't mean you have to be a dick to anyone else interested in it." Before the blue-haired male could say anything Nelliel held up her hand. "Three tenants Grimmjow. Two innocent people and Cifer, who really wasn't all that innocent to begin with, left this floor because you decided to fuck with them...  _on a whim!_ "

"Can I talk now?" Pouting, the green-haired woman nodded. "For the record,  _I_ personally did nothing to make anyone leave because if I did Cifer sure as hell wouldn't still be living in this building nor would he have use of his limbs. I don't discriminate when I mess around with my neighbors, you know that." Nelliel's pout deepened. "And just think if a  _real_  insufferable asshole decided to grace this building with their presence, what then?"

"I don't see how anyone could be more insufferable than you... except maybe Urahara-san." Nelliel shuddered almost violently. "My point is if you somehow cause Berry to leave this building or even this floor you'll have a building war on your hands and let me be the first to tell you I'll be the one starting it." Grimmjow shrugged again. "I'm all for making this place fun for everyone but if you're gonna weed out shit tenants show some proper decorum, yeah?"

"Alright Greenzilla, I understand where you're coming from and I can't make any promises but I'll try."

"Thank you. That's all I ask. Oh! Actually, I have one more thing to ask of you... my boss is coming here today for the party and if you piss her off I'm gonna lose jobs which means  _you_  are going to lose oxygen when I kill you!"

"I'm going out of my way to help you get fucked by my lanky buddy and you have the gall to threaten me?" Nelliel groaned. She almost forgot her main reason for coming here was to help get fucked by Nnoitra. You'd think a porn star wouldn't have trouble getting laid. On camera fine but off camera... not so much, "now, your boss... blonde with the massive rack? May or may not be casually sexing up our landlord?" This time Nelliel couldn't stop herself from violently shuddering.

"Come on dude, I already have to hear about her sexing up Zaraki-san at work.  _And_  no one even knows if its true! There's a pool going on about it and I thought about trying to catch them but that would be too weird. I mean, Harribel-san is like an older sister to me—"

"Not really that much older." Nelliel glared at him. "What? You two are like a year or two apart. Maybe just a few months—"

" _As I was saying!_  My landlord and my boss?! No. I don't even want to think about it!"

"How else do you think you got that sweet apartment of yours? Not to mention the other actors that take residence here? This building is filled with students and porn stars; the students are from the same school the landlord graduated so..." Nelliel facepalmed. Whether coincidental or not, it was a sad but true statement. Most of Nelliel's primary co-stars were cruising around the building, sometimes they all went to work together. Much like how the students of Hōgyoku congregated by the N or G-H staircases going to school most mornings.

"I told you I don't want to think about it!" A knock at the door had both of them pause. Nelliel had just gotten up, presumably to strangle Grimmjow, when they both turned to the door. "Are you expecting someone?"

"That isn't my door." Frowning, Nelliel pulled the blue-haired male up and they crept over to the door pressing their ears against it. Or at least Grimmjow tried to. "Move your fucking tits Odelschwanck!"

"Like I can really do that! And I'll have you know lots of men enjoy my breasts."

"When they're not suffocating between them! Unless they're into that sort of shit." Nelliel rolled her eyes then clamped a hand over Grimmjow's mouth as she heard a woman's voice. It was unlikely Hitsugaya had any guests – especially considering he still wasn't in his apartment despite the fact that it was fixed two days ago. Though he would never admit it, the white-haired teen seemed quite fond of Keigo's company but, understandably so, Keigo was just a joy to be around and with a building filled with so many assholes Keigo's pleasant nature was welcomed. Even with the mouth on his hand Grimmjow reached up to unlock his door and as Nelliel protested his actions he opened the door anyway spotting a brunette standing outside Ichigo's apartment. It was a good thing the doors opened to the right because he wouldn't be able to see anything if he was trying to look into 3-K.

Gasping, Nelliel released Grimmjow's mouth. "Who is that woman?" She whispered.

"How the hell should I know? Its probably his mom or something."

"No way! She looks too young!" Nelliel hissed. She'd seen Ichigo's father and he was quite the dilf but Ichigo didn't really resemble the man in behavior or appearance so by the process of elimination he had to get those things from his mother. Nelliel narrowed her eyes trying to get a better look at this mysterious and beautiful woman. She wasn't much a purveyor on picking up chicks (and evidently neither was Grimmjow) but if this was Ichigo's mother not only was he a prime cut of beef but he had two fuckable, visually appealing parents; Nelliel could only imagine what his siblings looked like. And she hoped they were closer to her age than Ichigo – wait, how old was he anyway?

"The fuck? Don't drool on me!" Nelliel looked down at Grimmjow noticing a spot of his hair was slightly darker than the rest then wiped her mouth. Because of her breasts, Grimmjow opted to crouch lower so he couldn't be assaulted by them but he was probably rethinking that after getting slobbered on.

"Ichigo!" The woman shrieked halfway sticking out of the apartment. "Your father's talking to the landlord. Uryū-kun told us about the festival and we decided to show up!" Nelliel and Grimmjow exchanged glances only for them to lunge forward in the hall having the woman and Ichigo staring at them.

Grimmjow looked up as much as he could with Nelliel crushing him seeing a white-haired guy with a bag over his shoulder. "Hey."

Ichigo blinked staring at the newcomer even more bewildered by him than Nelliel and Grimmjow toppling out of the latter's apartment. The orange-haired teen had a pretty good memory but the only white-haired person he saw in the whole building was Hitsugaya and this guy was no Hitsugaya. He had to be around the same height as Ichigo and his white hair was I some kind of mohawk or whatever it was called.

Ichigo heard his mother gasp then followed her eyes to the trio one door down. Masaki blushed slightly; Isshin, Yuzu and Karin spoke of a blue-haired gentlemen in the apartment next to Ichigo's but she never saw him. Then again, this was her second time here – and she'd have to talk to her husband about making several visits without her.

"Kensei!" Nelliel chirped as he helped her then Grimmjow up. He winced as Nelliel embraced him. "Back from Brazil? Did you bring me anything? You look a bit tanner."

"Ha! I  _knew_  he was doing some kind of porn thing!"

"I was not!" Kensei cleared his throat at the unconvinced stares he was getting. Nelliel released him frowning. "It was a school project."

"What class? Bullshit 101? Fuck, why is it so hard for you to admit you're a porn star?" The white-haired male seemed to blush at the statement before pausing and turning around facing the orange-haired guy and the brunette prompting Nelliel and Grimmjow to do the same. Mortified, Kensei buried his face into his hands groaning. Complete strangers just heard he was a porn star!? And why was this guy in Cifer's apartment?

Masaki waved awkwardly. They were too absorbed in their conversation to notice they had an audience, which was good because she was hoping it wouldn't get interrupted. "I'm Kurosaki Masaki." She said with a bow as the trio bowed back. "Thanks for taking care of my son."

Nelliel hovered over to her in an instant. "T-The pleasure is all ours Kurosaki-san." For someone who wasn't into women, Nelliel sure was quick to be smitten. Masaki tilted her head glancing at the green-haired, starry-eyed woman in front of her. She looked... familiar. Like one of the women on the DVD covers Isshin hid from her (or at least attempted to – it was a good hiding place but she still found them; women's intuition and whatnot). She didn't really understand the appeal in pornography but she caught Yuzu and Karin staring at one of these films a little too intently. "I'm Odelschwanck Nelliel Tu!" She squealed. Kensei and Grimmjow merely shook their heads. This was the expected reaction when someone new met her not when she met someone new.

"Who are your friends?"

"Friends?" The green-haired woman scoffed. "Hardly. Blue-hair is Jaegerjaquez Grimmjow and white-hair is Muguruma Kensei. I don't really know where Kensei lives but Grimmjow is right next door."

"In the apartment you two came out of?"

Nelliel blushed waving her arms defensively. "We were just talking!" Masaki rose an eyebrow. "H-He's nowhere near close to my type, I was actually just getting advice!" The brunette seemed sated with that answer so Nelliel sighed in relief. This woman was as terrifying as her dads were! Scratch that, she was  _more_  terrifying! She sort of felt bad for Ichigo.

"Are you three coming to the festival?" At the same time Nelliel all but screamed yes, Grimmjow and Kensei replied no; in fact one of them, probably Grimmjow (though it could have been Kensei who seemed to hate these things more than the blue-haired male), replied hell no. There wasn't that much space between them but they got a little closer in the midst of Nelliel's fangirling. Nelliel glared at them receiving a shrug in reply.

Ichigo couldn't help but sigh as they got chummy chatting up with his mother. Sometimes the woman was too damn friendly for her own good. "Ichigo!" Everyone's head whipped around at the grinning black-haired man jogging in place by the middle staircase. The orange-haired teen barely had time to react as he was embraced. "How is my son doing?" Isshin released his son as soon as he laid eyes on Nelliel. "Hello again Nelliel-chan." Isshin yelped as his wife grabbed his right ear.

Ichigo shook his head as his father questioned why his wife was grabbing his ear. Greeting a porn star on a first name basis in front of your wife? Especially when saying hello  _again?_ Not exactly the smartest thing the old man ever did. Despite the fact that he was sure his mother knew not necessarily who Nelliel was but exactly what she did Ichigo was not going to help his father out on this one – at least while his mother still latched onto him.

"Ichigo~" He blinked as Nelliel was looking up at him grinning. "I wanna introduce you to this guy." Ichigo glanced at his parents who appeared to be arguing before allowing himself to be led by Nelliel a few steps over to Grimmjow and this white-haired fellow. "Ichi, this is..."

"Kensei." The white-haired man replied with a bow. Ichigo bowed back.

"He's not as much of a jerk as Grimmjow."

"So, you replaced Cifer huh? Hell of an improvement." Grimmjow only nodded in agreement which, in turn, made Ichigo blush slightly. Kenpachi told him to interact with Grimmjow more but Ichigo didn't exactly know how to do that without seeming weird. All the shit he heard about Grimmjow yet he didn't really see any of it in action; Ichigo couldn't help but wonder if it was good luck or great timing? Or if just jinxed himself by thinking?

"Ichigo!" Masaki released her husband's face in time to watch a bespectacled redhead walk up to her son beaming. "Guess what? I officially moved into the building!" The redhead announced proudly then paused at the sight of Nelliel. "Who is your friend?"

"My question exactly."

"Front row seats to a cat fight. Think Red can take Odelschwanck?" Kensei whispered.

"Shit dude, definitely. Odelschwanck's a lover, not a fighter." Grimmjow whispered back.

"I'm sure we're all dying to know who this young lady is." Ichigo flinched as his mother's hand came on his shoulder. "I'm Kurosaki Masaki, Ichigo's mother and he's Ichigo's father, Isshin." Isshin bowed holding his swollen cheeks finally freed from his wife's abuse.

"Oh!" The redhead bowed. "I'm Honshō Chizuru. Your son helped me get better acquainted with the building." Kensei and Grimmjow coughed at that. Nelliel turned to glare at them while they shrugged innocently. At the sliver of blue she saw from her peripheral vision Chizuru figured this was that blue-haired asshole menace tenant her neighbors on the fourth floor told her about. She initially wanted the apartment directly above Ichigo's but 4-I was taken so she settled for 4-J which might not have been the best idea since she was right above the troublesome tenant's apartment. The landlord, however, had been more than thrilled to get her rent and damage deposit money; and he kept thanking her until he opened the door for her – hell he didn't even ask for the key money! "Ah! Shihōin-san!"

As if the floor wasn't crowded enough here came the purple-haired real estate agent. "Shihōin-san!?" Isshin and Masaki echoed.

Yoruichi walked over to the group. "Hey. Is there some kind of gathering going on here?"

"You actually came? You know Harribel-san is coming, right?" Yoruichi rolled her eyes. "I was just asking."

Yoruichi laughed. "Oh Nell, you assume I care if she's here or not. There's no bad blood between me and the big shot movie maker."

"Is that a fact?" Everyone eyed the blonde coming down the hall from the A staircase. "You're as loud as ever Yoruichi."

"Tier." Amber eyes narrowed.

"Been a while." She glanced at the group inspecting them individually. "Jaegerjaquez." He saluted, "Muguruma you're back?" Blushing, Kensei nodded. "And  _this_  must be Kurosaki-kun, I hear a lot about you."

Chizuru practically gravitated to the blonde. "I-Its an honor to meet you Harribel-san!" She bowed and the blonde smirked. "I love you – I mean your...  _your work_  – I love  _your work_ so much!" The redhead purred as Tier stroked under her chin.

"Cute. Where's Arisawa?" Nelliel pointed down the hall. "Muguruma, you're coming with me." Sighing, he nodded shuffling over to the buxom blonde. She was a demon that had him and most of the other men in this building by the balls and that solely did not mean her employees. The blonde turned to Masaki and Isshin. "And I'm to assume you two are responsible for Hueco Noches' latest piece of eye candy?"

"Yup!" Isshin winced when Masaki elbowed him in the stomach. "I mean, I don't know what you're talking about." He wheezed. Masaki rolled her eyes. It was just like high school all over again; these damn suitors crowding her baby! Though, by the looks of things he seemed to have way more now than he did then!

"I apologize for my rudeness." She bowed and Isshin, Ichigo and Chizuru (who she didn't stop petting) tried their hardest not to stare at her chest. Particularly Isshin who was getting scrutinizing glances from his wife. "I'm Harribel Tier, owner and creator of La Tiburón—"

"—which is a porn company—" Grimmjow winced as Nelliel stepped on his foot.

"He isn't wrong." Tier shrugged, "I'm not ashamed of it." She shrugged again. "I enjoy what I do though Shihōin scorns me for it."

"Oh here we go." Yoruichi rolled her eyes. "I did not  _scorn_  you Harribel. I hated you for a completely different reason that I won't talk about in mixed company! Ichigo, I need to talk to you." Before the orange-haired teen could reply he was being dragged down the hall.

"Ah, its good I can still get her riled up." Nelliel and Grimmjow exchanged glances frowning. "Anyway. It was good to meet you two." Tier bowed. "Hope to see you at the party later." She patted Chizuru's face. "If you're interested we could always use more redheads." The bespectacled teen nodded enthusiastically. "Muguruma, Odelschwanck, we're going."

Nelliel pointed to herself, "what?! Me too?" Tier looked over her shoulder nodding. "Right..." She said with a sigh. "Nice seeing you again Kurosaki-san and nice meeting you, uh, Kurosaki-san?"

"Masaki is fine."

"Masaki-san!" Nelliel cleared her throat then bowed. "I will see you guys around." She skipped after Tier.

"Jaegerjaquez-kun?" Grimmjow fully turned toward the brunette, "my son isn't any trouble is he?"

"Be—uh, Ichi? Nah. Everyone loves him." Grimmjow furrowed his eyebrows at the woman's frown.

"Is that so?" Grimmjow nodded slowly. "Well, if you are not going to the party I suppose I will see you around since you live next door to Ichigo." She bowed then her oddly silent husband did the same before they walked into 3-I.

"Grimmjow!" The blue-haired male turned around spotting Keigo running toward him. "I heard all this noise from downstairs, what's going on?"

"Not me, Orangeberry's folks brought the noise and Harribel showed up too. Along with some other people I don't really know." Keigo whistled. "Seen Gilga?"

"No. He said he had a date with Odelschwanck-san tonight and was looking for someone to talk to."

Grimmjow rose an eyebrow. "What the hell for?"

"Help."

"Help!? He's trying to fuck a porn star, its not like he's trying to turn lead into gold. Whatta fucking moron." Keigo shrugged. "Where'd you last see him?"

"On the sixth floor." Grimmjow's eyebrows furrowed. "There's a snack machine on the seventh floor."

"Here too."

"Yeah but I needed ice too."

"You went all the way to the seventh floor for  _ice_?! Don't you live on the second floor?! Isn't there ice there?"

"Zaraki-san is fixing the ice machine on my floor so I had to go to the seventh for ice and while I was at it I decided to get a snack. On my way up I saw Nnoitra knocking on 6-M... or was it 6-L?"

Keigo flinched as Grimmjow grabbed his shoulders shaking him lightly. "Don't spazz on me now Asano, Gilga's whereabouts? 6-L or 6-M?" Keigo shrugged slowly. "You know if Cifer lives in one of those apartments I'm gonna get another fine."

"I don't think he'd ask Cifer-kun about this sort of thing, maybe he went to talk to one of Odelschwanck-san's co-stars? Some AV porn stars from La Tiburón live here and—"

Grimmjow covered his mouth, "lets just go. If Gilga gets all whinny and desperate I wouldn't want to miss it." With his mouth still covered Keigo nodded.

— — — —

Yoruichi was sitting on the stairs between the first and second floor while Ichigo was leaning against the wall. "So, the cute blue-haired kid was this 'troublesome' tenant living next door to you?" With a sigh, Ichigo nodded. "I see you made pretty good progress getting Honshō-chan to move in. You have the makings of a good real estate agent Ichigo, I'm proud of you."

"Thanks?"

"No problem. I know its not really professional for a real estate agent to have her client meet a landlord alone but Kenpachi insisted. So I did what he asked but I never imagined you'd be networking. Did he put you up to the task?" Ichigo shook his head. "Huh... you must really want that free rent then."

"Its not about that!" Ichigo cleared his throat. "I was caught off guard when she asked me about moving in then I offhandedly mentioned Hōgyoku university and all that stuff—"

"Ah! She spoke to you about bathing suits and whatnot so you told her about the summer uniforms. Very nice. You're even more devious than I've ever given you credit for. Bravo Ichi—"

"No bravo! I'm not devious and I didn't even do it on purpose!"

"Well we need to work on that." Yoruichi waved him off, "anyway I'm not here for that. Despite not being told about this little get together from you..." Ichigo sighed, "I came to help with your ... _thing._ " Ichigo rose an eyebrow. "I have some information on your little buddy. Some of the tenants told me he's got a shitload of allergies: peanuts, shellfish, certain dairy products, you name it! Now I wasn't told any of the specifics, other than peanuts, but I'm sure I can find that out. More important than that is the tenant of 3-H. Word around the rumor mill is that that person is like his secret lifeline or something. Get to them and you'll have that 3-J bastard tamed in no time. Its similar to my relationship with Harribel." Yoruichi blushed, "although I was the bastard that got tamed... but that's irrelevant! Get in good with this guy and—"

"I'd hate to interrupt your little monologue but Zaraki-san already told me this." Yoruichi pouted, "if you could tell me  _how_  that would be much appreciated."

"Oh, no problem. I can definitely do that. The best way to gain a solid friendship is through the universal language of food~" Yoruichi paused, " _but_  that might be difficult with all the food allergies the kid has. Okay maybe it won't be as easy as I originally thought but I'm all for improvising. The secret is definitely finding out who is in 3-H."

"3-H, got it." If he remembered correctly when he moved in Hitsugaya told him that Grimmjow's best friend lived in 3-H and they often communicated loudly through the walls. However, Yumichika said Ulquiorra had to deal with  _just_  Grimmjow so meaning whoever was the resident of 3-H must be even worse than Grimmjow... if possible. Yumichika did say that but even he wasn't sure. The only way he'd know for sure would be to ask around. But who, other than Grimmjow, might know the answer to that question? Who did Grimmjow hang out with somewhat regularly? Every time Ichigo saw him he was by himself. Everyone said that Nnoitra knew a little bit about everyone's business but Ichigo only spoke to the guy once since he's been in this apartment.

Occasionally, Grimmjow spoke to Nelliel – like in that time earlier today when they were in his apartment but she didn't know who this guy was she only assumed he (or she) was hot due to the fact that they associated with Grimmjow.

There was that brunet Mizuiro seemed fond of, he even  _said_  he was a friend of Grimmjow. If only Ichigo could remember his name and what apartment he said he lived in.

"Why are you daydreaming? Remembering something good? Something that might help you with the 3-J tenant? Don't just stand there man! Think!  _Think_!"

"Its no good. I can't think of anything."

"Ah! Dammit! We'll just have to jog your memory. When did it happen?" Ichigo shrugged. "Of course. We'll worry about that later, lets explore this building."

"I've already done that. Besides, my parents are in my apartment waiting to talk."

"Why? Are you in trouble?"

"When am I not in trouble?"

— — — —

"—And so... that's pretty much the whole story." Nnoitra looked up at the nodding blond.

"How sad." He put his drink down on the table. "Its kinda unprofessional for Odelschwanck of all people to do something like that." The blond tsked, "don't beat yourself up kid. No one gets it right the first time; sometimes it takes the first few times. Even some professionals have trouble getting it right." He crooked his finger beckoning the black-haired male closer. "Practice makes perfect after all, the next time you kiss that broad she'll melt in your hands. I'm not La Tiburón's top actor for nothing."

"Uh, sensei, exactly who am I supposed to practice with?"

"Me, obviously. You came to me for advice, right?" Nnoitra nodded slowly. "Don't worry about stealing you away from her. I'm more interested in having sex on camera, its a weird kink I haven't been able to work through. Of course I shouldn't worry about getting over it now that I'm still in the limelight but I suppose I should at least attempt to work on it—"

"Sensei?"

"Huh? Oh yes. Get over here, Gilga was it? Show me how you got Odelschwanck to laugh at your kissing." Nnoitra blushed. "Now now, no need to be coy I'm not as heartless as Odelschwanck. If you're kissing skills – or lack thereof – are really as pathetic as I suspect I will wait until the appropriate time to laugh about it." Nnoitra's left eyebrow twitched. "Well don't dawdle dammit."

Nnoitra gulped slowly rising to his feet. Truthfully, it was sort of an accident that he came to ask Ōtoribashi Rōjūrō, or Rose for short, of La Tiburón for advice about Nelliel. He was just wandering the building mulling over what he did when the blond suddenly opened the door. The black-haired male had no idea why he wandered to the sixth floor but hey, never look a gift horse in the mouth. Well he had an inkling but that plan wasn't exactly the smartest either. Nnoitra heard of other porn stars living in Hueco Noches but other than Nelliel he never saw any – hell, the first time he saw Nelliel was a few days ago!

"You're getting nervous Gilga-kun." Rose tsked him, "how will you expect to sweep anyone off their feet if you remain in such a state? You need to be confident. Get up here and I'll show you how its done." Gulping, Nnoitra was set to comply when there was a ringing at the doorbell. "Damn... my fun's being cut short. Sit." The black-haired male sat seiza style as Rose got up and answered the door. "Ah, Cifer-kun, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

Nnoitra's right eye widened. Cifer? As in Cifer Grimmjow's mortal enemy Ulquiorra? The black-haired male gulped. This was not good. Never mind the fact that he actually was looking for Ulquiorra for assistance if Grimmjow found out any of this he'd make his other eye unusable a _nd that would suck_. The first time was an accident but this time wouldn't be so lucky.

Ulquiorra entered the apartment and his expressionless green eyes glanced at Nnoitra's still form. "Why do you have Gilga in your apartment? You're not  _involved_  with him, are you?"

"Heavens no! I barely know him. He's here for a kissing lesson. Poor thing showed up out of the blue so I decided to help him."

"I believe he must have been looking for me."

"Well he was one apartment off. We both have impressive skills in the bedroom or wherever but why don't you let me handle this. Inoue-chan might get pretty jealous if she heard about you making out with Gilga-kun."

"Inoue doesn't get jealous and I never said I would make out with Gilga." Nnoitra flinched as Ulquiorra shuddered. "The thought alone is repulsive."

"Not really. Gilga-kun is kinda cute, in an unconventional sort of way."

"You always had unusual taste." Rose gaped at him. "Gilga." Nnoitra flinched turning to Ulquiorra. "You wanted my help since I'm dating Inoue?" He nodded slowly. "You intend on keeping this from Jaegerjaquez? I'd hate to get involved in another floor war."

"What even started the first one?"

Ulquiorra sighed, "it was simply a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I've been subtly trying to get Jaegerjaquez to a different apartment but subtle doesn't work for him so I tried a more direct approach. When he found out we exchanged a few words, then fists, then the entire floor erupted in some kind of fight."

"Wait a minute.  _You_  started the floor war with Jaegerjaquez? I always thought he started it."

"No. He said if everyone thought it was him he wouldn't care."

"Sounds to me like you two are closer than you let on."

Ulquiorra's eyes narrowed. "Back to you Gilga, why did you need my help? Who would possibly want to kiss you?"

"You fucking jerk. I'll have you know lots of people want a piece of me." Ulquiorra seemed torn between laughing – which was impossible since the bastard barely made the effort to make facial expressions – and scowling. "The adult film star Odelschwanck Nelliel wants to kiss me! We actually did but she laughed in the middle of it."

"Is it due to your lack of experience or was she simply put off?"

"You're a real bastard, you know that?" Ulquiorra nodded. "It was neither! A-Actually, I don't know  _why_  she laughed! I'm here to find that out!"

The quirk of Ulquiorra's lips pissed Nnoitra off. The black-haired male turned to Rose. "Is it okay to watch? I always enjoyed watching Gilga make an ass out of himself."

"Sure, you can watch, pitch in, whatever." Rose grabbed Nnoitra by the collar. "Pucker up Gilga-kun."

— — — —

He sensed trouble and Chad was always fond of staying out of trouble. Sure, as a kid he loved picking fights just for the hell of it but he grew out of that phase and simply wanted to enjoy peace. The brunet sighed as he saw Uryū and Tatsuki with their arms folded avoiding one another's direction. If they wanted to act like brats that was fine but why did they have to do it here? Since Tatsuki lived here she knew about the building's little party but Ichigo told Uryū that day at the batting cages. She should have realized he would show up – show up while bringing Ichigo's family was a bit unexpected though.

When Ichigo's parents saw him they immediately bear hugged him. Ever since the death of his grandfather Chad was living on his own but he still kept in contact with the Kurosaki being one of Ichigo's closest friends. Despite being in contact, he rarely went over because they treated him like their son and based on Ichigo's experience he got fussed over a lot and Chad really didn't want to deal with that so he maintained an appropriate distance ...that got him quite the scolding. Back to the current situation, based on what Ichigo told him prior to moving out Uryū always went to his place along with Rukia, a begrudging Byakuya and Mizuiro. Since Ichigo hadn't been in contact with Tatsuki all these years it was obvious his parents wouldn't be either. Since Ichigo's father saw Tatsuki when he came over (several times) he was pretty damn convincing acting as if he hadn't seen in her years instead of a few days.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence, Tatsuki stood glaring at Uryū. "I don't know what your problem is with me." She practically spat.

Uryū stood as well returning the glare. "You are mistaken Arisawa. I have no quarrel with you." Tatsuki rose an eyebrow in disbelief. "It is your idea of being Ichigo's best friend that appalls me."

"What? Like you're any better?"

Rolling his eyes, Uryū adjusted his glasses. "It wasn't me that disappeared for eight years and never kept in contact. It wasn't me that hurt Ichigo time and time again whether it was physical or emotional."

"You son of a—"

Chad slammed his hand against the wall effectively shutting them up. "That's enough." They turned to him stunned somewhat. "The way you two are now none of you are remotely fit to be Ichigo's best friend or a friend of any kind." He sighed, "why are you two so hung up on this?" At their blush and sudden silence Chad found his answer. They could care less about being the orange-haired teen's  _best friend_  because they were both interested in being more than just friends with him. He didn't have the heart to tell either of them Ichigo would probably never think of any of them in such a way. Oh well! Time to fuck with their heads a little. That'll get their attention off harassing poor Ichigo. Besides, if they were really having a conversation about who knew Ichigo the best the brunet would win hands down but that was neither here nor there. Chad looked between the two of them still sulking. "You should know there is one person that knows Ichigo better than both of you combined."

Wide-eyed they both looked at him then they looked at one another before looking back at Chad. "If you're not talking about yourself..."Tatsuki began.

"You don't mean...  _him_ , do you?" Uryū interrupted adjusting his glasses.

Chad nodded. "That doesn't count! They're family for crying out loud!" Tatsuki replied.

"Doesn't matter. They're family by birth but friends by choice." Uryū and Tatsuki exchanged glances again. If it was one thing the two of them could agree on (aside from the fact that the other wasn't fit to be near Ichigo) it was their shared dislike of Ichigo's slightly older cousin. Chad liked the guy but he was more civilized than Uryū and Tatsuki once they got into  _bed Ichigo_  mode. Hell, he was probably more civilized than them by nature but that also was neither here nor there.

"I'm surprised you didn't invite him here too. Shit, why did you bring Ichigo's parents?"

"It was a slip of the tongue. I didn't think Ichigo didn't mention this to them but they'd be pissed if they weren't invited so I did Ichigo a favor bringing them here."

Tatsuki rolled her eyes, "why didn't you invite  _your_  father?"

"Why would I? For all we know he's probably already here being 'friends' with Ichigo's father and whatnot." Tatsuki rolled her eyes again. Uryū and his father, Ryūken, had serious issues but due to Uryū being so damn private no one truly knew why; it was well-known, however, that Uryū got along great with his father's father. Oh! But Uryū's dad and Ichigo's parents seemed to have a close friendship – Uryū wasn't all that thrilled about that fact however which was a bit unusual seeing how he and Ichigo were good friends (but Uryū didn't know his father was friends with Ichigo's parents until  _after_  he and Ichigo became friends).

"Speaking of friends... I'm sure Rukia and her brother are around, right? I haven't seen them in years! We should look for them."

"By the way Arisawa, what school do you attend?" Tatsuki rose an eyebrow. "I know Karakura is a big school but your presence cannot be so easily overlooked."

"It sounds like you tried to insult me in a nice way Ishida." Uryū shrugged. "I don't go do Karakura; I attend Hōgyoku."

Uryū scoffed. "I should have known. You know Hōgyoku is most recognized for their – how should I put this? - extracurricular activities right? And the fact that the place is swarming with perverts doesn't really help its reputation much either."

"What the fuck are you insinuating you four-eyed bastard?"

And they were back to fight mode. Chad decided now was as good a time as any to kick them both out of his apartment before their idiocy became contagious. And he did just that, in the midst of their latest argument Chad grabbed each of them by the hand and led them to the front of his apartment door and closed said door ...probably in their faces but they were too preoccupied to notice.

As Ichigo's currently only sane friend in the area he had to talk to the orange-haired teen but he still heard Tatsuki and Uryū arguing so leaving was not an option right now. He picked up his cell intent on calling Ichigo when the aforementioned male called him first. "Moshi moshi?"

"Hey. I think I hear Tatsuki and Uryū arguing... which shouldn't be possible since you're on the floor below mine."

"Its possible." His sigh only made Ichigo laugh on the other line. "You called just to ask me that?"

"No, I need a distraction. My parents decided to turn my apartment into an interrogation room, specifically my mom, and they'd still be questioning me if Uryū's dad hadn't shown up with Rukia and Mizuiro."

"So no Byakuya-san?"

"Didn't see him." It was rare for Rukia not to drag her brother around with her for whatever reason. The man was terrifying  _and_  unsociable but Rukia swore he was a good guy and to prove said unbelievable fact she always had him in her company. Chad was not the kind of man who scared easily but even he was afraid of Rukia's older brother. Ichigo sighed. "Alright. They're still arguing, right? Make sure you lock your door and slip out the deck. They have keys for that thing too, right?"

Truthfully, Chad didn't know. He never had a reason to escape through the back patio. "I'll check." Gathering his belongings, the brunet locked his front door then walked to the back of the apartment inspecting the patio door. There was a key hole but the brunet didn't know if he had the key. "There is a key hole but..."

"But?"

"I don't think I have the key."

"Hmm... then we'll move onto plan B." Judging by the tone of his voice Ichigo was up to no good; the orange-haired male was always pretty damn reckless but he wouldn't think of jumping out of his back patio... would he? It was three stories high!

— — — —

"You do realize you owe me big time for this, don't you? I'm breaking all sorts of confidentiality rules and whatnot!" The green-haired woman folded her arms over her chest nodding.

"You wouldn't be breaking any rules Mashiro, we work together! I know all about the confidentiality agreements." The hazel-eyed green-haired woman rolled her eyes but put her arms at her sides. "Besides, exactly what 'confidentiality' rules would you be breaking?"

"Oh I don't know Nell,  _all of them_?!" It was Nelliel's turn to roll her eyes. "What if this affects your work? We're kind of a packaged deal, remember? I'm the only girl you'd willingly sleep with. If you lose jobs then I'm going to lose jobs too!"

Tier was ridiculously open-minded; despite Nelliel's protests about being as heterosexual as physically possible the blonde demon insisted that she at least sleep with one woman on camera. She said it would boost her popularity or something ...and boy was the boss ever right with this one. Nelliel still couldn't even go in some places without getting swarmed with horny porn fans. It took a while to find a girl Nelliel could get slightly interested in experimenting in. Eventually, Tier found Kuna Mashiro – a rookie in the adult film world – and Nelliel, as conceited as it sounded, found that since Mashiro somewhat resembled her it wouldn't be too impossible to touch the green-haired girl sexually. After all, it would be similar to masturbating ...but Mashiro wasn't as busty or tall but Nelliel did, infrequently, picture herself with a smaller rack and if she wanted shorter/brighter hair while being at least 20cm shorter she and Mashiro could be identical twins. So ever since she and Mashiro did one fucking film together whenever Nelliel had to shoot some girl on girl shit they called her hyperactive green-haired doppelgänger. Fortunately, Nelliel didn't have to be in scenes with Mashiro that often but they did work together a lot.

"Relax. I am not interested in some nobody from a rival company. He's an ordinary guy; maybe a student or something." Mashiro stared at her unconvinced which was a rare expression for the normally happy girl.

Mashiro sighed; something else sort of rare. "What do you want me to do, exactly? In detail."

"I need you to find every La Tiburón actor in this building." Mashiro nodded. "Particularly Rose; that bastard has an annoying habit of putting his fat nose in my business talking shit about how I don't recognize him unless he's thrusting into me." Nelliel shuddered. "You can tell that bastard I won't be recognized unless my expression is one of feigned ecstasy!"

Mashiro nodded, "thrusting and feigned ecstasy. Got it. Now onto what you want me to do?"

"Huh? Oh right! See if Nnoitra is with them!" Mashiro rose both eyebrows. "He's not in his apartment so I'm assuming he went to talk to one of my co-stars whom I've kissed on occasional."

"Right... since you laughed at him."

Nelliel's eyes widened. " _Does everyone know!?_ " Mashiro shrugged. Sure, Gilga— _Nnoitra—_ knew everyone's business so it shouldn't be too much of a surprise that his business was just put out there but his current business involved  **her**  and that wasn't cool. "Who told you?"

Mashiro locked her hands behind her head. "Kensei. You know he came back today? I think Harribel-san works him hard. No pun intended of course."

"Kensei?! Who the fu—" Nelliel facepalmed. Never in a million years did Nelliel think Muguruma Kensei could be one of Grimmjow's friends. Well, hot guys seemed to travel in packs... almost like wolves. No, hot people in general enjoyed the company of their own kind. But this building was about to be short of two hot people once Nelliel got her hands around those idiots!

Obviously, Gil— _Nnoitra—_ told Grimmjow and Grimmjow told Kensei but who the hell told the entire building? Mashiro was indeed a blabbermouth but it couldn't be her. Nnoitra wouldn't blab on himself to everyone that was more reserved for him talking about other people's shit... at least that was what Nelliel heard. Wait, did everyone truly know or was it just Grimmjow's close friends which meant Kensei and Grimmjow had to be pretty close for the white-haired man to even know in the first place and Mashiro was always paling around Kensei even outside of work so, despite what Kensei said, they were friends too. Shit, this was confusing!

"You're gonna give yourself a heart attack if you stress like that~" Nelliel glared at her shorter doppelgänger. "I'm just saying. Anyways cheer up, I doubt anyone cares about your man not being able to satisfy you. You should be happy he's looking for help. The sex will be so much better."

"What did Kensei tell you!?"

"That the Gilga dude couldn't get it up or something? No! Kensei didn't tell me anything actually... It was Jaegerjaquez but it was hard to understand him with all the laughing." Nelliel grit her teeth. "Kensei was just standing there being all menacing and whatnot. There was a short white-haired guy too and a brunet. Two brunets really. The whole thing is such a—"

Mashiro yelped as Nelliel grabbed her by her shirt bringing her closer. "Not. Another. Word." Mashiro nodded. The first thing she had to do was beat Grimmjow within an inch of his life, Kensei would soon follow (along with those other assholes who seemed to enjoy her indirect suffering),  _then_  she'd beat the shit out of Nnoitra for causing this mess! She couldn't truly injure him since she was still interested in getting fucked by him but she couldn't let him get off Scot-free either. "Go look for Nnoitra. He's super lanky and wears an eyepatch and no he's not the landlord!" Mashiro nodded furiously then she was released.

The green-haired woman saluted. "Aye aye Nell-chan but you know if you didn't crush the poor kid's confidence he wouldn't have—" Mashiro yelped and ran off as Nelliel growled at her. "I don't know why I put up with you sometimes!"

She heard Mashiro reply and she could picture the stupid smile on her face too. Naturally, she sent the only rebuttal she deemed appropriate enough. "The feeling is mutual doll!"

— — — —

After getting chewed out by his parents (particularly his mother) then Uryū's father who was – more or less – like an uncle to him, Ichigo managed to free himself from his family [and people who were like family]. One of the many perks of living an apartment building instead of a house where the escape routes were limited. As they were heading one way he managed to slip down another staircase and lose them. Sure, they'd bitch at him later but a little bit of downtime was worth it. He was tempted to jump off his deck and meet Chad but his sisters were unintentionally blocking his escape route. Hell, they might have done it on purpose.

The worst part was he did nothing wrong. Unless you consider wanting to be independent a bad thing! His mother couldn't possibly suffer from empty nest syndrome – she had two kids still in the house! Was it because he was the first born? Her only son? Or was it simply because Isshin was his father? Ichigo scowled shoving his hands in his pockets. His dad screwed him over just by assisting in his birth! Ichigo rounded the corner of the staircase pausing when he saw a flushed Byakuya. Well, as flushed as Byakuya was capable of looking anyway. His clothes were as immaculate as always but strands of hair were poking out of the neat ponytail and he was slightly less pale than usual.

"Kurosaki." He said unnecessarily straightening his clothes.

"Byakuya." Ichigo stood at the top of the stairs raising an eyebrow at the black-haired male who felt the need to adjust himself once more. "You look a little... disheveled." Byakuya's eyes narrowed, which – in all honesty – was to be expected. "Care to share?"

"Not particularly."

"So something  _did_  happen but you don't want to tell me." Byakuya paused for a moment then his eyes narrowed impossibly further.

"Dammit Kurosaki, what is it you want me to say?"

Ichigo couldn't hide his grin if he tried. "Well for starters you could explain why you were slinking around like a secret agent? I'm not gonna tell Rukia or anyone." Ichigo attempted to will away his grin and was successful after a few tries so he merely stood there waiting.

Eventually, Byakuya sighed then slowly walked up the stairs until he was on the same step as Ichigo standing next to him. They were the same height so they were toe to toe and whatnot. "I was catching up with an old friend." Ichigo rose an eyebrow. Was that bullshit? It sounded like bullshit. No, it sounded unfinished. Ichigo frowned staring, urging Byakuya to continue. "You can't just let that go at that?"

"I'm afraid not Kuchiki. An 'old friend' wouldn't have you looking like you just ran a marathon. I told you I won't tell, you of all people know I'm good for it."

Byakuya rolled his gray eyes. "Is this some sort of eye for an eye? Like when Isshin-san almost caught you  _again_  with someone in your bedroom?"

Ichigo coughed. Fuck, he should have expected that. "N-No! Unless this situation is similar to that one?" Ichigo went back to raising an eyebrow but Byakuya countered by raising an eyebrow of his own. Byakuya did seem flushed but not like he was just finished having hair mussing sex; if anything it just looked like he was in post one hell of a make out session bliss. Even his lips were a bit swollen. Not that he often stared at Byakuya's mouth just for the hell of it. As tempting as said thought was. If Ichigo thought Tatsuki was dangerous she was a declawed kitten compared to Byakuya. The worst part about Byakuya was he rarely showed how dangerous he truly was; he'd kick your ass and expressionless to boot, sometimes he'd do it wordlessly too.

"It isn't." Ichigo sighed in relief then straightened up. "I was on my way over here for that festival thing Rukia told me about when I bumped into someone. We talked for a while—"

"Then you guys made out." Byakuya rose an eyebrow. "Your lips are kinda swollen."

"Astute detective work as always Kurosaki."

Ichigo put his hands behind his head, "what can I say?"

"When everything was said and done I came here and bumped into you."

"So you and your 'friend' locked lips then went your separate ways?"

"Its not quite the crisis you make it out to believe." People did stuff like that all the time but hearing about Byakuya do it seemed  _strange_. Not that Byakuya wasn't attractive enough to hoard dozens of friends with benefits but his personality would leave you to believe otherwise. He came off as frigid, prudish even – not exactly the kind of guy that would kiss you senseless then disappear.  _Okay, maybe_  he did come off as that type too. Ichigo met Rukia, and by extension her brother, in middle school after that whole bye bye Tatsuki debacle. Two new friends (and no matter what Byakuya said they were friends) didn't exactly fill the void Tatsuki left but they did lessen the pain; then Mizuiro came into the picture making things slightly better too.

Come to think of it, Ichigo never knew  _why_  he was so hung up on Tatsuki leaving. She was the first friend he ever made but she never did anything exceptionally life changing other than beat the shit out of him almost every time they made eye contact. Oh well, he was a bit of a crybaby as a child so that was probably why.

"So... you wouldn't mind telling me the name of your 'friend' would you?"

"Of course I would. In fact, I would mind terribly." Ichigo sighed. "Your nosiness will be your undoing Kurosaki."

"That's a very Byakuya like thing to say. Anyway, I'm avoiding my parents so wanna hang out?"

"I suppose."

— — — —

Mashiro knocked on the door of apartment 6-L. She took a step back so she was away from the door then started swaying left to right. When the door opened a pale, black-haired man opened the door with a raised eyebrow. "You are not Rose."

"Rose is next door."

"Really? Oh, sorry then." She bowed. "Not that it really matters but I'm Kuna Mashiro."

This girl seemed just as peppy as Orihime and until a few seconds ago Ulquiorra didn't think that was a possibility. "Cifer Ulquiorra."

" _You're_  Cifer huh?" Mashiro whistled. "Good to finally meet you. Anyway, sorry for wasting your time." She bowed once more before skipping to apartment 6-M knocking on the door. After a few seconds Rose opened the door frowning.

"Odelschwanck sent you?" He sighed tilting his head to the right.

"Yes. She also said something about feigned thrusting and orgasms..." She frowned, "I don't really remember why. Anyway, I'm looking for lanky eyepatch dude she's sprung on." Mashiro flinched as Rose grabbed her shoulders.

"I have him but you have to  _promise_  me you won't tell Odelschwanck, okay?"

"Why should I?"

"What does Odelschwanck owe you anyway? You're like her damn guard dog. She's always sicking you on people when its convenient for her." Mashiro folded her arms over her chest tilting her head to the right. "I can do other things  _and_  I can service you sexually."

"Dude, no." She opened her eyes. "I'm just doing what she asked. I won't tell no one if you don't want me to but—" She jerked her head toward the opened door of apartments 6-L. " _He_ might not."

Eyes widening, Rose leaned forward watching Ulquiorra leaning in his doorway. "Oh, don't mind me."

Rose sighed. "I'll deal with him later. If you must know and not tell Odelschwanck, I was giving Gilga – lanky eyepatch dude as you so fondly put it – kissing lessons."

"Ah. I'm guessing Nell wouldn't want to know that since he made her laugh." Mashiro flinched at the loud thud coming from in the apartment before turning back to Rose. "But why you? No offense."

"He was looking for me." Ulquiorra cut in.

Mashiro nodded. "Yeah, I can see that. You look like you can kiss." She turned back to Rose. "My silence will cost you big Ōtoribashi. I'm thinking custom made suits and all you can eat buffets big."

"Done."

"Damn, really? Shit... bargaining with you is  _way_  easier than Nelliel." They shook hands, "maybe I should have asked for something else."

"Whatever you want Mashiro, I'll do whatever I can do make it happen if you keep that delectable mouth of yours shut."

"Dude, no. I'm not sleeping with you on or off camera."

"You should take a hint Rose." The blond glared at him. "You're still kissing Gilga?"

"Must have luscious lips." Ulquiorra stared at her. "Sorry, out of line."

"If you must know  _Cifer_  I just finished and he's ready to be presented onto the world of lip locking. But alas, I do not kiss and tell."

"Dude, you just told us you kissed him."

Rose glared at Mashiro who started swaying. "Yes, I told you I kissed him but I also told you not to tell. Furthermore, I did not tell you  _how_  I kissed him."

"Is there some kind of science involved? You need two pairs of lips then – poof – you press those shits together. Occasionally some tongue is involved, infrequently are the use of teeth." Mashiro turned to Ulquiorra. "How did he get her to laugh in the first place?"

"My guess would be his face or freakishly long tongue."

"I never heard anything about long tongues being  _bad_."

"He does have a long tongue..." Rose mused tapping his chin, "it'll be more fun using that—"

"Rose!" Mashiro snapped her fingers in front of his face. "Dude, no! You can't take Nelliel's would-be boyfriend. That's wrong on so many levels."

"I can sleep with Gilga before he and Nelliel get together."

Ulquiorra shrugged, "you  _could_..."

Rose frowned, "but?"

" _But_  you'd be a total dick! Nelliel would hate you forever, more than she does now, and you might even make eyepatch swear off girls! Remember the last guy you decided to  _'help'_?"

"Yeah, he works with me now? What's the harm in... _oh_!" Rose sighed, "fine! I'll find some other pathetic freakishly long-tongued guy to sleep with."

Mashiro patted him on the shoulder, "thank you. Alright. So... what am I telling Nell, exactly?"

— — — —

"This building is so exciting." Yuzu said with a squeal.

"I'll bet. Aniki is living near students and adult film stars. Mom's gonna flip when she finds out."

Yuzu glanced at her twin, "how did you find out?"

"Mizuiro and Rukia seem to forget I'm not an idiot so they mention things they think I'm not supposed to know."

"Are you suppose to know them?"

"Know what?"

"Karin!" The black-haired girl sighed. "Did you look up whatever they were talking about?" When Karin nodded Yuzu inched closer to her. "So... what did you find out?"

"And here I was thinking you'd give me a scolding. Have you crossed over to the dark side Yuzu? Mom and Dad won't appreciate that. Then again, I doubt they'd be happy to know we watched some of Dad's old films. Aniki'll be pretty miffed too."

"Speaking of which..." Yuzu looked around. "I think we lost them."

"Good. I was hoping we did. Damn aniki slipped away but they're too busy bitching to notice. I have half a mind to curse him out." Karin sighed, "but I'm not really in the mood."

"You just want to meet some of the adult film stars in the building."

"Naturally."

" _Nnoitra_!" The twins stilled, standing near the middle staircase on the second floor. They didn't know where the hell their parents disappeared to or their brother but they were content with just walking around for now. The voice, as loud as it was, seemed to be coming from under them. "You told everyone about our kiss?"

 _Kiss_? Yuzu mouthed and Karin shrugged. Suddenly, a tall green-haired woman and an even taller black-haired man came trotting up the stairs hand in hand.

The green-haired woman stopped then glanced in their direction eyes widened.

The twins merely stared back. "Uh, we kinda heard if that's what you're wondering." Yuzu facepalmed sighing but Karin shrugged. "We weren't eavesdropping, you were just loud."

"She's almost as snarky as Berry." The green-haired woman glared at the man with the eyepatch who looked down.

The twins exchanged glances. "Berry?" They echoed.

"Oh yeah, he's a new tenant. Got bright ass—" He winced as he was elbowed. "Super bright orange hair. We call him Orangeberry but that's a bit of a mouthful so I just call him Berry."

"Do you know where he is?" Yuzu asked.

"His apartment is the next floor up, 3-I. Don't know if he's actually in though. We have some kinda of festival going on."

The green-haired woman rolled her eyes, "for God's sake Nnoitra!" She let go of him walking over to the girls. "Are you two Ichigo's sisters?" They nodded. "You kinda look like your mom." She pointed to Yuzu, "and you look your dad." She pointed at Karin who scowled. "Ichi seems like a combination of the two." Damn, she was actually hoping for him to have hot older brothers not cute little sisters. She would have even taken hot younger brothers. A cute younger brother would have been acceptable too. What could she  _possibly_  do with Ichigo's adorable little sisters? At the very most they could be used as bargaining chips but she didn't need that – at least she didn't think she did.

"So, you know where aniki is?" The darker haired twin asked. "I'm Karin and she's Yuzu."

"They're named after fruits!" They cooed then the green-haired woman cleared her throat. "I'm Nelliel and this guy is Nnoitra."

"So why are you so concerned about people knowing about your kiss?"

"Geez Yuzu, that's the kind of stuff you yell at me for?"

"I couldn't help it!" She blushed twiddling her thumbs.

"And I see you're almost as blunt as Berry." Nnoitra said with a chuckle which earned a glare from Nelliel.

"I'm an adult film star, no reason to play innocent because I'm sure you two realize that already." They blushed slightly. "I have a certain... reputation to uphold or whatever.  _He—_ " She jerked her thumb in Nnoitra's direction. "Kissed me and I may or may not have laughed."

The twins merely stared but it was obvious that they were trying to hone in their laughter.

"Now most of the frigging building seems to know about it and I intend on finding out why." She glared at Nnoitra.

"L-Look! I only told Grimmjow." Her eyes narrowed.

As if on cue, Grimmjow, Hitsugaya, Kensei, Keigo and Mashiro all came down the stairs. "Oh fuck—" Nelliel grabbed Grimmjow before he could run.

"We need to talk." She poked him in the chest. "Who did you tell about our kiss?"

"Wait, you kissed him too?" Karin asked. Nelliel turned to her wide eyed. "Oh. Sorry..."

"Who are they?" Mashiro asked walking over to them patting them both on the shoulder. "Sure are cute. I'm Mashiro. Kuna Mashiro."

"I'm Kurosaki Yuzu and she's my sister Karin."

"Kurosaki!?" Hitsugaya, Grimmjow and Keigo echoed. "Like new guy orange hair Kurosaki?" Keigo asked. Yuzu nodded.

"I can see it. Other than the hair. She's got the same scowl." He said pointing at Karin.

"And the other one has the same eyes."

"Enough!" Nelliel roared. "I'm trying not to swear in front of children." She grabbed Nnoitra by the collar. "I may like you but that isn't enough for me to not want to kill you right now. Who. Did. You. Tell?"

"I-I... Like I said I only told Grimmjow!"

Still holding Nnoitra, Nelliel's eyes darted to Grimmjow. "Me? I told Kensei... and Kuna. That's about it."

Nellie's eyes darted to Kensei who held his hands up. "I didn't tell anyone."

"Neither did I!" Mashiro added.

Nelliel glanced at Keigo. "U-Uh, I just overheard Grimmjow tell Mashiro-chan. I didn't tell a soul!"

Hitsugaya shrugged. "I didn't say anything and I overheard with Keigo but your voice has a tendency to carry. For all we know you could just be paranoid. I'm sure not everyone knows."

She looked back at Nnoitra tightening her grip. "Don't lie to me Nnoitra-kun, you told someone else. A blond four floors up perhaps? Or two blonds?"

"Two blonds? I only saw one—" He winced as Nelliel dropped him.

"Smooth Gilga, real smooth." Grimmjow said with a shake of his head. "What now? If your porn buddy knows he probably did something non family friendly. Oh crap! You didn't see Cifer?"

Nnoitra bit his lip. "I will take that as a yes." Kensei replied. "That's two extra people Odelschwanck."

"Oh. My. God. I am so screwed!"

"What does it matter?" She, along with everyone else, turned to Karin. "So you laughed when he kissed you. I'm sure you were just nervous. If you do it again I doubt you'll laugh at him once more."

"You're yelling at me when you told complete strangers!"

"You were right here when I told them!"

"An unofficial lovers spat." Grimmjow folded his arms over his chest, "how cute."

"So, nixing Cifer and Rose – probably and I never thought I'd say this but I hope its Rose and not Hirako." She sighed. "Everyone that knows is right here,  _right_?" Everyone nodded. "Good. If any of you say a word I will hire a hitman to slit your tongues. And you..." She grabbed Nnoitra by the collar and kissed him.

Mashiro gasped covering Yuzu and Karin's eyes then shutting her own. "Hey, you're a porn star too aren't you? Never seen people make out before?" Grimmjow winced covering his own eyes. "On second thought..." He turned around putting his head on Kensei's shoulder. "Dude, tell me when its over."

"I'm not watching that." He shuddered looking up.

Keigo blushed putting his head on Kensei's other shoulder. "Your muscular shoulders make for a great cover Kensei."

"Thanks."

Satisfied, Nelliel released Nnoitra causing him to fall on the floor. She licked her lips. "Didn't laugh that time."

"Why didn't you just kiss him again in the first place and spare us this whole mess?"

"Uh... wait, why didn't I?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess this is important... Nelliel is 5'9" or 175.3cm as put in the text; Mashiro is 5' exactly or 152.4cm.


	5. A Berry Birthday Surprise: Hell Is Other Tenants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _When Nnoitra and Nelliel figure Ichigo deserves a party they don’t think to well..._ think.

“So...” Nnoitra folded his legs as he sat at the top of the steps by the N staircase of the fourth floor. “According to the files in Zaraki-san’s office... tomorrow is Orangeberry’s birthday.”

Nelliel rose an eyebrow, “seriously?” Nnoitra nodded. “What day is it? July 14th?” He nodded again. “He’s already outlasted Cifer being in his apartment for almost a month, right? We should do something. Like throw the most humongous kick-ass ultra awesome party in existence!” Grinning, she leaned down to kiss him.

“Awesome.”

_Days until free rent: …159…_

"Yes mom.” Ichigo sighed, “okay. Look I’ll call you guys back.” With another sigh he hung up. That end of the month festival thing or whatever ended two weeks ago and for some reason his mother took it upon herself to check on him almost daily. Maybe something that happened that day made her distrust him living on his own even more than she originally thought? Perhaps it was the porn stars all over the building? That had to be the only reason as Ichigo did nothing wrong and these people weren’t exactly subtle about their jobs.

As he put the key in his apartment, the door to his left opened which was a surprise. A white-haired muscular guy came out of the apartment with a yawn. “Hey.” He greeted with a wave. “Its Orangeberry, right?”

Ichigo sighed, “Ichigo – but I guess if Orangeberry is what everyone’s calling me...”

“Don’t let it get to you. Yachiru used to call Grimmjow Blueberry.” Ichigo nodded. That was good to know. Sounded like excellent blackmail material should the need arise. Ichigo’s head snapped to the right as Grimmjow came barreling out of his apartment. His unruly hair was even more unkempt and his clothes were disheveled.

“You asshole.” He bit out.

"Next time wake up when you’re supposed to.” White-hair responded with a smirk. Now that Ichigo noticed, they were both wearing the same outfit: a dark gray and black pair of plaid shorts and a black t-shirt... well they were almost wearing the same outfit. Grimmjow’s t-shirt was hanging over his shoulder and he had a navy a-shirt on. These must have been the summer uniforms Nnoitra spoke of a few days ago.

Grimmjow groaned then tilted his head, “he doesn’t go to Hōgyoku?”

“He’s right there, ask him yourself.”

Grimmjow rose an eyebrow as if he was expecting an answer. “No. I go to Karakura.” Much to Ichigo’s surprise it was the white-haired guy who whistled.

“Yasu goes there, right?” Grimmjow nodded slowly. Great, they were on a first name basis with Chad. How wonderful. Ichigo didn’t even refer to him by his first name!  ~~Well that was more of a personal choice than anything but still!~~ Grimmjow kept nodding until he got a bag thrown at him. “Wake up dipshit.”

“I’m starting to regret letting you stay in that apartment Kensei.” He murmured tiredly.

Kensei waved him off, “whatever you say. I think I’ll keep it. Someone’s gotta keep your ass in line.” He caught the bag Grimmjow threw back at him. “Anyway, catch you around Ichigo.” Grimmjow muttered something unintelligible as he walked by after the white-haired guy. Ever since the festival thing those two were almost always paling around. Maybe that Kensei guy was the best friend Hitsugaya spoke of on the first day Ichigo moved in?

They stopped at the staircase. Ichigo was tempted to see why so he pretended to fumble with his keys for a bit as he saw Yumichika come out of his apartment straightening out his clothes; but it couldn’t  _possibly_ be his apartment.  _Could it?_ He came out of the door right near the staircase and when Ichigo first moved in he saw Yumichika come out of the apartment next to that one!

Yumichika, too, was clad in the Hōgyoku uniform but he had a scowl on his face. “Lets get this over with.” He said with a huff. Ichigo saw both Grimmjow and Kensei put their arms over his shoulder before they walked down the stairs laughing loudly. Ichigo couldn’t remember if Yumichika ever mentioned anything about going to Hōgyoku, then again he hadn’t seen much of him in the past two weeks or so. Which was a bit odd considering they were on the same floor; the only other person he didn’t see on a somewhat daily basis was that mystery tenant of 3-B. And according to rumors that were far worse than any he heard about Grimmjow,  _or Nelliel_ , no one actually saw him except for the landlord (which was understandable, if anyone saw the guy it had to be the guy who showed him the apartment in the first place). Plus, the landlord had a key and was always slipping things into or out of 3-B.

Ichigo entered his apartment and before he got the opportunity to lock the door behind him the doorbell rang. Wordlessly, the nineteen-year-old opened the door then looked down at a basket. “Uh...”

“Hi Orangeberry!” Yachiru greeted moving the basket to the right so her face was visible. “I come bearing gifts!”

“Thanks.” It seemed the longer he stayed in this apartment the more gifts he received. People stopped with the warnings about Grimmjow and stuck to giving him things for staying around. This week would make an entire month since moving to Hueco Noches and his apartment was currently filled with baskets of gifts: everything from food to lotions and the like to sex toys.  ~~Why they made a basket like~~ ~~_that_ ~~ ~~was anyone’s guess.~~ Today’s basket was filled with muffins. Did these people know Ichigo’s soft spot for sweets or were they just being lucky?

“This is from...” Yachiru looked at the card in her hands as Ichigo took the basket. “Ji in apartment 6-M. No, Ji and Rose in 6-M. They’re both blond. And kinda pretty, Rose is prettier than Ji though.”

“I guess a standard thank you should suffice, right?”

Yachiru nodded. “I will do that.” Yachiru was usually the one to deliver the baskets but thankfully the landlord delivered the sex toy basket to him. The tenants left the gifts in the landlord’s office instead of delivering them to Ichigo themselves because a few of them (more like most of them) didn’t want the off-chance of running into Grimmjow. Whenever she gave him a basket she relayed a thank you to however sent it to her to give to him. “And I will take my leave.” She waved goodbye skipping down the hall.

Inside, Ichigo closed and locked the door glancing around at all the baskets he had. Most of the baskets were empty with the contents put away in their appropriate locations. But where could muffins go? They didn’t have a long shelf life – or any shelf life at all for that matter. He couldn’t exactly pass them around. Well, he  _could_ but he’d probably do that at school instead of around the building.

— — —

Ichigo found out the hard way to never to offer food to or even have food around college students. They. Were. Animals! Not only did his friends destroy half the basket but complete strangers came up to him asking for one devouring it like they hadn’t eaten in weeks!  “Son!” Ichigo flinched grimacing as his father jogged up to him. “Nice basket.” Ichigo sighed momentarily forgetting he had the empty basket in his hands.

“Run away from mom and the twins again?”

“No. I’m not here for you – or I wasn’t but I figured I’d see you anyway.”

“What are you babbling about?”

“Ichi!” Ichigo’s blood ran cold. Everything happened in slow motion, he turned around spotting a grinning and waving redhead coming closer to him. This couldn’t be happening. Not now! It had to be just under a month since he left the house. The redhead’s large hand clamped down on Ichigo’s shoulder either ignoring or ignorant of the fact that it was probably going to leave a bruise. “How’s my older cousin doing?” Ichigo shrugged with his free shoulder. “How come you didn’t tell me you got your own place?”

When everything resumed in normal speed Ichigo glared at his father who mouthed his mother’s name. Of course his mother would tell him. As much as dear old dad liked the kid of his brother’s cousin (or  _whoever_ ) Isshin knew what it was like to have brothers – Ichigo didn’t so his father always helped him out. His younger and begrudgingly taller cousin was like that little brother Ichigo never wanted. He was always taking his stuff and fighting with him. Yuzu and Karin didn’t have to deal with this crap because they were twins. Mom and dad bought everything for them in pairs.

His mother always told the redhead things when she needed a spy because who could truly resist Kurosaki Masaki’s charm?

He probably jinxed himself but he wouldn’t be surprised if his mom found a way to get his cousin an apartment in this building. “Dude, guess what.” Ichigo’s eyes zeroed in on the pair of keys dangling in front of him. Damn jinx related thoughts! “I’m on the second floor, pretty cool huh? I needed a guardian and your mom had work so uncle Isshin brought me.”

At least his father had the decency to look sad.

Ichigo couldn’t trust himself to open his mouth and say anything not ladened in swears so he opted to nod. Fortunately, his cousin didn’t share his surname so no one would immediately think they were related.  _Then again_ , everyone always said they acted similar so they  _had_ to be related. Fuck. This was bad. Like everything else Ichigo had his cousin took it.

“Renji.” The redhead in question turned to Isshin. “We should look into moving your stuff into your apartment?”  
  
“Good idea! Later Ichi.” Ichigo nodded glancing at his father who mouthed an apology before ushering the redhead down the stairs.  
  
Ichigo sighed. “So... a _cousin_ , huh?” He froze glancing at Hitsugaya who was leaning against his _opened_ apartment door. “I usually don’t take into hiding but I couldn’t possibly blow my cover after hearing that.” He smirked then pushed himself off the door. “I take it you two don’t share the same surname.”  
  
“Whose got a cousin with a different surname?” Grimmjow asked walking over to them. Which, of course, had to be obvious since his apartment was in the middle of theirs. He turned to Ichigo who didn’t move then Hitsugaya whose head subtly darted toward the orange-haired teen. “Ah! You got family moving in here already?” Grimmjow grinned. “Don’t know whether to feel sorry for you or laugh.”  
  
“Gilga told me you have family here.”  
  
“Gilga’s a former alcoholic so he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” Hitsugaya frowned. “But we’re not talking about him or me, we’re talking about Ichi-berry.”  
  
Great, were they just making up nicknames now?  
  
“He went downstairs so you might be able to catch him.”  
  
“I’d rather interrogate Berry over here. Seems like a better use of my time.” Hitsugaya shrugged in agreement. “So. As some kind of neighborly thing or whatever, can I borrow something?”  
  
Ichigo’s eyes narrowed. “You’re kidding, right?”  
  
“Nope.”  
  
“You just want to get into my apartment.”  
  
“Well, I don’t know why I would want to do that when that was my apartment first.”  
  
“Wait, _what_? I was told that Cifer guy was in this apartment.”  
  
Grimmjow rolled his eyes, “it was. Cifer stole it from me making it my apartment. Technically.” Ichigo’s eyebrows furrowed. “Anyway, can I?”  
  
“What is it you need to ‘ _borrow_ ’ exactly?”  
  
He glanced at Hitsugaya who shrugged. “Sugar. That’s a neighborly thing right?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Its not?”  
  
“No, I mean no as in you can’t borrow shit.”  
  
“Is that so?” Grimmjow grinned and it was all teeth. “If you don’t let me borrow shit I’ll tell Gilga and he’ll tell every fucking tenant in this building that you’ve got a blood relative and we both know how that’ll turn out.” Hitsugaya whistled glancing at Ichigo who blanched.  
  
“I can’t believe you’re threatening me!”  
  
“You gave me no choice man. Gilga’s a few doors away.”

Ichigo grit his teeth, “what is it you want to borrow?”  
  
“I don’t get why you’re so against having someone find out?” Hitsugaya mused. “Is your cousin some kind of world champion douche or something?” Ichigo glowered looking at the floor and Hitsugaya exchanged glances with Grimmjow then they both nodded. “Ah. Well I won’t tell.”  
  
“Yeah, I’ll keep it under wraps... for now.” He put an arm around Ichigo. “lets borrow something neighborly. Like a stack of porn or a pair of socks.”  
  
Putting his arms behind his head, Hitsugaya walked over to them too. “Hell, I could be bought off too. What are we borrowing?” With a resigned sigh, Ichigo led them into his apartment. Grimmjow didn’t even bother looking around as he toed off his shoes then immediately plopped down on Ichigo’s bed. The white-haired teen toed off his shoes upon entry then glanced around the apartment. “Cifer definitely used to live here, its so depressing...”  
  
“What’s with all the baskets? Having a sale or something?”  
  
“No. I keep getting gifts from other tenants. Something about being here and braving out being next to you.” Grimmjow’s grin was positively feral.  
  
“You should consider yourself lucky that, prior to right now, you haven’t been in his company all that long.” Hitsugaya picked up a basket examining it. “I got a few baskets too. Well, I had them before donating them to the landlord. Seems like they upped the quality.”

“You didn’t tell me you got gifts because you live next door to me!”

“Open your eyes Jaegerjaquez, it should have been obvious.” Hitsugaya shook his head.

“You people think I’m the worst fucking tenant/neighbor in existence! There are so many other bastards, in this very damn building, much worse than me.” 

Ichigo glanced at Hitsugaya who shrugged. “Unfortunately, he has a point. There are tenants with levels of obnoxious that Grimmjow doesn’t even touch. Like...” Green eyes darted around like he was half-expecting whoever he was about to talk about to just appear. “Shunsui Kyōraku.” 

The knock on the door scared the shit out of Ichigo. Hitsugaya was staring at the door wide-eyed but Grimmjow was the one to peer through the open curtain attempting to look through the door.

“W-Who is it?” Ichigo asked in a whisper. If this Shunsui guy was _worse_ than Grimmjow... Ichigo had to wonder why he didn’t get asked to bring tenants next to _him_ instead. Then again, he had to wonder if they were both just fucking with him. At the same time, Hitsugaya also attempted to warn him about Nelliel _and_ Kensei (sort of). Just how many crazy/troublesome tenants did this building truly have? Did Ichigo even _want_ to know the answer to that question?

“Is it possible for you to think a little quieter?” The white-haired teen asked raising an eyebrow.

“I think you’re in trouble~” Grimmjow sing-songed turning around grinning maniacally. “Your parents are in front of the door.” 

“Bathroom.” 

Hitsugaya and Grimmjow exchanged glances. “What?” 

“Get. In. The. Fucking. Bathroom.”

“You so owe us for this.” Hitsugaya said ushering Grimmjow into the bathroom. They couldn’t hide under his bed because he had a futon. Fortunately, the bathroom had big ass cabinets that Grimmjow might be able to fit in or he could just go in that towel closet thing in the bathroom that he never used. It would suck, however, if one of his parents might pick this particular visit to actually use the bathroom for the first time.  
  
He opened the door forcing a smile as his parents, sisters and a few of his cousins were all at the door. “Hi!” His father said loudly. “Hope we’re not interrupting!” Then they all entered the apartment without actually being invited in. Must be a family thing then. His cousin, Kūkaku, snorted then kicked her shoes off before unceremoniously dropping on Ichigo’s bed. The rest of the family more or less followed suit. A few of them even sat on the floor.  
  
“Hi honey.” Masaki kissed him on the cheek. “We came to help Renji-kun with his apartment. Did he show you it?”  
  
“Nope. I thought you had work?”  
  
“Half day.” She said smiling. “What are you up to?” 

What could he say to that? Just hiding my neighbors in the bathroom because your sudden visit scared the hell out of me simply because there are scary ass neighbors in this building that even put the most troublesome tenant he was told of on edge? “Nothing.” He actually managed to surprise himself with how calm he sounded. 

Unfortunately, his mother was bullshit intolerant (which was probably how she dealt with her husband so easily). “Are you sure?” She rose an eyebrow and frowned. Yeah, Ichigo wasn’t making it out of here alive.

“Honey, the boy is fine.” Isshin walked over to his wife kissing her on the cheek. 

“He’s probably getting laid.” Kūkaku said leering. 

“Its not like he can hide someone under the bed.” Kūkaku’s brother, Kaien, said nudging the futon with his sock covered foot. “Besides, Ichi isn’t _you_.” Kūkaku glared at him.  
  
“Aw no! Don’t tell me something like that aniki!” Kūkaku and Kaien’s little, well maybe not _little_ but younger, brother Ganju said holding his ears. 

“Yeah Kaien.” Karin shuddered. 

“What?” He shrugged, “Ichi’s got more class than to hide people in random places.” Isshin and Ichigo exchanged brief glances that fortunately went unnoticed by the others. Ichigo always liked Kaien but he wanted nothing more than to throttle him now! Kaien always lacked a brain to mouth filter; a particular trait found throughout the Shiba family – his father’s side. Yes, his father – being his father – took his mother’s surname after marriage. The blue-haired man was basically like an older brother to Ichigo passing on wisdom to him and whatnot. But his mother didn’t know nor ever needed to know that!

“Anyway, we should all go out to dinner to celebrate Renji-kun’s new apartment.”  
  
“Why did Renji get an apartment in this building anyway?” And Ichigo was back to liking Kaien.  
  
“Why not? I’m going to Hōgyoku so I need to be close.” Renji cleared his throat because the stares he was receiving were both alarming and unnerving – at best. When aunt Masaki asked him if he needed a place to stay he assumed she was talking about the clinic so he agreed; then she told him about this place and how he’d get his own apartment in exchange for keeping an eye on Ichigo. Renji had no idea what that meant but getting his own apartment was his main priority. However, aunt Masaki failed to tell him that Ichigo lived in the same apartment building he did. He should have known there would be a catch. Anyway, their stares weren’t exactly unwarranted – the ...generations of Shiba-Abarai-Kurosaki family members (and those beyond just the three) went to Karakura University (and Karakura had been around for like hundreds of years or whatever) so the sudden announcement of one of their own breaking with tradition wouldn’t fly all that well.  
  
“What the hell do you mean you’re going to Hōgyoku?” Kūkaku asked getting to her feet. “Either you go to Karakura or you don’t _go_ to college at all!”  
  
“Now now Kūkaku, Renji can make his own decisions.”  
  
“Not when he decides poorly uncle Isshin!” Kūkaku folded her arms over her ample chest. “You know Hōgyoku is full of perverts right?”  
  
“Then I’m guessing he’d fit right in.” Karin mumbled then cleared her throat as Masaki frowned in her direction. “I take it me going to Hōgyoku is out of the question too?” Masaki’s frown deepened. “Alright! Obviously the joke was in poor taste.” Yuzu elbowed her shaking her head.  
  
“Look. No one said any of you had to agree or approve with my decision. I’ve already enrolled and I’m going to Hōgyoku next month. Full stop.”  
  
Kūkaku cracked her knuckles. “Boy... if your parents were still alive—”  
  
“They’d tell me to do what I feel is right.”  
  
On one hand this was taking the attention away from Ichigo, on the other it was making his family stay in his apartment even longer and he had two neighbors cramped in his bathroom. “Alright!” Isshin yelled. “That’s enough. We’re not going to grill the poor boy because he wants to break from tradition. No one ever said we all _had_ to go to Karakura, the family just did. If Renji doesn’t want to its his choice. Just like it was all of our choices to go. Alright? End of discussion. Now lets get that meal. I’m starving.” Everyone miserably stood then shuffled out the door mumbling.  
  
Isshin looked over his shoulder at Ichigo. “I’m not really hungry...”  
  
“You realize your mother is going to force you to come whether you eat or not, right? Then she’s going to make you eat regardless.” Ichigo sighed then nodded.  
  
“Just, give me a minute to get my wallet.” Isshin rose an eyebrow but nodded closing the door behind him. Ichigo sprinted to the door locking it then ran into the bathroom opening the closet door where both Grimmjow and Hitsugaya tumbled out of.  
  
“I thought I was a dead man.” Hitsugaya groaned getting to his feet. He stretched and his back gave a particularly loud, wince worthy crack.  
  
Grimmjow shakily got to his feet as well stretching. “I don’t trust the two of you in my apartment but you can’t leave until I’m sure my family is no longer around.”  
  
“Your mom’s already seen me.”  
  
Ichigo’s eyebrows furrowed. “I haven’t met her. I’ll sneak out and make sure the coast is clear.”  
  
“That _might_ work but you don’t know what his ma looks like.”  
  
“I don’t need to know, I have ears.” Ichigo glanced between the two of them, “go. Your family is loud so I know they’re expecting you.”  
  
Sighing, Ichigo grabbed his wallet and keys then left the apartment. “Time to explore~” Grimmjow cooed. “I bet he has a ton of sex toys in his sock draw or something.” 

“You just want something to lord over him.” 

“And you don’t?” 

“You’re right. You take the top drawers I’ll take the bottom.”  
  
— — —

When Ichigo returns to his apartment its late in the afternoon, practically evening. His apartment is empty but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t been searched through. Perhaps he’s being paranoid? On the whole he has nothing to hide... excluding all the shit his father gave him. Ichigo groaned. Grimmjow alone in his apartment unsupervised was a dumb idea but putting both him and Hitsugaya together? It was unparalleled stupidity. 

The doorbell rang. Thanks to no peephole Ichigo opened the door blinking when he saw a smiling bespectacled brunet on the other side of the door. “Hello. Can I help you?”  
  
“I’m looking for Jaegerjaquez Grimmjow?” Ichigo tilted his head in confusion. No one sought out Grimmjow, they steered clear of him! He had almost an entire month of proof with that. “I’m pretty sure he lives in this apartment...”  
  
Shaking out of his stupor, Ichigo shakes his head. “No. Grimmjow lives next door in 3-J.”  
  
The man nods slowly adjusting his glasses. “Is that a fact. Well, thank you...”  
  
“Huh? Oh. Kurosaki Ichigo.”  
  
“Well, Kurosaki Ichigo-san, I once again thank you.” He bowed and Ichigo stiffly did the same. “I apologize profusely for wasting your time.”  
  
“Oh, its no trouble at all.” The man nods then turns to leave. “Wait!” The brunet stops looking over his shoulder, “its –should I give Grimmjow a message for you or something? I see him sometimes and, you know, he lives next door.”  
  
The man’s lips quirk slightly in an oddly reminiscent manner. “As a matter of fact you can tell him _A_ is looking for him. Its a little private joke, he’ll get it.” The man taps his chin, “there is one more thing. If you’ve met Grimmjow then you must have met or at least seen Madarame Ikkaku, correct?” That name didn’t sound familiar. Ichigo shakes his head. “ _Really_? Well... oh. I see. This is interesting news. Thank you for your time and cooperation Kurosaki Ichigo-san. Its nice meeting you, I look forward to seeing you again.”  
  
“Uh... yeah, you too...”  
  
— — — 

 _Days until free rent: 158 (Ichigo’s birthday)_  

Ichigo sat on his futon eyeing the door wearily. With these thin ass walls he heard people talking (more like yelling – again) and they were using the word _party_ an awful lot – far more than he was comfortable with. As badly as he wanted to think this party had nothing to do with him he heard his name mentioned once or twice. How the hell did they know his birthday was today in the first place?!  
  
A knock on the door startles him and the damn lack of a peephole has him open the door slightly with the chain watching Grimmjow rock from side to side. “What?”  
  
“Happy birthday dude!” Sighing, Ichigo closed the door to open it fully. Grimmjow beamed. “Gilga told me – well told everyone really – its your birthday and as a fellow July birthday haver I personally wanted to wish you a happy birthday before the masses got their hooks in you.”  
  
“Thanks, I guess...” Ichigo rubs the back of his neck, “that reminds me, yesterday _A_ said he was looking for you.” Grimmjow stopped rocking then paled slightly. “Grimmjow?”  
  
The blue-haired guy waved him off then slipped into the apartment, “yeah. I... I heard. You said – I’m trying to clarify here – you said **A** is looking for me?” Ichigo nods closing the door. “Right. Did _A_ say anything else? Give you a full name perhaps?”  
  
“He did ask for a Madarame something... I don’t remember but he didn’t give me his full name. I didn’t ask.” Grimmjow nods putting his hands on his hips sighing heavily. “Are you alright?”  
  
“Who me? Oh I’m fan-fucking-tastic there Ichigo.” Ichigo blinked he definitely wasn’t fan-fucking-tastic, if the sarcasm in his voice wasn’t a dead giveaway; Grimmjow hadn’t called him by his given name since they met. He might not have called him that then.  
  
“Who is this _A_ fella to you anyway?” Grimmjow grimaced. “Well... if you don’t want to tell me I’m sure I can find someone that can?” As Grimmjow’s eyes narrow Ichigo smirks. Point one for Kurosaki~  
  
“You wouldn’t stoop to my level Berry.”  
  
“Oh? Lets find out. Gilga is only a few doors down, right?”  
  
Grimmjow grit his teeth. “ _Fine_. Gilga is the absolute _last_ person that needs to know about this.” Ichigo leans in a bit closer. “That fucker – _A_ – the guy you’re so suddenly interested in? He’s my father.”  
  
Ichigo just _stares_ before: “Your what now?”  
  
Grimmjow leans back. “You know paternal unit, patriarch, papi, dad, pop-pop, bringer of the y-chromosome?” Ichigo whistles. “Yeah. That’s him.”  
  
“You don’t look anything like him!”

“Oh and I suppose _you_ look like your old man?” 

Ichigo frowned, “point.” But he clearly looked like his mother. Karin was still pissed she was the one to resemble their father the most. However, he knew nothing about Grimmjow’s parents so if that is his blood related father he must take after his mother. “Your father looks pretty young—”

“Okay, we’re not using the _f_ word here, alright?” Ichigo puts his hands up in a placating gesture. “Fucking hell...” Grimmjow runs a hand through his hair. “Okay. Okay, I’m cool. I need to buy your silence.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“You can’t breathe a word of this to anyone. Not even people that don’t live here. _No one_.”  
  
“Okay!”  
  
“Now... what do you want?” What did he want? This _would_ be a perfect opportunity to have Grimmjow stop terrifying neighbors giving Ichigo an easy five months but ...as masochistic as the thought seemed Ichigo liked a bit of a challenge. At the same time, paranoid Grimmjow was fucking hilarious. ~~And kind of adorable.~~  
  
“How about I get back to you on that?” Grimmjow groans. “Relax, _neighbor_ , I’ll keep quiet. What was that thing you said to me yesterday? You feel sorry for me having a relative around, right? Or was it funny? Perhaps a mixture of the two.” Ooh. Point two Kurosaki! He was on a roll! “But I will ask what you and Hitsugaya did when I wasn’t here yesterday?”  
  
“ _I_ didn’t do anything. Couldn’t find anything although now I’m wishing I did. Tōshirō stayed a bit longer than I did though so you’ll have to ask him.” Grimmjow sighs, “anyway I should go... and avoid everyone for well for the rest of my life apparently.”  
  
“Wait, now that I think about it there is something you can do for me. All this thing about a birthday? Particularly _my_ birthday? Make it go away.”  
  
Grimmjow sucked in a breath rubbing the back of his neck, “yeah... that’s out of my hands.”  
  
“What?! You can’t do _anything_? Deflect it? Tell everyone—”  
  
“Look. I don’t know _how_ Gilga found out but once he gets info out there is no way to stop him... I speak from personal experience on that one. I’ve known the guy for years and his party is the least of your worries, believe me.”

Ichigo sighs, “then can you at least tell me what the party is about? I mean, when its going to happen?”  
  
“I _would_ except I’m in the dark about the whole thing. Kensei might know though, you can always ask him.” Grimmjow folds his arms over his chest, “no. Kensei wouldn’t know if I don’t know... or maybe he would. Doesn’t hurt to ask. Thinking more about it you might have to ask Odelschwanck and lemme tell you I’m sure she’s at least fifty percent involved.”  
  
“Right. Thanks.”  
  
“Oh no, I don’t require thanks. I may not know what’s happening but when you set out on your warpath remember I had nothing to do with this.” Grimmjow salutes before letting himself out.  
  
“Well shit...”  
  
— — —  
  
If this whole birthday thing wasn’t bad enough Renji just _emerged_ out of nowhere – no, not out of nowhere out of his damn apartment! His damn apartment only one floor below! Ichigo, unwillingly, visited Renji’s two-bedroom apartment. _Why_ the redhead got two bedrooms was anyone’s guess. Unless he got the extra room for his mother to use at her convenience so she could spy on her son freely. What was the point of him moving out if they were just going to sic family members on him? Who was next? Kūkaku, Kaien and Ganju? Oh no. Ichigo actually wouldn’t be able to survive if all three of them moved in. Shit, he was starting to _want_ Byakuya to change his mind about he and Rukia moving in. _Any_ of his friends were better than more family members. And like most sane, level-headed individuals with any self-preservation Renji was terrified of Byakuya. The only reason Ichigo (also a sane, level-headed individual – even more so than his cousin) wasn’t afraid of Byakuya was because Rukia assured him deep, _deep_ down her brother was a soft squishy teddy bear. He didn’t believe her, still doesn’t, though he’s seen bits of Byakuya that – while are terrifying – give him a better understanding of the guy. 

“Hey.” The redhead greets with a wave. Ichigo folds his arms over his chest. “Happy birthday?” The orange-haired man merely raises an eyebrow. “Look, I don’t know what you think you know—”  
  
“Can the bullshit Renji, my mother brought you here to keep an eye on me, right?”  
  
The redhead laughs, “everything isn’t about you Ichigo.”  
  
“Oh? You see I used to think that... but when you just so happened to show up here when, last time we talked, you told me all about your kick-ass new apartment you couldn’t wait to move into I had to rethink a lot of things.”  
  
“How do you know I wasn’t talking about here?”  
  
“Do you think I’m an idiot? Not only did you not even know this place existed before yesterday but you showed me pictures of your place which looks nothing like this building.” Renji clicked his tongue, “do you want to keep going? Because I can do this all day.”  
  
“Alright! Yes, your mom asked me to come here to keep an eye on you _and_ I’m getting a free apartment out of it so what’s the harm? I can’t afford my own place Ichi, I’m poor. _Dirt poor._ When your mom spoke to me two days ago I figured – what the hell – I’m going to be close by anyway so I might as well take it.” Ichigo groaned, “just what did you do that has her so worried in the first place?”  
  
“I didn’t _do_ anything.”  
  
“Maybe that’s the problem? You always were a goody two-shoes maybe she thinks you’ll let your freak flag fly out here.” Renji shrugs, “not that I’d be the one to stop you or anything.”  
  
“How often are you reporting to her?”  
  
“You think I’m doing some kind of spy mission? I’m not reporting anything.” Renji tilts his head, “except maybe that?” Ichigo turns around watching a few people carry a large banner as they walked down the hall. “What the hell is going on here?”  
  
“How should I know?” Ichigo threw up his hands in frustration. There _had_ to be a way to divert everyone’s attention. Something that might trump a birthday. He blinked looking up (slightly) at Renji. What other purpose would there be to celebrate other than a new tenant? Of course Renji was just some guy moving in and would be the first since Chizuru to move in after him. That was a reason to celebrate, right? No... they’d somehow turn the attention back to Ichigo for allowing the opportunity for someone else to move in.  
  
Fuck.  
  
Fuckity fucking fuck!  
  
That niggling part of his brain was saying maybe this thing wouldn’t be so bad. The end of the month celebration wasn’t done up too extreme and if it was terrible he could always hide out in his apartment—no, his apartment would be too easy so he’d probably hide in Chad’s.  
  
“Your facial expressions are freaking me out man.” Ichigo’s head snapped up toward Renji. “W-What?”  
  
“Nothing. I’m just thinking...”  
  
“Ichigo~” He turned around spotting Chizuru and a pink-haired girl walking toward him. “Hi! I heard its your birthday from Gilga-san so happy birthday.”  
  
“Yeah, happy birthday.” The pink-haired girl said squinting.  
  
“Who is Gilga?” Ichigo’s head whipped around toward Renji so fast the redhead flinched. “N-Never mind.”  
  
“Who is this?” Chizuru asks.  
  
Ichigo sighs. Might as well get it over with. “This is my cousin Renji.” Chizuru let out a squeal that was, quite frankly, terrifying and potentially inhuman. “Renji, this is Chizuru.” They bowed at one another.  
  
“This is Riruka. She’s the one that told me about the building.” Chizuru forced the squinting girl’s head down in a bow. “She’s been wanting to meet Grimmjow but hasn’t seen him. But she really can’t see much of anything because she’s not wearing her glasses.” The pink-haired— _Riruka—_ hisses at Chizuru. “Seriously.” Chizuru sighs adjusting her glasses. “Glasses are no big deal. I wear them all the time.”  
  
“You’ve been wearing glasses for fourteen years.” Riruka huffs.  
  
“And so would you if you bothered to wear them.”  
  
Renji looked between them, “are you two sisters or something?”  
  
“Ex-girlfriends.” Riruka supplies squinting so hard it looks like her eyes are closed.  
  
“For fuck’s sake.” Chizuru produced a pair of glasses from her pocket then slapped them on Riruka’s face.  
  
“Hey you bit—” She gaped at Ichigo then pulled her glasses off before slowly turning to Chizuru grabbing her by the shoulder and whispering in her ear. As Chizuru nodded once Riruka slowly released the redhead then carefully put her glasses back on. Clearing her throat she bowed. “Dokugamine Riruka.” She stood up straight and smiled.  
  
Renji and Ichigo exchanged glances before the latter shrugged. “So, Ichi, what are you doing for your birthday?”  
  
Ichigo rose an eyebrow, “you know something...”  
  
Chizuru grinned at him. “I just know what all the tenants – not you – know.” She looked Renji over, “and not him.”  
  
“ _Every_ tenant?” Chizuru nods. “Son of a bitch.”  
  
“No wait, not _every_ every tenant. But the majority.” Chizuru shrugs, “its not like I know everyone that lives here.” She shrugs again.  
  
“I think I need to have a word with Gilga.”  
  
“I’ll do you one better.” Chizuru grabs him by the arm dragging him down the hall before they stop in front of 3-A knocking on the door. Before Ichigo could ask anything Chizuru puts her free hand on his lips shushing him.  
  
A disheveled Nelliel opens the door then promptly slams it. Renji and Riruka approach standing behind Chizuru and Ichigo. “W-What do you want?” Nelliel calls out from the other side.  
  
“We need to talk.” The door opened slowly and a hazel eye was visible, “Grimmjow told me you and Gilga have something to do with this apparent party I did not ask for.”  
  
Nelliel opened the door partially, “Grimmjow?” She spat, “I _knew_ we shouldn’t have said anything to him.”  
  
“This isn’t about him this is about you and Gilga.”  
  
She straightens up, “its out of my hands Ichigo. I only gave him the idea he did the rest.” Ichigo facepalmed, “but don’t worry. From the snippets I heard its going to be great!” She beamed as he moved his hands to glare at her, “by the way who is the tall guy behind you?”  
  
“I’m Renji, I’m a new tenant.” Nelliel’s eyes widened before she stepped away from the door to slam it closed again.  
  
“That’s really rude, no matter how pretty she is.”  
  
— — —  
  
“I was kept completely in the dark.” Keigo says with a sigh. “I know better than to mess with Nnoitra and one of his infamous party ideas though. My sixteenth birthday was amazing.” He nods enthusiastically, “and even though I knew about it beforehand I was still impressed with what he did. Of course you’re twenty now, right? So its probably going to be four times as awesome than turning sixteen. Oh and there will be alcohol. Free flowing alcohol, free flowing _legally distributed_ alcohol.”  
  
— — —  
  
“Gilga’s throwing you a birthday party?” Hitsugaya whistles, “wow. I heard about them but haven’t experience one myself. You can always hide out here if things get too... intense.”  
  
— — —  
  
Tatsuki folds her arms over her chest as she leans against the door frame. Ichigo had yet to find out her apartment so she was in front of his. “I know exactly what’s going to happen but I’m not going to tell you.” She shrugs, “where would the fun in that be?”  
  
— — —  
  
Chad sighs. “Sorry Ichigo. When they found out you and I are childhood friends – probably courtesy of your other childhood friend – they didn’t bother telling me anything.”  
  
— — —  
  
“Didn’t even know it was your birthday.” Kensei says scratching his head, “but I have experiences with impromptu Gilga style birthdays. Every year he tries to one-up himself so you can expect it to be loud and chaotic and generally just one gigantic mess.”  
  
— — —  
  
“Boy are you screwed.” Hirako comments with a laugh.  
  
— — —  
  
“Never give Gilga a reason to throw you a party.” The pink-haired teen—Ichigo forgot his name to be honest—comments with a sigh adjusting his glasses. “He’s like an elephant. He _never_ forgets so you’re pretty much doomed from now until the day you kill him.” The blond twin nods in agreement.  
  
— — —  
  
“Gilga is throwing you a birthday party?” Ulquiorra shook his head, “how sad. I told you no good would come from being near Jaegerjaquez. This counts as one of those bad things.”  
  
— — —  
  
“Oh boy.” Shūhei shakes his head, “Gilga can be ...overzealous. I’m pretty sure talking to everyone he seems close with isn’t going to help. You should talk to him yourself. I don’t know Gilga that well so what do I know? Try Yumichika though.”  
  
— — —  
  
At the knock on his door, Yumichika walked over to it opening it blinking in surprise as he saw Ichigo on the other side waving. “Hey.”  
  
“Am I dreaming?”  
  
“What?”  
  
“I mean, hey, what’s up?”  
  
Ichigo leaned back at something then turned to the left briefly before looking back at Yumichika, “I thought you lived in 3-F.” Yumichika made a face at that, “sorry. Its just I saw you come out of 3-F and people told me—” Yumichika held up a hand.  
  
“I wasn’t aware of you taking such an interest in me.” Yumichika teased smirking, “but I live here. I’ve been apartment sitting 3-F for a friend. Co-worker and friend. He has pets and stuff that require sustenance and sometimes I fall asleep over there.”  
  
“Right, so I came to ask if you knew anything about this party Gilga has decided to throw for me.”  
  
“Why would Gilga throw you a party?”  
  
Ichigo sighs, “then you don’t know. Well, I don’t know _how_ he found out but today is my birthday and he told most of the building and they’re getting ready for a party.”  
  
“That’s sweet—” Ichigo’s eyes narrow, “I mean awful.” Yumichika grimaces. “Oh! You know what? I bet he found out by visiting Zaraki-san’s office. He has a list of all our birthdays above our keys.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
Yumichika shrugs, “I don’t know. I’ve only been here three months and my birthday is in two months so I don’t know what he does personally. It doesn’t hurt to ask him though. You know Zaraki-san is like a giant pointy haired teddy bear and he seems to like you.” Yeah, because he’s bringing him new tenants. Ichigo wasn’t about to voice that part out loud though. “Oh! Happy birthday by the way.”  
  
— — —  
  
“Ah so Blueberry’s creepy friend is throwing the party for _you_? That makes sense since its your birthday and all.” Ichigo suppressed the urge to facepalm. Moving here seemed like such a good idea (almost) a month ago... “Though I’m not sure _how_ he found out...” Yachiru frowns, “maybe he looked up your info on the tenant wall.”  
  
“Tenant... wall?”  
  
The pink-haired girl nods, “Ken-chan keeps track of all the tenants on the wall to make sure their rent is on time, they haven’t done any property damage – Blueberry’s done a bunch – and pretty much make sure everything is okay. Its not like right in the open but its not exactly hidden either.” She shrugs, “anyway. I bet Eyepatch was digging around with his good eye since no one really knows much about you. _Oh_! Congratulations on living near Blueberry for so long—”  
  
“Yeah, about that... hasn’t Hitsugaya been living near him longer than I have?”  
  
Yachiru giggles, “yeah. People _still_ question how he’s able to be near Blueberry... _but_ he was living there first so....” She trails off rocking back and forth on her heels.  
  
“I don’t suppose you would tell me what the party has?” Yachiru grinned at him. “Yeah, didn’t think so.”  
  
— — —  
  
Asking people wasn’t getting him anywhere so he had to go directly to the source. Unfortunately the source in question was not in his apartment, it was also unfortunate that up the stairs comes a man with shoulder length wavy brown hair. “Looking for Gilga?” Ichigo nods dumbly. “Last I heard he and Nelliel were out shopping.” Son of a bitch! Of course Nelliel would come to/warn Gilga! “You’re Orangeberry, right?” The guy tilts his head slightly. He’s slightly taller than Ichigo but in his month living here Ichigo realized his neighbors were either students at Hōgyoku, porn stars, perverts or giants. In several instances all four applied to certain people though just three applied to most. As Ichigo nods again the guy breaks out into a lazy grin. “Happy birthday then. Gilga’s been shouting through the walls about that.”  
  
If Gilga’s been shouting through walls (and the fact that 3-N is the end apartment) this guy must be the tenant of 3-M!  
  
“Oh, where are my manners? I’m Starrk.” He bows as Ichigo bows back. He hadn’t seen this guy before though his voice sounded familiar.... “I’ve been in and out of my apartment so that’s probably why we haven’t met but I heard about you. Grimm’s taken an interest in you.” _That’s_ where he recognized the voice! When Grimmjow partially blew up his apartment (or whatever the fuck actually happened) his second or third day here on his windowsill were two asses and one of them, obviously, was Grimmjow’s so the other had to be this guy. ~~He had one hell of an ass but that was irrelevant.~~  
  
“Ichigo.”  
  
“Ah, so that’s why they’re calling you Strawberry, I thought it was just the hair.” Starrk nods, “is that natural? I like. You meet Yumichika yet? Of course you have, you’ve been here for about a month or so now right?” Ichigo nods slowly. Starrk runs a hand through his hair, “he didn’t proposition you did he? For hair I mean.”  
  
“Sort of?”  
  
“I get that, you should stop by Ruri’iro Kujaku. Yumichika won’t be the only one frothing at the mouth to touch your hair; Bazz, Charlotte, the twins, Vega, Rose, Matsumoto, Mashiro... all those assholes will crowd you too.”  
  
“O-Oh?” Somehow the thought of virtual strangers itching to cop feels of his hair sounded far more ominous than it probably was. No, it sounded the right amount of ominous. As long as he didn’t have to kick anyone’s ass for making fun of his orange hair then he’d be fine. “Do all those people live here?”  
  
“Of course they do. The shop owner, Kyōraku, also lives here too.” Kyōraku... Ichigo heard that name before. “Most of ‘em are on different floors though, the twins and Bazz are on this floor but the others are higher up or lower in Matsumoto’s case.” The twins were most likely the pink-haired and blond guys living in 3-D, meaning the aforementioned Bazz guy had to be either the tenant of 3-C (assuming that _wasn’t_ Tatsuki), 3-E (again assuming it wasn’t Tatsuki), 3-F (since Yumichika claimed to live in 3-G), or 3-L. He may not have known the 3-B tenant but Kenpachi referred to him _Kuma_ several times. “I’m sure not _every_ employee is a resident here but its certainly convenient; though it practically guarantees no reason for us to ever be late.”  
  
Ichigo nods then pauses. A job wouldn’t hurt – granted he never had the need to get one before; he’d done oddjobs for neighbors and helped in the clinic but he never had an actual _official_ job. “Are you guys hiring?”  
  
“You sure you wanna take that risk?” Ichigo nods. “I’ll ask the boss... or you can ask him yourself. He needs new blood but everyone’s too afraid with Grimmjow and—”  
  
“Wait, Grimmjow works there too?”  
  
“Hm? Did I not mention that earlier?” Ichigo’s jaw drops.  
  
— — —

“Oh.” Ichigo blinks as a long, wavy haired blond slowly approaches him. “You must be Orangeberry, I see from the hair.” Ichigo suppressed the growing urge to sigh. “I hope you liked the basket Shinji decided to send.” Ichigo blinks at him. “Right, we haven’t officially met though you met my freeloading roommate. Ōtoribashi Rōjūrō of 6-M.” He bows. Ichigo bows back. “I must say you are as cute as Yumi says.” Ichigo would not blush at that dammit.

“Uh, thanks? I don’t suppose you know about the party Gilga is throwing for me do you?”  
  
“Well you were indirectly responsible for him and Odelschwanck hooking up so there’s that.” The blond pauses then they hear some kind of motor before a green-haired girl stops directly in front of them.  
  
“Hi!” She bows, “I’m not sure if we met before but I helped Nell get ready for her non date with you.” Ichigo blinks at her. “Kuna Mashiro~” She salutes.  
  
“Nice to meet you.”  
  
“Cute and polite.” Mashiro bats her eyelashes. “No wonder you have the tenants hot and heavy for you.” Ichigo glances at the blond who shrugs. “Do you have any idea how difficult it would be if you actually started dating someone? It might start a riot! _Wait_ ... you are single right?” Ichigo nods. “Yeah, I bet you’d totally be into polyamory though – sharing and whatnot.” Okay so Ichigo might have blushed at that. Sure he found multiple tenants attractive but he certainly wasn’t thinking of propositioning any of them let alone multiple people! _Though_ the thought wasn’t too farfetched. Wait, _no_. He was here for free rent... _then_ he could think about his libido; unless the two could coincide.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Tales From Tenants Of Hueco Noches](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1952571) by [scapegoat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scapegoat/pseuds/scapegoat)




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